This is just . . . weird

[pegkerr]

Doctor in trouble for calling woman obese.

The story doesn't say exactly how he phrased what he said to her. I gotta think there is more to the story here.

It makes me think of that term Berke Breathed coined: "Offensensitivity."

Comments

[althea_valara]

Dr. Terry Bennett says he tells obese patients their weight is bad for their health and their love lives

Hmm. Personally, unless I am complaining about my lack of a love life to my doctor, I don't think any doctor has the right to say that excess weight will impact my love life. Because (a) that's my private business, and (b) plenty of overweight/obese people have healthy, fulfilling love lives. So I would be pretty ticked if he said something like that.

Even so, I'm not sure it's right of her to sue. America is too lawsuit happy these days, and I don't really like it. If it was me, I'd just find a new doc and badmouth him to all my friends, so they know not to go to him.

[jbru.livejournal.com]

Note that the story says she filed a complaint with the medical board, not that she sued.

[althea_valara]

Ah! Thanks. I'm multitasking like mad this morning so probably read the article too fast and assumed some things that weren't true.

[cornfields.livejournal.com]

It's no longer PC to call someone out on their fatness? Jesus Christ. There are no words.

[callunav.livejournal.com]

"Call someone out?"

That seems like an odd phrase to use. I'd 'call someone out' about bad behavior, not about a body characteristic.

Maybe that's just how I hear it, though. These things are personal, I know.

[cornfields.livejournal.com]

I probably should've phrased it a bit differently. My grandma used to use that phrase, and by it she meant "telling it like it is." If you have a long history with your doctor, and he knows of your overall health issues, I don't think he's out of line by suggesting weight loss as a way to improve your health and your lifestyle. It's certainly true.

I am currently around 40 pounds overweight. That may not seem like too much, but 40 pounds is a lot for someone with a barely-5'3" frame to carry. I *know* that I should lose weight. My doctor told me that I should lose the weight because she knows of my family history of weight-related problems, such as diabetes. I didn't get angry with my doctor for suggesting such, I was angry and ashamed with myself because I know my doctor was right, and I'd been eating whatever, whenever I pleased. If she'd mentioned that my love life would improve if I lost the weight, I'd admit that she was correct in that assumption.

I know weight can be a touchy issue with people, because it's a touchy issue with me, too. I've always been a plump girl. But I don't accept that I should "embrace my fatness." I DO accept that no matter what I weigh, I won't look like a supermodel. I love my body and its quirks, and my husband loves me just the way I am. And I may never weigh 115 pounds again, but that's okay, too. All I care about, and all my doctor cares about, is that I'm as healthy as I can possibly be. :)

[megd.livejournal.com]

Sadly, I think there might not be. Dad's gotten threats from patients that he was out of line to suggest they floss. People are crazy these days, especially when you dare to suggest they are wrong.

You know I hate getting lectures from my doctor about my weight. But that's what he's for.

[jbru.livejournal.com]

Actually, your doctor is there to respond to and treat the health problems you go to him for. If you ask him for general advice on how to improve your health then, yes, he might remark on your weight if he thinks that might be a problem. Unless you ask, though, I can't see where it is his business.

[megd.livejournal.com]

As a former medical student, we were taught it was our job to address all health complaints, including dianosis of things the patient may not want to hear.

Obesity has major health complications. Diabetes, hypertension, stroke, etc. A patient may not want to hear it, but the doctor has an obligation to work in the patient's best interests.

You're sadly mistaken if you think your doctor's only job is to tell you what you want to hear.

[callunav.livejournal.com]

Hmp.

I've been told I need to lose weight by doctors. I thank them and tell them what I'm doing toward those ends, and then I expect to move on. When doctors can't move on, I lose respect for them, and make things very, very blunt. I've found, "I have a history of eating disorders. I'm not willing to talk about this any more," works pretty well - but I don't like having to bring out the artillary. While my weight is one part of my health, it's certainly not the whole thing, or even the most important part.

