The Responsible One is a role, not a person. The two are very easy to conflate, and it's very important not to do so.

Sometimes life thrusts us into roles, but we can choose to play them or not. We choose. If one remains in that role, one chooses to do so--which almost certainly means that one is getting something from being in that role. Only that person can decide whether the reward for continuing in the role is more desirable than whatever might be gained by giving it up.

It takes a very brave person to give up such a role.