pegkerr: (Dark have been my dreams of late)
pegkerr ([personal profile] pegkerr) wrote2011-02-06 06:04 pm

Restless

I have been wafting around the house today like a restless, irritable ghost.

I went to church today...and walked out again after ten minutes. I went down for the adult forum and saw the stuff on the board about the church's ministry committees, and I sat down and all the stuff Elinor Dashwood has been thinking about lately welled up and I just couldn't bring myself to stay. So I asked Fiona if Mitch would drive her home, and I split. I just don't do that sort of thing.

I went for coffee with [livejournal.com profile] naomikritzer. I started three different books and can't get into any of them. I've been pacing around, between my computer nook, and downstairs in the kitchen, where I peer into cupboards and the refrigerator, trying to come up with something for dinner, without any success.

I want to go out for dinner. Frankly, I haven't wanted to cook for over a month. Maybe longer. Weariness with coping with my family's finicky demands, and the paucity of ingredients in our budget-constrained larder have made cooking a loathed chore rather than something relaxing I look forward to doing.

I don't know what to do tonight. This is extremely unusual behavior for me; I'm rarely ever bored, but I'm really not fit for anything tonight. There's no karate, I'm too restless to watch a movie or do much on [community profile] alternity, I'm sick of reading. I was in the bathtub for over four hours yesterday, and I figure if I did that again today, my skin would fall off in flakes.

I want to shut off my brain grutching at me.

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