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And another one decides to go for it
At karate tonight, Fiona worked hard on her bo form with the team she will be competing with at a tournament this weekend. Delia sat on the sidelines with a wistful expression.
As the class was finishing up, she came over to sit by me again. "I miss it."
I laid my book aside to give her my full attention. "I know."
"I want to be out there."
I looked at her hard, and then smiled. "You've decided, haven't you? You're going to go for the black belt, too."
She nodded. "When I was at ballet on Monday, it . . . it didn't feel right. I mean, I was doing it, but it wasn't mine." She looked out again at the students lining up for the end of class. "Karate is mine."
"Of course it is," I told her, and I felt a rush of fierce joy, and pride for her. (Coupled, of course, with financial anxiety.) "I'm so glad." I tapped her nose with my finger. "Remember what we discussed. We'll sign the contract for you to go to black belt, once you tell me you want to do that in writing. Would you like to go tell Sensei?"
She nodded and went off to Sensei's office. I swiveled in my chair and watched through the glass window as she spoke to him and he gave her a high five.
I came into Sensei's office to join them as he congratulated her. "You remember," I said to Delia, "don't you, why we wanted you to take karate? When you started, you were so quick to abandon things if you weren't perfect right away."
She nodded. "I get that now. When I was doing ballet this week," she told Sensei, "I realized that I was starting all over again at the beginning. But I want to be out there," she said, indicating the classroom.
"Because that's where you belong, isn't it?" said Sensei.
She grinned. "Yeah."
"But now you understand the pleasure of learning something that it takes a while to learn," I said. "I think it's good that you stopped for awhile, because you know that now, and it will make it easier for you to go on in the future."
"Yeah," said Sensei. "The most miserable period of my life in high school was when my parents made me stop karate for eight months, just to try a high school sport, because they said I needed a break. I couldn't wait to get back to karate."
"I'll have to talk to Rob," I told him, and winced. "We have to figure out how to come up with another down payment."
"I'm still checking into the scholarship issue," he told me. "I'll let you know what I find out."
"Because that will affect what I decide about me."
So: Delia will have a one year opt out option, but I have a strong hunch she will go all the way. I will have two black belt girls. Wow. I'm proud of them both.
As for me? I don't know yet. We will see.
As the class was finishing up, she came over to sit by me again. "I miss it."
I laid my book aside to give her my full attention. "I know."
"I want to be out there."
I looked at her hard, and then smiled. "You've decided, haven't you? You're going to go for the black belt, too."
She nodded. "When I was at ballet on Monday, it . . . it didn't feel right. I mean, I was doing it, but it wasn't mine." She looked out again at the students lining up for the end of class. "Karate is mine."
"Of course it is," I told her, and I felt a rush of fierce joy, and pride for her. (Coupled, of course, with financial anxiety.) "I'm so glad." I tapped her nose with my finger. "Remember what we discussed. We'll sign the contract for you to go to black belt, once you tell me you want to do that in writing. Would you like to go tell Sensei?"
She nodded and went off to Sensei's office. I swiveled in my chair and watched through the glass window as she spoke to him and he gave her a high five.
I came into Sensei's office to join them as he congratulated her. "You remember," I said to Delia, "don't you, why we wanted you to take karate? When you started, you were so quick to abandon things if you weren't perfect right away."
She nodded. "I get that now. When I was doing ballet this week," she told Sensei, "I realized that I was starting all over again at the beginning. But I want to be out there," she said, indicating the classroom.
"Because that's where you belong, isn't it?" said Sensei.
She grinned. "Yeah."
"But now you understand the pleasure of learning something that it takes a while to learn," I said. "I think it's good that you stopped for awhile, because you know that now, and it will make it easier for you to go on in the future."
"Yeah," said Sensei. "The most miserable period of my life in high school was when my parents made me stop karate for eight months, just to try a high school sport, because they said I needed a break. I couldn't wait to get back to karate."
"I'll have to talk to Rob," I told him, and winced. "We have to figure out how to come up with another down payment."
"I'm still checking into the scholarship issue," he told me. "I'll let you know what I find out."
"Because that will affect what I decide about me."
So: Delia will have a one year opt out option, but I have a strong hunch she will go all the way. I will have two black belt girls. Wow. I'm proud of them both.
As for me? I don't know yet. We will see.
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I want to hug her, and I don't even know her!
Chantal
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Wow. That's...I think I was maybe 15 years older than Delia before I would have known how to say that, or even think it.
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Are you thinking of writing a memoir?
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