Environmentalism and parenting

[pegkerr]

I have friended the bikepirates community. It's been interesting: this is (I gather) a rather younger group--I feel like quite the old fart, being in my forties and all. I joined to pick up information about this bicycling thang, but there is an attitude vibe there, too, which can be a bit rough to take.

For example, someone made a post here advertising a new community, carfreepirates. Which is cool. One of the commenters, however, said something that sticks in my craw:

FYI - there used to be a non_drivers community, but it dissappeared for mysterious reasons.

I've joined up, since I'm car free and sometimes I need a little morale boost, since no one *with* a car, really gets it, even though they also don't understand how I can stay in such good shape and I'm not stressed out and road raged all the time.

I replied:

I HAVE to have a car since I have kids to transport, and there is no bus to where I need to go. I could hardly balance both of them (and their karate sparring gear) on my handlebars.

But I ride my bicycle to work.

For what it's worth, I wasn't the only person to challenge the original commenter. I feel as though I'm doing my part by starting to bicycle. But I've seen this before, this smug dismissal of my selfishness for driving a big car (I have an old jeep with 140,000+ miles). We all hear environmentalists railing against people who drive SUVs. Yes, I guess I'm defensive about it. And yet, really, with two kids that I'm taking four times a week to karate class (with huge duffel bags stuffed with sparring equipment) what else can I do?

I want to reduce my environmental footprint. But please consider: when you're a parent, and you have to get kids to activities and back and forth from day care, bussing usually doesn't work. And bicycling is not an option either.

Bottom line: Please don't assume I'm selfish because I drive a car. I drive a car because I'm a parent.

But I'm also an environmentalist because I'm a parent.

Edited to add: Today is a classic example. I drove today. Why? Because of the snow (argh)? No. Because Delia has a doctor's appointment. I have to leave work, drive to her school to pick her up, drive her to the doctor, and then get her home. This trip would be absolutely impossible by either mass transit or bicycle.

And *snerk* Someone has replied to the original poster (who headed the post with the tagline "Every car a murder, every bike a love affair"): "How do you think all those bike parts get to the shops? It's not magic, that's for sure."

Comments

[naomikritzer]

Heh.

There are some really self-righteous bikers around. They're annoying. They annoy the heck out of Ed, who regularly bikes or takes public transportation to work. Many of the self-righteous car-free people are also self-righteously child-free, because as you note, it's damn hard to get kids to karate (or music lessons or art classes) without a car.

The bottom line is that self-righteous people are irritating, even when they're being self-righteous about something that you generally support (biking, for example).

[dichroic.livejournal.com]

What she said.

[malinaldarose.livejournal.com]

Many years ago, I separated from my first husband. Everything I did had to factor in my lack of car. I couldn't go places with my friends. I had to get an apartment within walking distance of my job. I had to buy only what groceries I could carry from the grocery store that was closest, even though it wasn't the one I liked to shop at. I couldn't afford constant cab fare and there is no other form of public transportation around here. It's easy to be car-free and smug about it.

It's kind of like those folk who think they're superior because they don't have a television.

[malinaldarose.livejournal.com]

Er...did that come across right? Did I even have a point?

[pegkerr.livejournal.com]

*laughs* It came across just fine, and yes, I understood it.

[dichroic.livejournal.com]

Another thing is, some of the car-free people I've known have had to be fairly dependent on friends or family with cars for some things. This applies especially in places like Phoenix and Houston that are basically built around driving, but even in Philadelphia, which has fairly good public transit, until my brother got his car there were just things he couldn't do without wheels.

[raasalhayya.livejournal.com]

Does it seem a bit hypocritical for "car-free" people to be all self righteous about it, and then bum rides from their car-burdened friends?

[dichroic.livejournal.com]

More than a bit. Though the ones I've given rides to weren't self-righteous.

Speaking as an environmentalist . . .

[avengangle.livejournal.com]

An old Jeep -- we're talking like a mid-90s Cherokee or something?

