An observation from my life: My house is an unholy mess. It has been so for the past five years while I cared for Mama and Bill. I now have the rest of my life to clean my house and Mama's which is now also mine and in only somewhat better shape. Know what? I would gladly have another five years of a messy place for even one more week with both of them. Still, it is hard, even knowing that, for me to not rake myself over the coals for not keeping our place nicer while I took care of them. I guess the desire for perfection in the way our place looks is something many women share.

For what it is worth, I hear you being a great wife and mother and writer. I know you will find the right balance for YOU in this. The heck with what anyone else, outside your family, thinks.