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Setting Goals
What with the 100 pushup challenge, I've been thinking about the goals I have in my life, and the progress I'm making toward them. I'm a Myers-Briggs ENFJ, and the "J" means that I'm into goals, schedules, structures (unlike my husband, who in contrast is a "P" go-with-the-flow sort of guy. A frequent source of, shall we say, not seeing eye-to-eye on things in our marriage).
I like setting goals for myself. I respond well to them, for the most part. Sometimes, however, I get frustrated with myself because I am not making the progress I would like. Sometimes that is due to the goal I have in mind isn't very realistic; sometimes I sabotage myself--mildly. Sometimes real life gets in the way (i.e., Rob's job loss has been a set back in a number of different areas).
Money
Get out of debt: I became extremely unhappy with our debt level when Rob was still at CompUSA, and we are trying to get out. Obviously, two job losses have not helped, but we are trying. For one thing, I have said no more credit cards and we are really doing our best to stick to this resolve. Other things we've done: developed the arrangement with sensei so that we're bartering cleaning/taking pictures at the belt tests so that we don't have to pay tuition (the karate scholarship, of course, helped enormously too; shout out thank you! to the donor). I'm riding my bike to save money on transportation costs. I'm using the Internet aggressively to cut shopping costs, i.e., always Googling for coupon codes when I buy anything on line, using the Payment Protectr program, etc. And obviously, doing our best to cut all the little costs: making coffee instead of buying it, cutting back on entertainment and dining out costs, etc.
Build an emergency fund: It's interesting, balancing this goal with the get out of debt goal. Having an emergency fund is a great way to keep yourself from spending on credit cards, since a lot of people resort to them when life's little emergencies happen. Like (to pick a TOTALLY random example) totaling your car. We decided to put $1000 in the fund to start and then concentrate on debt reduction. This all changed when Rob lost his job (the second time) because suddenly, that emergency fund was (partially) what we had to live on when the unemployment runs out. Obviously, hope for the best, plan for the worst. So now our strategy is, save every penny we can, continue making all (minimum) debt payments (which we are doing) and shove all the rest into savings, so that we can tide ourselves over as long as possible. When Rob gets a job again, I hope to slowly build this fund up to be about three to six months of our living expenses, while continually to aggressively pay down debt.
Saving for retirement: Good news: I started earlier than some Americans have, and I'm doing better than the national average.
Bad news: I'm still not saving enough to fund the kind of retirement I want. Rob, on the other hand, started much too late and his employment history hasn't helped. He has waaaaaayyyyy too little saved and says he doesn't think he can ever retire. And with the job losses, I've had to cut back my own contribution. I hope to jack up my contribution rate again once he finds work, and I will urge him to increase his rate, too. I probably will have to work until at least the age of seventy, and find part time work after that. I definitely worry that I haven't saved enough. We should get long-term care insurance, too, at least for Rob, who is over the age of fifty, but we can't afford it now. Hopefully that is another thing we can address when he gets a job.
Saving for college: Good news: I've been saving since Fiona was two and Delia was born. Bad news: not enough. Not enough for even one year of tuition, which is infuriating and scary. And I stopped altogether when Rob lost his job the first time. I'm super worried about this. I want the girls to be able to go to college, and to come out of it without being saddled with crippling debt. I plan to search VERY AGGRESSIVELY for scholarships. I plan to start looking into this in the coming year. Getting our general debt load lower would help us on this goal, too, since it would open up our cash flow.
European vacation: We talked about this last summer, about going as a family before the girls went off to college. Unfortunately, the job losses have torpedoed any progress we could make toward this goal. It's a pity; I LOVED my time in Europe as a college student, and I really want the girls to experience it, too. Rob hasn't been to Europe and doesn't feel nearly as strongly about it as me. I think the fact that we also want to go to some of the upcoming Harry Potter conferences (Azkatraz, and the one at Universal the year after that) will be a conflicting goal. Lord, we're not made of money.
Fitness
Black Belt: This is a very long-term goal; I probably have another year and a half to two years to go. It's great to be able to share it with my daughters, and I feel good that I'm modeling good behavior to them by working on it. Working toward this goal means keeping fit, being able to defend myself, keeping strong, feeling confident, fighting a rear guard action on the aging of my body, discipline, doing something challenging, doing something fun.
