God knows I have never had your pressures to deal with. I mean, I've had pressure, but knowing that you're responsible for two kids and your husband is out of work is a whole 'nother level. So I don't know if anything in my experience is even applicable to yours. But the only way I can cope with the sensation that things are out of my control is to acknowledge that I actually have zero control over anything at any time, and divorce the necessary actions I have to take to get myself through a crisis from whatever emotions would stem from the uncertainty of not having done those things yet.

In other words, I sedate myself with books and DVDs and good things in between the actual moments of crisis. I am really, really good at this. If I weren't, I'd be an alcoholic like 66% of my family on both sides.

Disclaimer: this is not advice, just an anecdote. :-)