That's not really a big car. I mean, it's sort of big, but the environmentalists railing against people who drive SUVs (I'm one of them) more care about people who drive Expeditions and Escalades. My boyfriend and I were at Panera the other day (yes, we drove there) and there was about a '95 Cherokee (not a Grand Cherokee, just a regular one) next to a Lincoln, and while the Lincoln (whatever it was) is just a car and the Cherokee is an SUV and all that jazz, the Cherokee looked tiny next to it.

So no, I'm not going to complain about you having a Jeep. (Also, I'm from Toledo, where Jeeps were invented. There's a good chance that the car you're driving was made in Toledo. If we didn't have Jeep, Toledo's economy would be even worse.)

But I'm thrilled that you're doing the bike thing. I really like reading about it. Also, you're aware of what you're doing. That, I think, is the most important thing. I'm aware that I drive too much, despite the fact that my car gets 40 mpg. I'm aware that I don't recycle as much as I should. I'm also aware that I'm moving soon and that'll fix a lot of this.

Good luck!

Re: Speaking as an environmentalist . . .

[pegkerr.livejournal.com]

Yes, it's a 1993 standard Cherokee, and yes, it does look small next to an Expedition.

[whiskeychick.livejournal.com]

yeah, if they really want to make it easier for people to leave less of an environmental footprint (i keep envisioning the strange footprints we couldn't decipher in the woods on easter ...bigfoot, perhaps. hehe), then they would get up the ass of the civil designers that make communities so sprawling. what i miss about living in europe is that i could do everything via bike or on foot. and mass transit for the big events in the city. if i were raising my children in a community that was truly a community, i could bicycle to the market, and walk to the bakery, and all the children's activities would be centered on the town center community center. instead we have these massive cities with sprawling bedroom communities, blah blah blah.

instead these folks who are so ready to point out my unfriendly-to-the-earth ways want to persecute the folks that are just doing their best. and that is typically those of us with large families (and to those who would criticize my family having 5 children, i defend that it took 6 adults to make the 5 so we're still -1 population growth). i can't find affordable housing closer in to the city where mass transit is available. a home to rent that would fit my brood would cost us about $3k a month. (let me look like bill the cat here) and that's now that the older two are moved out. otherwise there'd be no housing for us at all. however, we did buy a hybrid -- wasn't the most cost-effective choice, but i sent a message with my dollars. i recycle. i try to reduce my waste by buying whole foods and not packaged stuff. if i wasn't stuck on rental property currently, i'd be composting and doing some self-farming. i try to do as much of my business transactions electronically. (although some financial institutions make that difficult).

in short, i really get grumbly when someone makes disparging remarks and offers no attempt to correct the situation. don't get pissed at me -- talk to some folks who can really make some huge changes.

kudos to you for biking to work!

[dichroic.livejournal.com]

We are currently in the Netherlands. Before that we lived in the Phoenix area. The two of us went from three vehicles including a very large SUV (guzzled gas, but was also fully loaded up fairly often, e.g. used to transport rowing shells, parts and rowers to regattas), a small pickup (used to clear brush, not much otherwise) and a tiny car (my commute vehicle), to one small car. Except for weekend trips to other cities, we drive to work and back and that's it; we walk or bike for everything else. Now that the weather's getting better, we'll probably bike to work some days. Even some of our weekend trips are via train rather than car, and even when we do go out of town we end up fueling up about once every 2-3 weeks.

In other words, you're right :-)

[whiskeychick.livejournal.com]

oh lucky you! the netherlands was one of my fav destinations when we lived in europe. the people there were fantabulous! taking the train from frankfurt to amsterdam was so much fun!
thanks for pinging some warm memories for me!

[ladyvorkosigan.livejournal.com]

yeah, if they really want to make it easier for people to leave less of an environmental footprint (i keep envisioning the strange footprints we couldn't decipher in the woods on easter ...bigfoot, perhaps. hehe), then they would get up the ass of the civil designers that make communities so sprawling. what i miss about living in europe is that i could do everything via bike or on foot. and mass transit for the big events in the city.

