pegkerr | Delia and Ballet

Well, I have signed Delia up for an introduction to ballet class. We have committed to just nine weeks to start, to see if she likes it, and if she does, we will sign her up again.

Mondays will be very difficult. I get off work at 4:30, and will have to pick up Delia and get her to her lesson at 5:15. It lasts until 6:15. When Fiona switches to red belt, I will have to get her to the dojo by 6:45, and since it's a sparring class, I have to get her there early so she can kit up. I wouldn't have time to go home to get her, which means I'd have to take her with me to Delia's ballet class and take them both directly there. If I am continuing with karate (and I really have not made my mind up yet), my sparring class is immediately afterwards at 7:35 and goes until 8:30. What do I do with Delia all this time? And when the hell do any of us get dinner? They would have to get their homework done before 5:15, too.

If Rob could help with some or all of this driving, it would be a big help, but he is totally unreliable in the evenings, due to his job, so I think it's very unlikely.

Hmm. Mondays really are going to suck.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Can Fiona do her homework while Delia's in class, and vice versa?

Are there any carpooling options, for either girl? Is there any chance that Fiona could get herself to the dojo on the bus? I tend to think of 12 as "old enough to use public transportation independently," but that's going by the 1980s standards and I know that attitudes have radically changed since I was a kid. (When I was 13, my parents let me wander around London on public transportation by myself. It was great.)

Oh, and I've been thinking that someone really ought to start a chauffeur business that would do nothing but escort children to their extracurriculars. They could call it "Three Places At Once."

There was one of those in Charlotte when I lived there. The problem (for me) was that they'd only pick kids up from specified schools -- they wouldn't pick kids up from individual homes. But, yes, a genius business idea if you can work through the insurance issues.

They do there called nanny's.

I'd be willing to let Fiona ride the bus, and I've already checked, but the official answer from Metro Transit is "You can't get from here to there." So there's no joy there.

Well, crap. Could she ride the bus over from the ballet class? Or from school? Or from some point in between where you could drop her off?

Could she ride her bike, once spring comes?

She can't ride her bike with that huge sparring bag.

Buy her one of those cheap InStep trailers for the sparring bag?

(Just throwing out ideas.)

I'm going to post to my own LJ soon about how driving my kids to activities is the most soul-draining, miserable part of motherhood to me. Seriously, I hate it.

Could you maybe drop the bag off there on the way to ballet, and she could ride her bike over without it?

Incidentally, my response to all this stuff has always been "If you want to do it, you have to organize how you're getting there and back", though I do adjust meal times somewhat, and I do live in a place with good mass transit. Also, I don't drive, so nobody expects me to drive them around.

When my sister and I were young, Thursday was the terrible night; soccer practice, ballet, and theatre rehearsals, all on the same night, running from 4:30 until 9 pm.

My Mom insisted that if everything was going to work out, we each needed to take responsibility for ourselves. We had to talk to teachers and make sure we had homework assignments in enough time that Thursdays could be arranged as "light" homework days, and then complete what was absolutely necessary during the sibling's activity. "Dinner" was a late meal, after everything was over and we were all home at 9:15, generally breakfast-food (pancakes, eggs, etc) and was Dad's responsibilty; we had light energy-type snacks and lots of water during and between activities. (It took some getting used to, but didn't hurt us any.)

We each agreed to a program where we were given three strikes -- if either of us messed up three times (forgot equipment, missed assignments, got too cranky to function and caused major problems for sibling and Mom), we would drop the solo activity in question.

It took an adjustment period to get through, and some phinegalling to really structure, but it did leave us with a functional response to a horrendous schedule. I don't know if there's anything in that experience that might prove useful to you, but if so you're welcome to it. And all my best wishes, too.

One more thing: I don't know anything about Rob's job or position, but is it worth having a conversation with his employer to try to negotiate having Monday evening's free after x time? I'm finding that a lot of business managers in this area are finding it valuable to learn flexibility -- thought being that if the employee is happier and able to function on a personal level, the work (which has to be boss's top priority) will be done more effectively and efficiently, and with a smile. Perhaps ROb could arrange to work earlier on a Tuesday to take care of things that might arise Monday night, if he was always assured of a set "leave the office" time on Monday -- which could let him pick up Delia from ballet and arrange the evening meal.

No idea if that's a real option, but it might be worth a thought or two?

Again, best of luck.

it can be so hard to be the focal point for all this stuff, you know? You have to get the kids there reliably and there's just so much to do and as the mom, you're the logical person. My dh works till after 7 most nights, so I am the only cabbie in this family for afternoon/evening activities. Sometimes I find myself resenting it because there's really no equivalent pleasurable thing I do for myself. Just pressure to drive and find a way to pay for it all.

Do you ever feel like that?

gah. Mondays are going to suck-- and they're Mondays too, those are the mornings we tend to run late and forget stuff.

Is there areas for the girls to watch while you spar? Could that be their evening reading time?

Supper is the real trick- sandwiches and veggie sticks in the car in route every Monday? ugh.

It will still be hard- I know boys are different than girls, but while I can see my son at 12 being patient to sit and read, at 9, that's a hard line to tow for so long.

"What do I do with Delia all this time? "

Both of my kids have done their time sitting quietly with a book (or a Gameboy) outside the other's classes. You can say that during Monday hell, everybody (both Delia and Fiona) are responsible for entertaining themselves during other people's commitments; that's their contribution to the household. Your contribution is getting there; their contribution is behaving well during the part of the evening that isn't focused on them.

Just one "fwiw" thought: would it be possible to ask Delia to wait a bit to explore ballet? My children do much better (mood, homework, sleep, conduct, you name it) with peaceful/cheerful evenings than tightly-scheduled evenings during the school year but ymmv. We have a family expression "stomach tighty" coined by my 6th grader when she was six that describes days or nights when too much is happening. Your Mondays sound as if they are going to be mighty stomach-tighty.

Oh! I feel your pain. We did that Thursday nights here in Sept. Oct. and Nov. I left work at 4:00 and didn't spend more than 5 min. at home until 9 pm (two soccer practices and a Tae kwon do class. My only advice is make sure the girls are prepared. Have them help figure out snacks, books, game boys, stuff that will help and prepare for your car to become the kitchen and dining room. Subway is your friend (because you can get half way decent fast food there) and protein bars by the case are essential (as well as gatorade and water). You might get one of those cooler that you can plug into the lighter on your car.

Good luck and I think you should stick with the Tae Kwon Do. You seem to enjoy it.

I don't know the layout of your home city, but isn't there any way your kids could transport themselves? That's what we used to do in my family from when we were about 10. But then I lived in a very safe city where one could bike/take the bus practically everywhere.

Delia and Ballet

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

Personal chauffeurs.....

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject