I know Rob didn't choose to not have a job. But perhaps you need to be clear with him that until he returns to work, you intend to go on strike as far as housework is concerned. I know it will drive you crazy initially, but it might be the only way for him to appreciate just how much more of a role you've taken on since yours is the only income. That way, you might feel more able to cope.

As for pampering, what about allowing yourself a square of really nice chocolate a day? Or asking Rob for back rubs ?