This is just . . . weird

[pegkerr]

Doctor in trouble for calling woman obese.

The story doesn't say exactly how he phrased what he said to her. I gotta think there is more to the story here.

It makes me think of that term Berke Breathed coined: "Offensensitivity."

Comments

[dreamcoat-mom.livejournal.com]

I saw the news story this morning. I also saw the way in which this man interacts with people. He is definitely NOT a people person, judging by his verbal diatribe, I'd guess (and that's only a guess) that his "apology" was probably pretty left-handed. Whether he had his patient's best interest at heart is irrelevant. He approached the problem in such a way that the Dr./Patient relationship was completely destroyed, precluding any chance of saving that patient's health - I would LOVE to hear the patient's side of it before rushing to judgment in favor of the nice, thin doctor.

I'm overweight - have been for most of my adult life. I've dieted strictly, exercised, had surgery, done EVERYTHING because doctors have told me I'll be dead by the age of 50 if I don't halt my self-destruct course. Despite all that, I still stubbornly remain a size 20. It's my grandmother's body - the exact same shape, her bosom, her hips, her tiny hands and feet. She lived to be 93, and was NOT an overeater. I don't have high blood pressure, my blood sugar is fine, my heart is strong, I move just fine - I'm just not thin.

I met with a nutritionist and kept a strict food diary. What I found was that I eat a healthy balance of foods at normal portions, occasionally going after sugar or starch unnecessarily, but not habitually enough to condemn me as a "self-destruct" case. She said I was doing great, just to watch sugar and starch intakes, and be mindful of how much fat is in a meal - but I do that anyhow for my family's sake.

What upsets me about the medical community and the issue of obesity is the insistence that ALL medical issues stem from the weight, and the insistence that despite the laws of heredity, everyone was born to be thin. They may be treating thin people for medical issues, but won't treat someone my size until I lose weight FIRST. Given my history, that's not likely to happen, so can I assume that I'll go untreated? I have some hormonal issues that are plaguing me in ways that are becoming debilitating, yet the last doctor I went to will not treat me until I lose weight. I did lose a couple of dress sizes (from a 22 to an 18) but can't go any further. The symptoms that were supposedly caused by my weight have actually increased and I'm afraid to go back. Until I screw up the courage again, I'll go untreated.

For those who have never fought their weight in any real sense (I'm not talking about 10-15 vanity pounds) the issue is often equated with a lack of moral character. Yet many of us lead active, engaged lives, and have plenty of self-discipline - often more, because I have to think, really think about everything that goes in my mouth - otherwise I'll metabolize it WAY too efficiently.

As to the issue of my "desirability," (to quote the not-so-nice doctor in question who told his patient that her obese husband would die of his obesity, leaving her an undesirable candidate for re-marriage) I am NOT married to an obese person. He is tall, dark and handsome - well-preserved for his age, and he is still very open about his physical attraction to me. He tells me that he thinks of me during his work day, that he loves the feel of me under his hands - in short, that I am desirable. As for the singles market...I don't think I need my doctor to assess my hypothetical chances there. I need him or her to assess my health.

Do I think Dr. Feelgood should be sued and lose his license? No. But he DOES deserve to show up on national TV with "A**hat" written all over him. And he did.

[nellorat.livejournal.com]

For those who have never fought their weight in any real sense (I'm not talking about 10-15 vanity pounds) the issue is often equated with a lack of moral character.

Yes! Sadly, even people who have been through it can accept that line and find themselves at fault. It took me three major diets--regaining the weight and more each time--to wise up and realize that if I had to be hungry all the time to stay a certain weight, maybe that wasn't the right weight for me.

You may be interested in this post and my reply, in fat_feminists.

[dreamcoat-mom.livejournal.com]

Well said! I do find it interesting that many thin people (my sister-in-law is one of them) hold us to a double standard in terms of lifestyle. She is able and does eat things I can only dream of on a regular basis, yet remains a svelte size 9. She loves her sugared soda, eats gallons of ice cream, won't touch green leafy vegetables, etc. In the arena of dietary self-control I've got her beat hands down - but in society's and the medical establishment's eyes, I'm the one with the self-discipline problem, though my diet is made up of largely low-fat food items.