Yeah, agreed. (Although to be fair, I do know environmentalists who try to do just that - they're just usually not the most, hmm, vocal and visible ones). It's so frustrating how spread out many things are in this country, precisely because we had cars and envisioned everyone having cars and saw no need to plan for a future with anything else.

[mjryan.livejournal.com]

First I want to commend you on your bike riding.

It's very difficult to get around without cars in most American cities, with the exception of NYC and Chicago. Mass transit is almost non-exsistant and when it is available it's only convenient, i.e. within walking distance, to very few parts of the city. My city suffers from urban sprawl as I'm sure many do. We have space. We move into it. I don't like it, but that's the reality of where I live. The closest grocery store is a mile away, across a major highway. For people to expect Americans to give up cars completely, when our society is based so much on the ability and necessisity to get around at ease, is ridiculous. We should all do what we can, as you are riding your bike, but for most people that live in the suburbs, what we can do is limited to buying a car that uses alternative fuels, gets good gas milage or is a hybrid and to be sensible about how much we use our vehicles, not to give them up entirely.

[pinguthegreek.livejournal.com]

I live just outside of London. I was born with a degree of brain damage, so it took me a long time to learn to drive. A LONG time. Using public transport would be fine, but it's infrequent, unreliable and as other people pointed out, it's not practical when you have food shopping to carry and when any movement is known to take more effort than for most people. Without my car, getting around would take so much time and planning I would not do a lot of things I do do now. My balance issues mean I will never be able to ride a bike and walking to and from the High Street ( where our not very good shopping area is in town ). Sometimes I wish that I could do more to limit my carbon footprint. But the system just doesn't help me do that.

This I understand entirely

[buttonlass.livejournal.com]

I don't know if you're aware but I don't have a driver's license. I never have and I'm going to be 34 in a week. I have always taken the bus or a bike. If something wasn't available that way I would see about getting rides with other people, who have always been very nice about helping.

Now I have a three month old and it's almost impossible to take him anywhere without the car. It's actually made worse by some of the bus policies in place in this backwards town. I can't buy anything when I'm out with him because I need my hands to hold him and fold his stroller. I tried believe me.

We now own a used Subaru Outback. It fits us and his stuff. I will be getting my license soon so I can go without my husband.

I don't like it but I need to be able to care for my son.

[mizzlaurajean.livejournal.com]

Ya my ex was one of those bike nuts who ragged on people with cars. Never mind how dependent he was on me giving him rides. What an ass! He also was down on the t.v. but was a video game hor go figure.

I love my car. Riding around in a climate controlled box with music is cool. I very much wish it was more enviro friendly we had wanted a Prius but couldn't wait a year for one. Maybe our next vehicle can be some hybrid.

[johnridley.livejournal.com]

Meh, I wouldn't even bother replying to them. I stay off the car-free forum on bikeforums.net. I used to hang out on the advocacy and safety group, but they seem to be mainly there to preach. These people would be terribly disappointed if someone didn't challenge them. They're not going to be swayed from their opinion, and neither are you. You're just wasting your time and annoying the pig.

We're not going to save the planet in one miracle move, and the entire population isn't going to give up their cars. It's either going to happen by each person deciding what they can do, or it's not going to happen and we're all going to run off a cliff someday. You and I do what we've decided are reasonable measures for us to take, and we answer questions when people ask them. This plants seeds in people's heads and they can then make their own choices. I personally think that's much more effective than evangelism, which only ever works (no matter what you're selling) if someone's already searching for an answer before you come to them.

Devil's advocate: It's not too hard to see where some of the indignation comes from though; in some areas of the country, people treat cyclists quite badly. I've read stories of people actually trying to kill cyclists for no apparent reason other than the crazy cyclist seemed to think that they had a right to be on the road and delay a car by 2 or 3 seconds, so they needed killin'. Add the general road rage element in, and it's pretty easy for cyclists to start believing that just being in a car automatically makes anyone into an asshole. Heck, I've seen cyclists posting that THEY tend to become big jerks when they get in a car.

