Brown belt test

[pegkerr]

I asked sensei last week whether it was likely that I might test for brown belt this month. He said yes, so they'll be looking at me for pretesting this week, and now the test is looming in my mind.

For me, brown belt feels like a really big deal.

In our dojo, passing brown belt means that you are now addressed as "Mr." or "Ms. [last name]" There's a profound level of respect associated with earning that belt. It has been quite funny that for a good part of a year, my daughters have been addressed with the "Ms." honorific whereas I am still "Peg."

Technically, this should be my second experience testing at the Advanced belt level (Advanced belt exams starts when you are a red belt testing for brown stripe, running up through double black stripe, the last belt before black belt). But I earned my brown stripe belt (my present one) at a makeup test, not the regular test, and so it was a bit rushed, and let's face it--much easier than the Advanced tests are usually run. This will be, for all intents and purposes, really my first Advanced belt test.

What is making me fret so much is that, inexplicably, right in time for the test, my balance seems to have disappeared on one side. If I stand on my left leg and kick with my right, I can balance, no problem. Front kick, round kick, hook kick and sidekick, whatever. . . I wobble a little on some, but no more than would be expected of someone testing for brown.

But if I stand on my right leg and kick with my left, the story is completely different. I do okay on the front kick. But I start wobbling badly on the round kick and hook kicks. And to my consternation, I'm continually falling out of the kick entirely when I attempt the side kick on that side.

Weird. It's as if I've had a margarita that's affecting only one side of my brain.

I discovered this in class last Thursday. Worried, I went down to practice kicking in the downstairs gym during my lunch hour today, and the problem is definitely still there. I did a little better than last Thursday, but the difference between the two sides is quite marked: I can balance on 90% of the side kicks, kicking with the right leg. But when I kick with the left leg, I'm falling out of, I dunno, about three-quarters of the kicks.

This is ridiculous. I'm trying to cope with it by concentrating as hard as I can on keeping my focus on my target, and on keeping my hands controlled. I know that senseis will also be looking especially for a full pivot on the supporting leg, so I'm trying not to lose track of that, either. And of course, another thing they look for on tests is that if you do fall out of a kick, whatever you do, you don't give up but instead get your leg back up there as fast as possible.

At this point, it becomes sort of a mind game. The pressure of the test and my difficulties on Thursday have increased my anxiety about keeping my balance, particularly kicking with my left leg, but what happens whenever anxiety increases? You guessed it--balance actually becomes even worse. Wonderful. I'm afraid I'm going to psych myself out before I even start the test, maybe even this week while I'm being pre-tested.

I can't ever remember being so anxious about a test this far in advance.

Rob has to work the morning of the test (of course) and so will miss it. I'm rather bitter about that.

Comments

[tanaise.livejournal.com]

Is there time to go to a chiropractor or massage therapist before then? Maybe you just nudged something out of alignment that could be fixed easily.

[pegkerr.livejournal.com]

It doesn't feel like a body thing, like that there's something wrong with my legs. It feels like a brain thing, as if there is something off-kilter with my internal gyroscope.

I wonder whether I might have a low-level ear infection, perhaps? I don't feel it in any way, if I do--no head congestion nor any sign of a cold.

It's just weird--how strange that it only seems to be affecting one side. And very disconcerting.

[tanaise.livejournal.com]

Ah. Then antihistamine/anti-allergy pill, a decongestant, and regular steam? I get periodic ear infections, and the best way to avoid getting one--or getting one to the really painful point--is regular decongestants for a few days, to get the drainage working again. (and yes, I can get them without any sort of head or face congestion.)

[jbru.livejournal.com]

If you suspect an inner-ear thing, you might try some manual lymph drainage on the "can't hurt, might help" theory.

[moodyduck.livejournal.com]

Sometimes I get fluid buildup in one ear and can't tell except for a minor hearing difference or occasional crackling. And it is independent of whether I feel stuffy. Decongestants help. And yes, it can foul up my already lousy balance.

Best of luck on your test. I remember my brown belt test and it was very exciting, especially because it is the first of only two times that we change belt colors. A big step!

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

How strange--but I know things like that can happen. It will probably go away, but thinking about it will probably make you all the more conscious of it for a while. I wish I could think of something to do to make it better--it seems like it might be an inner ear thing.

[aome.livejournal.com]

I think this is fantastic, Peg. And while I totally understand the performance anxiety, look at it this way - they wouldn't test you if they weren't pretty sure you COULD do it. So - WAY TO GO! I'll be cheering from over here.

[davidschroth.livejournal.com]

On those rare occasions I do Yoga balance poses, I find that difficulty in balancing is directly correlated with a propensity to lock the knee of the leg I'm attempting to balance on. And I definitely am more prone to locking the knee on one leg than I am on locking the knee of the other leg.

I don't know if this is germane to your situation.