Well it's not like you didn't try. You had options of all sorts there. The fact that they found nothing acceptable leads me to believe that they were just in the mood to be contentious.

Ramen noodles...4 packages for a dollar at Aldi's. Plastic forks in the second drawer. Bon apetit kids. Make sure to show 'em a picture of what scurvy looks like, so they'll know the warning signs.