If you have questions about bike commuting, I'd recommend going to bikeforums.net and going to the commuting forum. The people there are quite helpful. Search the archives. Almost any conceivable question has been answered. They don't mind too much if you restate the question either. Most of us are just looking for something to do besides work. :)

I've seen people post questions about their route, and have both knowledgeable locals critique their route, and others use google maps to make suggestions.

There are often posts of "I had this bad experience in traffic, how do you think I should have handled it better?" that turn into useful discussions.

[blpurdom.livejournal.com]

Please don't assume I'm selfish because I drive a car. I drive a car because I'm a parent.

It's possible that this person lives someplace where it IS possible to be a parent and car-less, though, which has been our situation for the last 14+ years. I know other parents who also don't own cars and who get around with their kids on buses or walk or ride bikes. Which is something we can do in our city, because we have a reasonably good mass transit system and walkable neighborhoods, as well as good bike paths by the river, including ramps for getting up onto the city streets from the bike paths (when you're downtown).

The problem is, I think, partly having to do with the comment someone else put above about very poor community planning, such that a lot of communities are not designed to be bike-and-bus friendly, but also the fact that a lot of people don't go out of their way to seek out communities that would allow them to do without a car completely or at least much of the time. I've known far too many people who think that when it's time to start a family they "need" to move to the suburbs. That's not a solution unless you move to a real town where people can walk to get from one place to another or where there are buses, trolleys and/or subways. We need to bring back the town, support mass transit, and end the rule of suburbian sprawl if we're every going to begin to tackle runaway emissions.

Los Angeles has shown us all that even the city with the worst reputation for having nothing but people living in their cars can turn around and develop a mass transit system that works, that relieves congestion on the streets and highways, and that makes it possible for more people to do without cars or do use their cars a lot less often. Unfortunately, where you're living seems to be a place where there are limited options for folks wishing to reduce their car-use; fortunately, the status quo doesn't have to be the law of the land. Perhaps it's time for Minneapolis to follow LA's lead and improve mass transit so that folks like you who really don't WANT to be driving constantly have other options.

You don't drive because you're a parent, Peg, any more than that other person is NOT driving because he's NOT a parent. I'm a parent, too, and I don't drive. He doesn't drive because he's in a place that makes that possible. You drive because your government makes it very difficult for you not to drive. And governments can be changed.

[pegkerr.livejournal.com]

There is actually a meeting today in Minneapolis for long-term planning a more transit-friendly city. I think the government is trying.

There is still no bus route between me and the dojo, however. :-(

[pegkerr.livejournal.com]

I should also add that even though I had a car, I did get by with just the bus when Fiona was very young. I schlepped an infant, later a toddler, to the bus stop, with my purse, stroller and my breast pump, which was HUGE. Dropped her off at the daycare. Bussed to work. Bussed to the daycare at lunch and nursed her. Bussed back. Bussed to the daycare after work and then bussed home.

This equation became IMPOSSIBLE when Delia was added to the family.

[anonuum.livejournal.com]

Oh, that makes me so nostalgic!

Of course, my body would not be up to it any more and only in memory is the situation amusing.

Often both the toddler and the baby fell asleep during the ride, so I had a sleeping child under each arm, folded stroller in one hand, bag in other hand ... that meant I had to shout into bus often enough: "Please throw the shoe the baby dropped and the doll out to the stop!"

I am amazed I killed none of the kids, dropping them under the bus wheels. But being able to manage on my own made me proud of myself and the children picked up the right attitude (even if I DID find out later that the older ones had taken rides alone when 8 and 3 years old. So the attitude of being able to manage alone was not dangerless when I was myself busy dealing with the baby).

[johnridley.livejournal.com]

I live in southeast Michigan where the car is king. Anyone who lives here and wants regional mass transit must be some kinda godless commie who want so take our jobs and send them to Mexico. Anybody who doesn't drive a car just to get to their mailbox must be DUI or too poor to afford a car.

Sure seems like that's the prevailing opinion some days.

