pegkerr | Environmentalism and parenting

I have friended the

bikepirates community. It's been interesting: this is (I gather) a rather younger group--I feel like quite the old fart, being in my forties and all. I joined to pick up information about this bicycling thang, but there is an attitude vibe there, too, which can be a bit rough to take.

For example, someone made a post here advertising a new community,

carfreepirates. Which is cool. One of the commenters, however, said something that sticks in my craw:

FYI - there used to be a non_drivers community, but it dissappeared for mysterious reasons.

I've joined up, since I'm car free and sometimes I need a little morale boost, since no one *with* a car, really gets it, even though they also don't understand how I can stay in such good shape and I'm not stressed out and road raged all the time.

I replied:

I HAVE to have a car since I have kids to transport, and there is no bus to where I need to go. I could hardly balance both of them (and their karate sparring gear) on my handlebars.

But I ride my bicycle to work.

For what it's worth, I wasn't the only person to challenge the original commenter. I feel as though I'm doing my part by starting to bicycle. But I've seen this before, this smug dismissal of my selfishness for driving a big car (I have an old jeep with 140,000+ miles). We all hear environmentalists railing against people who drive SUVs. Yes, I guess I'm defensive about it. And yet, really, with two kids that I'm taking four times a week to karate class (with huge duffel bags stuffed with sparring equipment) what else can I do?

I want to reduce my environmental footprint. But please consider: when you're a parent, and you have to get kids to activities and back and forth from day care, bussing usually doesn't work. And bicycling is not an option either.

Bottom line: Please don't assume I'm selfish because I drive a car. I drive a car because I'm a parent.

But I'm also an environmentalist because I'm a parent.

Edited to add: Today is a classic example. I drove today. Why? Because of the snow (argh)? No. Because Delia has a doctor's appointment. I have to leave work, drive to her school to pick her up, drive her to the doctor, and then get her home. This trip would be absolutely impossible by either mass transit or bicycle.

And *snerk* Someone has replied to the original poster (who headed the post with the tagline "Every car a murder, every bike a love affair"): "How do you think all those bike parts get to the shops? It's not magic, that's for sure."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Please don't assume I'm selfish because I drive a car. I drive a car because I'm a parent.

It's possible that this person lives someplace where it IS possible to be a parent and car-less, though, which has been our situation for the last 14+ years. I know other parents who also don't own cars and who get around with their kids on buses or walk or ride bikes. Which is something we can do in our city, because we have a reasonably good mass transit system and walkable neighborhoods, as well as good bike paths by the river, including ramps for getting up onto the city streets from the bike paths (when you're downtown).

The problem is, I think, partly having to do with the comment someone else put above about very poor community planning, such that a lot of communities are not designed to be bike-and-bus friendly, but also the fact that a lot of people don't go out of their way to seek out communities that would allow them to do without a car completely or at least much of the time. I've known far too many people who think that when it's time to start a family they "need" to move to the suburbs. That's not a solution unless you move to a real town where people can walk to get from one place to another or where there are buses, trolleys and/or subways. We need to bring back the town, support mass transit, and end the rule of suburbian sprawl if we're every going to begin to tackle runaway emissions.

Los Angeles has shown us all that even the city with the worst reputation for having nothing but people living in their cars can turn around and develop a mass transit system that works, that relieves congestion on the streets and highways, and that makes it possible for more people to do without cars or do use their cars a lot less often. Unfortunately, where you're living seems to be a place where there are limited options for folks wishing to reduce their car-use; fortunately, the status quo doesn't have to be the law of the land. Perhaps it's time for Minneapolis to follow LA's lead and improve mass transit so that folks like you who really don't WANT to be driving constantly have other options.

You don't drive because you're a parent, Peg, any more than that other person is NOT driving because he's NOT a parent. I'm a parent, too, and I don't drive. He doesn't drive because he's in a place that makes that possible. You drive because your government makes it very difficult for you not to drive. And governments can be changed.

There is actually a meeting today in Minneapolis for long-term planning a more transit-friendly city. I think the government is trying.

There is still no bus route between me and the dojo, however. :-(

I should also add that even though I had a car, I did get by with just the bus when Fiona was very young. I schlepped an infant, later a toddler, to the bus stop, with my purse, stroller and my breast pump, which was HUGE. Dropped her off at the daycare. Bussed to work. Bussed to the daycare at lunch and nursed her. Bussed back. Bussed to the daycare after work and then bussed home.

This equation became IMPOSSIBLE when Delia was added to the family.

Oh, that makes me so nostalgic!

Of course, my body would not be up to it any more and only in memory is the situation amusing.

Often both the toddler and the baby fell asleep during the ride, so I had a sleeping child under each arm, folded stroller in one hand, bag in other hand ... that meant I had to shout into bus often enough: "Please throw the shoe the baby dropped and the doll out to the stop!"

I am amazed I killed none of the kids, dropping them under the bus wheels. But being able to manage on my own made me proud of myself and the children picked up the right attitude (even if I DID find out later that the older ones had taken rides alone when 8 and 3 years old. So the attitude of being able to manage alone was not dangerless when I was myself busy dealing with the baby).

I live in southeast Michigan where the car is king. Anyone who lives here and wants regional mass transit must be some kinda godless commie who want so take our jobs and send them to Mexico. Anybody who doesn't drive a car just to get to their mailbox must be DUI or too poor to afford a car.

Sure seems like that's the prevailing opinion some days.

Yeah, people are really amazed by the fact that we don't own a car and have raised two kids without driving them around constantly. We also get our groceries home from the Whole Foods market near us (just under a mile away) using a shopping cart, which is a real attention-getter; people are constantly stopping us on the street to ask us where we bought it! (Our local hardware store, about a 15-minute walk from our home.) And when we're at the store, we get credit for every canvas or string bag we bring with us, so we're not taking home loads of plastic bags.

There are many ways to be friendlier to the environment and spend less money on gas and car maintenance, but a big part of that is to make some tough decisions about where you're going to live. When we decided where to rent and eventually buy a house it was pretty much all dependent on proximity to mass transit. Most people don't think this way or can't afford to at this time. I personally know loads of people who drive their cars, alone, at times when they could very well take mass transit, which would put fewer emissions into the atmosphere, reduce the cars on the roads, improving traffic flow, support mass transit with both money and larger numbers of riders, and reduce the money they're spending on gas and car maintenance. Very few people decide to ride their bikes to work, like Peg, for any reason at all, whether because it could save them money or produce any of the above benefits, but more people need to think about trying to use their cars less or stop using them altogether if anything is going to change for the better in this country.

I'm used to espousing philosophies that make people think I'm a commie. It just goes with the territory. ;)

Kudos on being car-free. As you say, it means tough decisions in the US.
I don't know if I qualify as car-lite. I haven't driven my car to work for well over a year except for one day last month when my bike had a major meltdown (pedal stripped). I do put more miles on my bike per year than on my car, by a fair margin, but I do drive my car several days of the week, to take kids to various things in the evening. We might have made it to taekwon do but the studio moved from 3.5 miles away to 9 miles away, and while that wouldn't bother me too much, my 10-year-old is probably not yet up to riding 9 miles, doing an hour of TKD, then riding back and still working in homework and getting to bed on time.

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