Wow, those are some stunning epiphanies. Usually, it seems that you are so much harder on yourself, more critical of yourself, than anyone else would be, and moreso than you'd likely be to anyone else. That may be natural human thing, but it's nice to see you develop that such a perspective of NOT regretting your role/identity as a writer.

Also being in the Midwest, this winter has hit so many people even harder than usual emotionally and psychologically. Working on a campus, I worried a lot about my students this year, I saw more distress this semester than I have in the previous 5 years. Whether it's the weather, the economics, the current events, or rather, most likely a combination of all sorts of things, it's been harsh. Given that this is the particularly shitty year that you've had, coupled with this miserable winter, the fact that you are holding up, period, is a testament to your strength. It's been a gauntlet no doubt.