(Moreover, I had doctors talking to me about losing weight for a decade before anyone bothered to find out that I have a completely nonfunctional thyroid. Let's look a little less at symptoms and a little more at causes, shall we? Weight is not a neutral, judgment-free subject even in the doctor's office, however much people may want to think it is. There is prejudice - prejudgment - against both those who are thought to be too fat and those who are thought to be too thin; somehow, in this country, it's got the quality of a moral issue.)

The article quotes him as saying that he tries to 'get their attention.' My understanding of this is that he feels that making broader or more personal statements may startle people into 'paying attention.' I can understand why he'd feel the urge, but it's not a good plan.

If any doctor told me I needed to lose weight for the sake of my love life, as he freely states he does, I'd raise one heck of a stink. That's unprofessional, insulting, and untrue.

[heavenscalyx.livejournal.com]

Hear hear. I fired one doctor over her obsession on my weight, as much as telling me that all of my chronic health issues were certainly caused by my weight. Um, but what about the issues that have been there since I was a small (non-obese) child?

And if a doctor told me that my love life would improve if I lost weight, I would laugh in his/her face. Before telling him/her to do something anatomically impossible and removing myself from his/her office, on my way to file a complaint.

[malinaldarose.livejournal.com]

Isn't "obese" a medical term?

[megd.livejournal.com]

Yes, it's defined as a body mass index over 30. Being overweight is between 25 and 30.

[redbird]

Context matters. I have a friend whose doctor insisted on giving her a "you should lose weight" speech and ignored the reason she was in his office: a broken ankle.

It's remotely possible a thinner woman wouldn't have fallen, but the doctor didn't want to treat the broken bone because he was fixated on her weight.

[vass]

I've read you telling that anecdote before - on Usenet, I think. It never stops making me furious. I don't think the doctor could have chosen a clearer way to demonstrate that he wasn't concerned for her health, he was trying to control her body.

I guess if I'm this angry it at least means I'm paying attention, right?

[faeryguinevere.livejournal.com]

I think that's terrible, and not appropriate. The broken ankle was likely not *caused* by the weight. Not a good idea on the doctor's part.

[jbru.livejournal.com]

There probably is more to the story. Far too many doctors, as erickavan can attest, see a patient's weight more than they see the reason their patient is in their office. If this doctor remarked on the woman's weight when it did not relate to her presenting problem or, as the story seems to suggest, was indelicate about how he thought her weight might affect other parts of her life, that's out of line.

[pameladean]

I'd complain too. He's perpetuating a nasty stereotype about fat people in the line about her love life. If she didn't ask him about it, what the hell business has he got bringing it up? Also, you know, he is really wrong about the weight. It's not going to kill her. If she is sedentary and makes a lot of food choices that are bad for her, that could kill her.

P.



P.

[copperwise.livejournal.com]

Difficulty losing weight is a symptom of both hypothyroid and PCOS. For years before I was diagnosed with both, I dieted and exercised and struggled and got to the verge of suicide over my weight.

I had doctors who called me lazy and said I had no willpower. I had doctors who pooh-poohed every issue I went in to address, telling me it would just go away if I lost weight. I have a knee that has gone from bad to worse over the years because no doctor would even x-ray it -- "it's just stressed from weight, lose weight and it will get better." Funny, when a doctor finally addressed it, it turns out to be an issue with the cartilage which is going to be a problem fat or thin, and which has hurt me at my lowest and highest weights.

When I finally spent two years researching my own symptoms and took a 3 inch thick notebook of information to a new doctor, she *finally* ran the tests for PCOS. Guess what? Now I go to one of the top endocrinologists in the country, who tells me with my endocrine conditions he doubts I'll be able to lose very much weight, and I need to focus on being as healthy at this weight as I can.

