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When Kurt Met Blaine
This is adorable. A little late, but perfect for National Coming Out Day.
Fifty-five percent of respondents said they oppose adding such an amendment while 39 percent favor a constitutional ban -- views that appear to be a sharp reversal of poll results seven years ago.
Opposition to the ban generally cuts across all ages, though support rises gradually with age. Sixty percent of Minnesotans aged 18 to 34 oppose the idea. A slim majority, 51 percent, of Minnesotans older than 65 oppose the constitutional ban.
It Gets Better Project Members Help Pressure Bigoted AR School Board Member to ResignThe things this man said were just unbelievable, PARTICULARLY since he was in a position of authority over children (school board). Anderson Cooper nailed this guy to the WALL. He deserved it. Watch these videos; they're jaw-dropping. Thank heavens the bigot has resigned."Seriously they want me to wear purple because five queers killed themselves. The only way im wearin it for them is if they all commit suicide."
These were the words posted on Facebook by Clint McCance, a school board member in the Midland School District in Independence Country, Arkansas late last week.
Quickly upon learning of McCance's actions, we called on our project's nearly 100,000 Facebook supporters to petition him to resign immediately. And just one day later, live on CNN, Mr. McCance bowed to the pressure.
( Introduction: Marriage )Download the full brief.
Quick — what’s your worst memory from high school?
Try to narrow it down to just one. Does it involve being bullied? Made fun of for being gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender? Does it involve getting called names, laughed at, ostracized, reviled, and demeaned?
We all, in the LGBT community, have some of those memories. Whether they happened when we were five or 14 or in college or even later, those moments scarred us, they bred fear, they held us back. They damaged our lives. And for all too many of us, they may even have convinced us that life as an LGBT person was not worth living, and caused us to attempt suicide.
Even in this era when the LGBT community is more visible and more positively regarded than ever before in the U.S. — when the federal courts are beginning to rule in favor of equality, the vast majority of the population supports our right to serve openly in the military, and an increasing number of states and cities have found ways to legally recognize our unions and our families — the suicide rate among LGBT youth is still many times that of the general population. Among transgender youth, the rate of attempted suicide may be as high as 50 percent. Of all kids in the U.S. who actually do kill themselves, fully 30 percent are estimated to be gay, lesbian, or transgender.
Thirty percent. Nearly one-third of people between the ages of five and 24 who kill themselves identify as LGBT. When we comprise only 10 percent at most of the total population. Those numbers are huge, and horrifying.
But of course, as all of us who have survived know very well, it gets better. And that is the point of a new project begun by columnist and author Dan Savage on YouTube. Dan and his husband Terry were moved by the recent story of Billy Lucas, a gay teen in Indiana who hanged himself after ongoing bullying. They realized that what kids like Billy need is to hear from adult gays and lesbians who have lived through the misery they’re experiencing, and who have come through it to discover a great life on the other side.
Of course, as Dan points out, gay adults are not invited into schools and churches to offer encouragement to gay youth. But why wait for permission when there’s the Internet?
Dan and Terry launched a channel on YouTube. They made its first video together, telling stories about their struggles as teenagers and, much more important, how happy their lives are now, as adults, partners, and parents. They are soliciting more videos from all of us who have good stories to tell.
Growing up gay often continues to be horrible, even as our community’s situation overall is getting steadily better. Being an outcast, being different, means you’re going to be abused in school. To be gay in a society where issues of gender and sexuality are as incendiary as they are in the US means you’re a magnet for every cruelty your peers have ready to spew out. Those of us who have made it through have a responsibility to share our stories, to tell LGBT youth that life does get better, and to let them know that there is an entire community out here ready and eager to welcome them.
Yesterday, a federal district judge in Boston declared that the federal ban on recognizing same-sex marriage - as articulated in the 1996 Defense of Marriage Act, or DOMA - is unconstitutional.Here's some legal analysis which I think a lay person can follow. It characterizes the two decisions as "big, good and mostly expected news."
The judge, Joseph Tauro, based his decision on the notion that states, not the federal government, have jurisdiction over the definition of marriage. If his decision holds up through appeals - and that's a big if - it would mean that the federal government would likely have to recognize those same-sex marriages already recognized by states, and thus provide benefits like Medicaid to same-sex partners.
To be clear: The decision would not mean that both federal and state governments would have to recognize same-sex marriage nationwide. Instead, it would mandate that the federal government would have to recognize same-sex marriages already recognized by Massachusetts and other states that recognize gay marriage. (The case actually dealt with a specific group of people looking for specific benefits, but the broader implication is that the relevant section of DOMA would fall.)
