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In the Bleak Midwinter
It's just all the little things, adding up.
It is -12 degrees F. Windchill is about -30 degrees F.
Yesterday it got up to about 40 degrees F. So all the snow half-melted and the melted water then froze. Ice covers the pavement and the street everywhere.
Delia bawled all the way home from karate because she was so tired and overwhelmed. She is not in a good space physically or emotionally, for private medical reasons that I won't go into right now.
I made a couple errors at work. Little things, but they made me look stupid. I hate looking stupid.
Where are all the damn forks? More and more of our silverware is missing (and more and more dishes, particularly bowls, as my clumsy family breaks them). What, are the mice running off with all the forks, or are they just buried under all the damn newspapers and clutter in Rob's office? Tonight Fiona ruined yet another spoon by bending it in half while trying to dish up ice cream.
The girls keep leaving dishes all over the dining room table and never think to clear them away themselves.
The girls Did Something Stupid involving keys to the house for the third time in two weeks. Thank heavens there was a neighbor to let Delia in to get warm after school. Considering that it is -12 degrees F.
I am tired to death of trying to come up with tasty and nutritious dinners that my family will deign to eat, that can be prepared in the hurry between karate classes.
There are no groceries in the house anyway.
I sucked at karate tonight, because of the injury to my hip last night. Balance was terrible, and I couldn't do round kicks with my left leg.
My jeep, which has served me faithfully for years, is giving ominous signs of decrepitude. I can't lock the doors anymore. Three of the locks, the driver's side and both back door locks, keep jamming. Since I can't lock the jeep anymore, I have to take the radio face plate off and lock it in the glove compartment every frickin' time I get in and out of the car. Tonight, I had difficulty getting the drivers door to stay closed. This sucks when it is -12 degrees F. A couple of times the door has failed to latch when I've slammed it, which leaves the dome light on. A very bad thing when it is, as you'll perhaps remember, -12 degrees F. I've caught it every time, but I just know that someday I'll fail to notice and come back several hours later and discover that the battery is dead because the dome light was left on when it was (all together now) -12 degrees F. And it's leaking oil so badly. I am putting practically a half of quart of oil in a couple times a month.
Rob is still waiting for his first paycheck. I know it's coming. But still. Now that the unemployment has run out, I am paying Every. Single. Fricking. Bill.
I am trying so hard to stay within my calorie range. And today it just seems so impossible. I desperately want chocolate, but I am not allowing myself to eat it.
Whine, whine, whine.
It is -12 degrees F. Windchill is about -30 degrees F.
Yesterday it got up to about 40 degrees F. So all the snow half-melted and the melted water then froze. Ice covers the pavement and the street everywhere.
Delia bawled all the way home from karate because she was so tired and overwhelmed. She is not in a good space physically or emotionally, for private medical reasons that I won't go into right now.
I made a couple errors at work. Little things, but they made me look stupid. I hate looking stupid.
Where are all the damn forks? More and more of our silverware is missing (and more and more dishes, particularly bowls, as my clumsy family breaks them). What, are the mice running off with all the forks, or are they just buried under all the damn newspapers and clutter in Rob's office? Tonight Fiona ruined yet another spoon by bending it in half while trying to dish up ice cream.
The girls keep leaving dishes all over the dining room table and never think to clear them away themselves.
The girls Did Something Stupid involving keys to the house for the third time in two weeks. Thank heavens there was a neighbor to let Delia in to get warm after school. Considering that it is -12 degrees F.
I am tired to death of trying to come up with tasty and nutritious dinners that my family will deign to eat, that can be prepared in the hurry between karate classes.
There are no groceries in the house anyway.
I sucked at karate tonight, because of the injury to my hip last night. Balance was terrible, and I couldn't do round kicks with my left leg.
My jeep, which has served me faithfully for years, is giving ominous signs of decrepitude. I can't lock the doors anymore. Three of the locks, the driver's side and both back door locks, keep jamming. Since I can't lock the jeep anymore, I have to take the radio face plate off and lock it in the glove compartment every frickin' time I get in and out of the car. Tonight, I had difficulty getting the drivers door to stay closed. This sucks when it is -12 degrees F. A couple of times the door has failed to latch when I've slammed it, which leaves the dome light on. A very bad thing when it is, as you'll perhaps remember, -12 degrees F. I've caught it every time, but I just know that someday I'll fail to notice and come back several hours later and discover that the battery is dead because the dome light was left on when it was (all together now) -12 degrees F. And it's leaking oil so badly. I am putting practically a half of quart of oil in a couple times a month.
Rob is still waiting for his first paycheck. I know it's coming. But still. Now that the unemployment has run out, I am paying Every. Single. Fricking. Bill.
I am trying so hard to stay within my calorie range. And today it just seems so impossible. I desperately want chocolate, but I am not allowing myself to eat it.
Whine, whine, whine.
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(Pretty much the only diet book I've ever read was French Women Don't Get Fat, and I rather liked its approach: instead of a bag or M&Ms, eat one piece of really, really good dark chocolate. However, that's not much help when what you have available is a vending machine.)
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*offers virtual hot chocolate and cinnamon scones*
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When we'd just moved to Canada and all our stuff was on a boat and we were staying in a bed-and-breakfast we couldn't really afford and we didn't know if
And that's what I'd like to say to you.
Because while the mars bar didn't solve all the problems... well, actually it did. Because right after we'd had the mars bar (half each) the phone rang and it was the old landlord of this apartment, and he made a joke and I laughed, which I'm sure I wouldn't have without the sugar rush. And it was because I laughed at his joke that he liked us and let us have the apartment, which fourteen other people (respectable Canadian people with bank accounts and furniture that wasn't on a boat) wanted. And once we had the apartment, everything else came out OK, because it was like a sliding block puzzle.
So Peg? Chocolate! Now!
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Thanks.
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Secondly, *huggles*. Really.
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Other people wondered why I was so grumpy when we hit 50 on Monday. Well, the footing was awful and now it's awful and frozen.
It sucks to lose dishes. I've broken a lot of glasses in the last year, including two of my favorites. My family raised me to believe in silverware you can use as a paperweight, so ice cream holds no fear for me, but still. Frustrating.
It'll get better. Today will be warmer. Tomorrow will be warmer still, if your weather looks like mine. The sun stays later and later.
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But we are survivors! As I look out the window it is snowing beautifully! I really can't always explain why I like winter in Mn.