I don't think anyone who hasn't been obese quite understands just how rude and dismissive doctors can be about it. I had a doctor scribble a "prescription" on his little pad and hand it to me as I left my appointment. It said "Put down fork. Push away from the table." I had a doctor ask me if I ever looked in the mirror. I've had exactly one doctor not familiar with my underlying symptoms tell me they were concerned about my weight and ask if I'd like to address it. That's the appropriate way to handle it. Not by degrading and abusing the patient.

And I don't seem to have any problems finding people who think I'm attractive, regardless of my own struggle with self-esteem. If this doctor actually thinks he has the right to tell his patients that their weight and their love lives are connected, I would safely bet the entire contents of my bank account that he is flat out rude and whatever he specifically said to this woman was traumatic for her. Good for her for reporting him rather than just going home feeling like utter crap and hating herself, like so many of us have done for years. Being a doctor isn't a license to be cruel.

[nmsunbear.livejournal.com]

I had a doctor scribble a "prescription" on his little pad and hand it to me as I left my appointment. It said "Put down fork. Push away from the table."

Unbelievable. Just... I'm so lucky, at 5'2" and over 230 pounds, never to have had something like this happen to me. I did have the RN who insisted I see a nutritionist despite the fact that I'm very well-educated about nutrition (and trust me, she wasn't nice about it). That turned out to be great though, because the nutritionist and I really hit it off. She adored me and wanted to put me on a body-image panel, though that never panned out.

[dreamcoat-mom.livejournal.com]

I saw the news story this morning. I also saw the way in which this man interacts with people. He is definitely NOT a people person, judging by his verbal diatribe, I'd guess (and that's only a guess) that his "apology" was probably pretty left-handed. Whether he had his patient's best interest at heart is irrelevant. He approached the problem in such a way that the Dr./Patient relationship was completely destroyed, precluding any chance of saving that patient's health - I would LOVE to hear the patient's side of it before rushing to judgment in favor of the nice, thin doctor.

I'm overweight - have been for most of my adult life. I've dieted strictly, exercised, had surgery, done EVERYTHING because doctors have told me I'll be dead by the age of 50 if I don't halt my self-destruct course. Despite all that, I still stubbornly remain a size 20. It's my grandmother's body - the exact same shape, her bosom, her hips, her tiny hands and feet. She lived to be 93, and was NOT an overeater. I don't have high blood pressure, my blood sugar is fine, my heart is strong, I move just fine - I'm just not thin.

I met with a nutritionist and kept a strict food diary. What I found was that I eat a healthy balance of foods at normal portions, occasionally going after sugar or starch unnecessarily, but not habitually enough to condemn me as a "self-destruct" case. She said I was doing great, just to watch sugar and starch intakes, and be mindful of how much fat is in a meal - but I do that anyhow for my family's sake.

What upsets me about the medical community and the issue of obesity is the insistence that ALL medical issues stem from the weight, and the insistence that despite the laws of heredity, everyone was born to be thin. They may be treating thin people for medical issues, but won't treat someone my size until I lose weight FIRST. Given my history, that's not likely to happen, so can I assume that I'll go untreated? I have some hormonal issues that are plaguing me in ways that are becoming debilitating, yet the last doctor I went to will not treat me until I lose weight. I did lose a couple of dress sizes (from a 22 to an 18) but can't go any further. The symptoms that were supposedly caused by my weight have actually increased and I'm afraid to go back. Until I screw up the courage again, I'll go untreated.

For those who have never fought their weight in any real sense (I'm not talking about 10-15 vanity pounds) the issue is often equated with a lack of moral character. Yet many of us lead active, engaged lives, and have plenty of self-discipline - often more, because I have to think, really think about everything that goes in my mouth - otherwise I'll metabolize it WAY too efficiently.

As to the issue of my "desirability," (to quote the not-so-nice doctor in question who told his patient that her obese husband would die of his obesity, leaving her an undesirable candidate for re-marriage) I am NOT married to an obese person. He is tall, dark and handsome - well-preserved for his age, and he is still very open about his physical attraction to me. He tells me that he thinks of me during his work day, that he loves the feel of me under his hands - in short, that I am desirable. As for the singles market...I don't think I need my doctor to assess my hypothetical chances there. I need him or her to assess my health.