[blpurdom.livejournal.com]

Yeah, people are really amazed by the fact that we don't own a car and have raised two kids without driving them around constantly. We also get our groceries home from the Whole Foods market near us (just under a mile away) using a shopping cart, which is a real attention-getter; people are constantly stopping us on the street to ask us where we bought it! (Our local hardware store, about a 15-minute walk from our home.) And when we're at the store, we get credit for every canvas or string bag we bring with us, so we're not taking home loads of plastic bags.

There are many ways to be friendlier to the environment and spend less money on gas and car maintenance, but a big part of that is to make some tough decisions about where you're going to live. When we decided where to rent and eventually buy a house it was pretty much all dependent on proximity to mass transit. Most people don't think this way or can't afford to at this time. I personally know loads of people who drive their cars, alone, at times when they could very well take mass transit, which would put fewer emissions into the atmosphere, reduce the cars on the roads, improving traffic flow, support mass transit with both money and larger numbers of riders, and reduce the money they're spending on gas and car maintenance. Very few people decide to ride their bikes to work, like Peg, for any reason at all, whether because it could save them money or produce any of the above benefits, but more people need to think about trying to use their cars less or stop using them altogether if anything is going to change for the better in this country.

I'm used to espousing philosophies that make people think I'm a commie. It just goes with the territory. ;)

[johnridley.livejournal.com]

Kudos on being car-free. As you say, it means tough decisions in the US.
I don't know if I qualify as car-lite. I haven't driven my car to work for well over a year except for one day last month when my bike had a major meltdown (pedal stripped). I do put more miles on my bike per year than on my car, by a fair margin, but I do drive my car several days of the week, to take kids to various things in the evening. We might have made it to taekwon do but the studio moved from 3.5 miles away to 9 miles away, and while that wouldn't bother me too much, my 10-year-old is probably not yet up to riding 9 miles, doing an hour of TKD, then riding back and still working in homework and getting to bed on time.

[prunesnprisms.livejournal.com]

Boston is a very walkable city, but that doesn't carry over to the loop where most of the tech companies are. I'm sure there are plenty of parents here without cars (especially lower income than you and I) but I don't think I'd want that to be me if I had any choice in the matter.

How far is your dojo, anyway, and are your kids allowed to bike there? (Not that I am saying they should, or know if it's possible with their bags of gear.)

[pegkerr.livejournal.com]

The dojo is about 2 1/2 miles, and they would have to negotiate a hellishly busy street to get there, and I would not be comfortable with that.

Besides the sparring gear duffle bag, they have their bos (for stick fighting, each the length of the girls' height), which would also be awkward for transporting on a bike.

[prunesnprisms.livejournal.com]

Very awkward, I agree.

[handworn.livejournal.com]

I agree with you. Cars are simply very often necessary, even for non-parents. And there are SUVs and SUVs. The Honda CR-V and its ilk, for example, are no larger than a station wagon. They weigh less than those old VW "hippie" microbuses, for example.

[serenya-loreden.livejournal.com]

I live in the Chicago suburbs, and I chose *which* suburb based on the fact that I could take the train to work (I don't work downtown, so had to be on the 'right' line). This means I only drive a few miles a day, and my car is 93 camry with 150000+ miles on it. Unfortunately, my husband's new job is *not* on our train line, which means he is back to a long commute; we did buy a Scion, which gets really good mileage, for him though.

My parents, who are environmentally concious, still ended up with an Pilot SUV and a minivan. The SUV was because they have a home in the mountains, and their cars weren't handling the drive; the minivan was because they have 4 grandkids who are all still in child seats, whom they often end up schlepping around. The requirements for childseats make it next to impossible to have standard cars with young children really -- when the entire family is together you're looking at 8 adults and 4 kids -- a minimum of 3 cars to go anywhere.

[naomikritzer]

The requirements for childseats make it next to impossible to have standard cars with young children really

This is another thing that a lot of people without kids don't understand.

All kids today are put in carseats until they are in late elementary school. It's no longer okay to let a kid ride shotgun, or to cram four in the back seat and have them share seat belts, or pile a slumber party's worth of girls into the back of a station wagon. I have only two kids, but having a minivan means that we can offer rides to friends, we can carpool, we can take more than just our nuclear family when we go on an outing. We can put our family into a standard sedan but no extra people will fit.

