Well, I'm sorry you're disappointed, but it's a selfish thing, being a fan, and some people are better equipped for this sort of anticipation than others. I don't think I "failed" to do anything. All I did was read the book early because I am not someone who handles this kind of thing well. Not now, not at this point in my life, and not when every day is a craps shoot on whether I'm going to be able to even get out of bed in the morning.

But reading the book early did not affect my plans for the release at all. I'm still buying the book, so my own tiny niche of the sales hasn't changed. I'm still planning to queue up. I'm still hanging out with other like-minded folk. I've taken extreme care not to spoil anyone on my flist. If this all still somehow makes me a "failure" then I guess I'm just a "failure." There are a lot of us "failures" out there, though, so I don't feel alone or ashamed of myself. I feel fine.

And I have to go. I have a book to buy.