Losing Weight: Sparkpeople.com has helped a lot on this. I still would like to lose about ten pounds (I'm down fifteen from my peak). I was most pleased with my body when I was 126 pounds, but I had a LOT less muscle then, and muscle is heavier than fat, so it's not realistic. I was satisfied with my body when I was 137 pounds. I'm now 149.5, and I hope to get down to 140. It is really, really hard to lose that last ten pounds. I'm living a very active lifestyle, and I'm doing a little better than I was doing even six months ago in watching my portion sizes. Still, although I am trying hard, I am not sure I will be able to reach that number.
Getting Healthier in General: I'm doing a lot toward working toward this goal. Again, Sparkpeople.com has really helped. I have "streaks" going: how many weeks in a row can I bicycle at least three times a week? How many weeks in a row can I pack a homemade lunch at least four times a week? How many weeks in a row can I take my multivitamin every day? Karate helps, as does the bicycling. I am not doing enough weightlifting, and I'm a little frustrated that I'm not improving my cardio stamina or flexibility as much as I would like. The 100 pushups challenge should help me tone and gain strangth. I am constantly trying to eat healthier, too. It's too bad that my family isn't very cooperative in eating the healthy meals I try to cook.
I have been pushing Rob on this goal a bit, too, because he has said he wants to lose weight and I think he really needs it. He doesn't want to lose it enough, however, to willingly give up several bad habits: drinking Coke, eating leftovers off the girls plates, and snacking on cheddar cheese at night. *Sigh* I'm trying to be encouraging without being a nag. It's a delicate balancing act.
Other
Spiritual: I'm on the church council, so I've been thinking about this. I feel I have been rather vague about developing myself in this area.
Emotional (Avoiding depression): Continue the walks on the Stone Arch Bridge to give me exercise/sunlight. Keep taking meds. Keep checking in with my support team. Play iPod playlists (Holy Tree playlist, Winter playlist, Hope playlist) as needed.
Parenting: Keep tabs on the girls. Get them to appointments, karate lessons. Continue to work on the fostering independence project, especially with Fiona (college in three years! Oy!) Keep checking on how their school work is going.
Secret project: This is one I'm keeping very close to my vest and I'm not ready to talk about it yet. Um, I'm taking a small step each day, trying to develop/work myself up to the point that I can work toward something that is important to me. Sorry if that's vague, but it's the most I can say right now. So far, I'm doing the goal every day, although I don't have much to show for it yet. Right now, it is just the practice (rather than the result) which is important. I'm trying to be patient with myself
What are some of your goals?
I like setting goals for myself. I respond well to them, for the most part. Sometimes, however, I get frustrated with myself because I am not making the progress I would like. Sometimes that is due to the goal I have in mind isn't very realistic; sometimes I sabotage myself--mildly. Sometimes real life gets in the way (i.e., Rob's job loss has been a set back in a number of different areas).
Money
Get out of debt: I became extremely unhappy with our debt level when Rob was still at CompUSA, and we are trying to get out. Obviously, two job losses have not helped, but we are trying. For one thing, I have said no more credit cards and we are really doing our best to stick to this resolve. Other things we've done: developed the arrangement with sensei so that we're bartering cleaning/taking pictures at the belt tests so that we don't have to pay tuition (the karate scholarship, of course, helped enormously too; shout out thank you! to the donor). I'm riding my bike to save money on transportation costs. I'm using the Internet aggressively to cut shopping costs, i.e., always Googling for coupon codes when I buy anything on line, using the Payment Protectr program, etc. And obviously, doing our best to cut all the little costs: making coffee instead of buying it, cutting back on entertainment and dining out costs, etc.
Build an emergency fund: It's interesting, balancing this goal with the get out of debt goal. Having an emergency fund is a great way to keep yourself from spending on credit cards, since a lot of people resort to them when life's little emergencies happen. Like (to pick a TOTALLY random example) totaling your car. We decided to put $1000 in the fund to start and then concentrate on debt reduction. This all changed when Rob lost his job (the second time) because suddenly, that emergency fund was (partially) what we had to live on when the unemployment runs out. Obviously, hope for the best, plan for the worst. So now our strategy is, save every penny we can, continue making all (minimum) debt payments (which we are doing) and shove all the rest into savings, so that we can tide ourselves over as long as possible. When Rob gets a job again, I hope to slowly build this fund up to be about three to six months of our living expenses, while continually to aggressively pay down debt.