[naomikritzer]

I agree with those who note that our car dependency is a systemic, self-perpetuating problem.

Around the corner from me is a Yoga studio and a Tax Accountant that use a somewhat run-down building. That building, according to my elderly neighbors who've lived in their house since the 1960s, was once the cluster of corner stores: the grocery, the dairy, the butcher shop. To do your shopping, you'd walk down to the store, buy your food, and walk home. Another block down is the neighborhood school. Once there was a library somewhere near here, but within walking distance. And so on.

We do have a convenience store just two blocks away, and various other things within easy walking distance. But there's a heck of a lot of stuff we routinely need that can't be purchased at stores I can walk to.

The flip side of this is that opportunities have expanded, as well. In the days of the corner grocery, your daughters would not have been able to take karate, because that kind of enrichment activity would not have been available to a child in Minneapolis.

[papersky.livejournal.com]

I entirely agree that where you live and with the committments you have you need a car, and also that it's very cool that you can cycle to work, and their attitude is irritating.

However, I want to take issue with the cars are inevitable consequences of kids thing.

Cars are inevitable consequences of suburbs.

I have never driven and am a parent -- but I have made choices about where to live and work that take not having a car into account. And Z goes off on the bus with his sh'nai and his kit quite happily. There is a bus, because I chose to live where there is. I can't cycle or drive or even walk very far, so I need there to be.

[pegkerr.livejournal.com]

Mmm hmm.

I do live within the city limits, btw, not a suburb. My commute to the heart of downtown is five miles.

But the bus system (which I have used extensively, including when Fiona was a baby and then a toddler) is very frustrating. Basically, in order to go anywhere, you have to go downtown first, and then back out. There are not nearly enough cross-town routes.

[naomikritzer]

I will vouch for Peg living in an honest-to-God densely populated city neighborhood. Ed jokes that we live in the suburbs, by which he means outside of downtown itself. (He grew up near Boston, where the core city is much more densely populated than any part of Minneapolis.

I was thinking a bit today -- while driving -- about the choices I make, and when I drive and why, and what choices I would have been forced to make if I couldn't drive. We've talked about going down to one car, because Ed can take the light rail to work, and frequently does. The train stops literally right outside his building; it's very convenient. Some days, however, he has to go to off-site meetings, and they simply assume that everyone has a car and can arrange to drive over. In a society where cars were less of a given, that would not be the assumption; the office would provide a van, or loaner cars, or a teleconferencing room, or something. We may go down to one car anyway, and plan on him calling a taxi occasionally to get to where he needs to go; the amount we won't be spending on a second car, insurance, gas, etc., will buy a heck of a lot of taxi rides. But it's funny the way employers will just assume you can get places, even if the job description does not say "must have own car" anywhere in it.

[la-belledame.livejournal.com]

A visitor to our Friends Meeting--he was a friend of other members--only rode his bicycle. He'd ridden it from Kentucky to Lancaster, in fact. He was nice enough, but he started to wear on Stephen and me, especially when we learned that the family does have a car, so his wife could do all the errand running, grocery shopping, child-toting because he would not drive at all.

Also, he decided that we were probably vegetarians because he thought we were nice. (Demi-veg and niceness has nothing to do with it.)

[naomikritzer]

Oh. My.

There is a special place in hell for self-righteous people who maintain their ideological purity by dumping all the difficult chores on their spouse or partner.

[naomikritzer]

Although it occurs to me that there may have been other stuff going on. My FIL never learned to drive, even though MIL's life would have been much easier if he had. He still can't drive. It's anxiety related. He's not self-righteous about his car-free lifestyle, however -- he's a little defensive, since it's wildly impractical in his current situation. (MIL has now died, and he lives in a spread-out suburb with no public transportation at all.)