Do I think Dr. Feelgood should be sued and lose his license? No. But he DOES deserve to show up on national TV with "A**hat" written all over him. And he did.

[nellorat.livejournal.com]

For those who have never fought their weight in any real sense (I'm not talking about 10-15 vanity pounds) the issue is often equated with a lack of moral character.

Yes! Sadly, even people who have been through it can accept that line and find themselves at fault. It took me three major diets--regaining the weight and more each time--to wise up and realize that if I had to be hungry all the time to stay a certain weight, maybe that wasn't the right weight for me.

You may be interested in this post and my reply, in fat_feminists.

[faeryguinevere.livejournal.com]

I'm really of two minds about this (and I didn't see the news story on TV, only the article linked above, so I can't speak to the doctor's "bedside manner" so to speak).

Several years ago, I was overweight. I kind of was aware of it, but I wasn't paying much attention. I was carrying much too much weight for my height, genetics, and frame. I was 21 and was going to the doctor because I had high blood pressure. At 21, I shouldn't have had high blood pressure. There were no real causes for my blood pressure to be high. The doctor asked me to reduce my salt, change my birth control pills, etc. all of which I did, and still saw no results. He said that the problem might be weight related, but he didn't push it. I rather ignored him on that front. I tried the other solutions and didn't have any good results in reducing my blood pressure.

Not long after that, I independently decided I should (and could) lose weight. After about 2 years of very hard work, careful eating and consistant exercise, I had lost about 60 lbs and was much healthier. Guess what else was better? Of course, my blood pressure. It was well within the normal range for someone in her early 20s with no other health conditions.

So even though I didn't go to the doctor to talk about weight, it really was the source of my problem. It was well within the scope of his professional obligations to talk with me about it. It impacted many areas of my life and health, not just my blood pressure.

I guess that the doctor featured in the story above may not have had the best delivery (some doctors aren't good at that sort of thing, sadly), but may have been doing his best as a health care professional to help his patient increase her health levels and quality of life.

Was he right to talk with her about it? Or should have have addressed her other health concerns without talking about the weight, since she didn't bring it up, even though it may have impacted the other problems she was having? It's really hard to say what the 'right' answer is in this case.

[nellorat.livejournal.com]

How long have you kept the weight off, and how did you do it? I ask because the majority regain the weight, but some do keep it off, and I'm interested in whether there's a pattern of what makes a difference.

[dreamcoat-mom.livejournal.com]

Was he right to talk with her about it? Or should have have addressed her other health concerns without talking about the weight, since she didn't bring it up, even though it may have impacted the other problems she was having?

Oh, absolutely he should have talked to her about it! He would be sadly remiss in his duty if he didn't - but his approach was reprehensible, and he lost any hope of actually helping his patient when he chose his unkind and unprofessional words.

My issue with the medical community in terms of obesity has never been one of "don't you dare tell me I'm fat." I KNOW I'm fat - hello! My issue stems from actually NOT treating symptoms until the patient loses weight. Some people can and do - others can't and don't. Many of us are living healthily, but are stuck with a certain setpoint to which our bodies always return once we've finished starving them. Healthy eating habits and regular exercise often result in - guess what? A healthy fat person.

When a physician refuses to address a set of symptoms until the patient loses weight, he or she is not being wholly realistic. If it was merely a matter of moral character, many of us would be pencil thin.

If Doctor Not-so-nice (I don't recall his name) REALLY feels that losing a great deal of body weight is as simple as a moral character change, perhaps he can start by changing his OWN moral character. He could begin by taking the class the board suggested he take that will teach him to talk to his patients at a higher level of skill. Learning to not talk like jerk must be at least as easy as dropping 100 pounds then living the rest of one's life on a limited caloric intake.