The case now could move from the district court to the U.S. court of appeals for the first circuit, which includes three other New England states; it could then go to the Supreme Court. Ironically, an appeal to the decision would come from the Justice Department of the Obama administration, which wants to repeal DOMA but must defend it so long as it remains law.
A couple of months ago I interviewed Nathan Albert from the Marin Foundation about Mercy, Justice, and the GLBT Community. It generated some interesting dialogue around a tough issue… how does the Church communicate God’s love to the gay community?
This past weekend Chicago, along with many other US cities, celebrated Gay Pride with a parade. As a part of the weekend, Nathan and a group of over 30 Christians from various Chicago churches went to demonstrate at the Gay Pride Parade with the Marin Foundation.
Their demonstration was much different, though.
While the most vocal “Christian” presence at the parade was in the form of protesters with “God Hates Fags” signs, Nathan and a team from the Marin Foundation took a different approach… they chose to apologize.
The volunteers wore black t-shirts with the phrase “I’m Sorry” on the front and held signs with messages of apology, on behalf of all Christians, for the way the church has treated the gay community.
While the ultimate message Jesus came to preach was one of love, grace and compassion, we’ve sadly misrepresented Him and alienated sons and daughters from their Father’s embrace… and I’m so excited to see how Nathan and his team took a different, humble approach and in the end, did something far more powerful than preaching or shouting… they showed love.
Nathan posted a story from the Pride Parade outreach on his blog that absolutely needs to be heard…Here’s some excerpts…What I loved most about the day is when people “got it.” I loved watching people’s faces as they saw our shirts, read the signs, and looked back at us. Responses were incredible. Some people blew us kisses, some hugged us, some screamed thank you. A couple ladies walked up and said we were the best thing they had seen all day.
Watching people recognize our apology brought me to tears many times. It was reconciliation personified.
My favorite though was a gentleman who was dancing on a float. He was dressed solely in white underwear and had a pack of abs like no one else. As he was dancing on the float, he noticed us and jokingly yelled, “What are you sorry for? It’s pride!” I pointed to our signs and watched him read them.
Then it clicked.
Then he got it.
He stopped dancing. He looked at all of us standing there. A look of utter seriousness came across his face. And as the float passed us he jumped off of it and ran towards us. He hugged me and whispered, “thank you.”
I think a lot of people would stop at the whole “man in his underwear dancing” part. That seems to be the most controversial. It’s what makes the evening news. It’s the stereotype most people have in their minds about Pride.
Sadly, most Christians want to run from such a sight rather than engage it. Most Christian won’t even learn if that person dancing in his underwear has a name. Well, he does. His name is Tristan.
However, I think Jesus would have hugged him too. It’s exactly what I read throughout scripture: Jesus hanging out with people that religious people would flee from. Correlation between then and now? I think so.
Acceptance is one thing. Reconciliation is another. Sure at Pride, everyone is accepted (except perhaps the protestors). There are churches that say they accept all. There are business that say the accept everyone. But acceptance isn’t enough. Reconciliation is.
Reconciliation forces one to remember the wrongs committed and relive constant pain. Yet it’s more powerful and transformational because two parties that should not be together and have every right to hate one another come together for the good of one another, for forgiveness, reconciliation, unity.
What I saw and experienced at Pride 2010 was the beginning of reconciliation. It was in the shocked faces of gay men and women who did not ever think Christians would apologize to them.
I hugged a man in his underwear. I hugged him tightly. And I am proud.
What’s so cool about this story is that when Nathan posted the picture it lit up on Facebook and someone recognized Tristan and Tristan got in touch with Nathan yesterday afternoon. He said that all he could talk about from his experience at the Pride Parade was meeting Nathan and all of the Christians who were there to say they were sorry.
He was moved and he and Nathan are going to meet up later this week for coffee.
That’s what it’s all about. Who knows what will happen or what will come of this, but one life was impacted and countless seeds were planted in the hearts of many.
Pray for Tristan and Nathan’s conversation and pray that this will be the beginning of a movement of reconciliation between the Church and the gay community.
Huge props to Nathan, Kevin, Andrew, everyone at the Marin Foundation, and those who courageously joined them this weekend in taking Christ’s love to a place most Christians would run away from. Thanks for being an example and setting a high bar for the rest of us to follow.
How is your church communicating to the gay community? Maybe we need to start with a humble apology.
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UPDATE: Many people have responded wanting to do something similar in their cities, so the Marin Foundation is making the “I’m Sorry” t-shirts available. Details here.