[castiron.livejournal.com]

Yep. When my son was in daycare, I drove to work rather than take the bus, even though the bus is a very convenient way to get from my house to work and back, because getting to the daycare and home by bus took 2.5 hours (as opposed to a half-hour by car). I looked into biking, but alas, the only routes involved long stretches on crowded roads with high-speed traffic, no bike lanes, and no sidewalks (or sidewalks interrupted by telephone poles, not feasible for quick maneuvers with a kid).

Now that my son's no longer in daycare, I can take the bus home with him, but if I need to run any errands, I'm better off with the car. And the bus stop is not a great place to wait for half an hour with an autistic kid.

[sunnycowgirl.livejournal.com]

I've never rode a bike before, really, not unless you count the exercise bike at the gym. I had a horse growing up, and tried my friends bike in town, and deemed it to much work and to slow.

But I drive 44 miles round trip to go to work, and haul 1500 lb round bales or 300-400 lbs of horse feed in the box of my pick up. Our pull a horse trailer to haul horses to and from shows, breeders, or trail rides.

Could not imagine riding a bike to check cows out in the pastures, at 2am in the morning. It takes me long enough to check cows in a pick up, couldn't imagine trying to do it on a bike.

Bikes have there place in life, but they will never replace vehicles, not in my world they won't.

[adrian-turtle.livejournal.com]

When I took public transit into Cambridge this morning, I helped 2 people lift strollers onto the bus, and offered my seat on the subway to a man carrying a sleeping toddler. People can get around this area without cars (or with one car for 2 or 3 adults), with careful choice of housing, job, and childcare arrangements.

What makes people live without cars, or decide to use them less, are better public transit. And more options for housing, jobs, and childcare NEAR public transit. Flexibility is critical--adults change jobs and take evening classes at a university across town, children are taken to daycare and later to school. It can help a lot to see how other people commute successfully without cars, or to have assistance arranging occasional rides. (With carpools, rentals, or something like Zipcar.) I don't think mockery helps at all.

There are people who live in pedestrian-hostile, bike-hostile, public-transit-hostile cities. They have NO CLUE it is possible for an independent adult to function without driving. These people are not necessarily enemies.

[dichroic.livejournal.com]

More job options is a critical one. There have been periods where my husband's job asnd mine were 40 miles apart. Unless you're willing to bike 20 miles to work (and I'm not, not in Phoenix temperatures) there is simply no possible way to choose a place to live that would enable us not to drive. We did live close enough to my husband's work for a bike to be practical - but again, for much of the year it would have been simply too hot, 100-115 degrees coming home, and he also had to drive to business lunches, offsite meetings, etc. In the job locations where I could have taken a bus, it would have added significantly to a commute that already cut too much into my day. I simply couldn't afford it in terms of time.

If I had been allowed to work from home a few days a week - and some of my jobs would have been as productive or more that way - then I could have driven a lot less. My managers did not allow that option, despite working in a city with an inversion layer, for a big company in a city that was under an onus to reduce emissions. Believe me, I asked - it would have given me a lot of time back.

[katakanadian.livejournal.com]

It's always easy to criticize people we don't know personally. I know I am guilty of it. If you were some stranger driving down my street I might well think some bad thoughts about you. >_< But I know you on LJ and know that you have started cycling so I can appreciate and encourage your efforts. I drive occasionally and almost always alone so I'm I get a few hate vibes sent my way because those strangers don't know that I mostly travel by bike in the winter and even give up the car entirely over the summer.

Keep looking around for ways to drive less. A detachable bike trailer can greatly expand biking opportunities because you can carry lots of groceries or a duffel bag of sports equipment. Even without a trailer you can still do major grocery shopping by making it a family outing and everyone fills their knapsacks and panniers. Keep prodding your elected officials for better public transit.

[takumashii.livejournal.com]

No matter what your circumstances, there are always going to be blow-hard ideologues who think you're not doing enough.

Last year, I decided to get a car. I was working part-time, living at my mom's house in the suburbs about 15 miles from my job, and working the 4-8 shift. And yet I got some flak from people who thought that it was completely reasonable to bike for two hours in the dark through a sketchy neighborhood in a city where cyclists are target practice.

The main obstacles for most people are structural, not a matter of laziness, and I think more people should recognize that.