Saving for retirement: Good news: I started earlier than some Americans have, and I'm doing better than the national average.
Bad news: I'm still not saving enough to fund the kind of retirement I want. Rob, on the other hand, started much too late and his employment history hasn't helped. He has waaaaaayyyyy too little saved and says he doesn't think he can ever retire. And with the job losses, I've had to cut back my own contribution. I hope to jack up my contribution rate again once he finds work, and I will urge him to increase his rate, too. I probably will have to work until at least the age of seventy, and find part time work after that. I definitely worry that I haven't saved enough. We should get long-term care insurance, too, at least for Rob, who is over the age of fifty, but we can't afford it now. Hopefully that is another thing we can address when he gets a job.
Saving for college: Good news: I've been saving since Fiona was two and Delia was born. Bad news: not enough. Not enough for even one year of tuition, which is infuriating and scary. And I stopped altogether when Rob lost his job the first time. I'm super worried about this. I want the girls to be able to go to college, and to come out of it without being saddled with crippling debt. I plan to search VERY AGGRESSIVELY for scholarships. I plan to start looking into this in the coming year. Getting our general debt load lower would help us on this goal, too, since it would open up our cash flow.
European vacation: We talked about this last summer, about going as a family before the girls went off to college. Unfortunately, the job losses have torpedoed any progress we could make toward this goal. It's a pity; I LOVED my time in Europe as a college student, and I really want the girls to experience it, too. Rob hasn't been to Europe and doesn't feel nearly as strongly about it as me. I think the fact that we also want to go to some of the upcoming Harry Potter conferences (Azkatraz, and the one at Universal the year after that) will be a conflicting goal. Lord, we're not made of money.
Fitness
Black Belt: This is a very long-term goal; I probably have another year and a half to two years to go. It's great to be able to share it with my daughters, and I feel good that I'm modeling good behavior to them by working on it. Working toward this goal means keeping fit, being able to defend myself, keeping strong, feeling confident, fighting a rear guard action on the aging of my body, discipline, doing something challenging, doing something fun.
Losing Weight: Sparkpeople.com has helped a lot on this. I still would like to lose about ten pounds (I'm down fifteen from my peak). I was most pleased with my body when I was 126 pounds, but I had a LOT less muscle then, and muscle is heavier than fat, so it's not realistic. I was satisfied with my body when I was 137 pounds. I'm now 149.5, and I hope to get down to 140. It is really, really hard to lose that last ten pounds. I'm living a very active lifestyle, and I'm doing a little better than I was doing even six months ago in watching my portion sizes. Still, although I am trying hard, I am not sure I will be able to reach that number.
Getting Healthier in General: I'm doing a lot toward working toward this goal. Again, Sparkpeople.com has really helped. I have "streaks" going: how many weeks in a row can I bicycle at least three times a week? How many weeks in a row can I pack a homemade lunch at least four times a week? How many weeks in a row can I take my multivitamin every day? Karate helps, as does the bicycling. I am not doing enough weightlifting, and I'm a little frustrated that I'm not improving my cardio stamina or flexibility as much as I would like. The 100 pushups challenge should help me tone and gain strangth. I am constantly trying to eat healthier, too. It's too bad that my family isn't very cooperative in eating the healthy meals I try to cook.
I have been pushing Rob on this goal a bit, too, because he has said he wants to lose weight and I think he really needs it. He doesn't want to lose it enough, however, to willingly give up several bad habits: drinking Coke, eating leftovers off the girls plates, and snacking on cheddar cheese at night. *Sigh* I'm trying to be encouraging without being a nag. It's a delicate balancing act.
Other
Spiritual: I'm on the church council, so I've been thinking about this. I feel I have been rather vague about developing myself in this area.
Emotional (Avoiding depression): Continue the walks on the Stone Arch Bridge to give me exercise/sunlight. Keep taking meds. Keep checking in with my support team. Play iPod playlists (Holy Tree playlist, Winter playlist, Hope playlist) as needed.
Parenting: Keep tabs on the girls. Get them to appointments, karate lessons. Continue to work on the fostering independence project, especially with Fiona (college in three years! Oy!) Keep checking on how their school work is going.
Secret project: This is one I'm keeping very close to my vest and I'm not ready to talk about it yet. Um, I'm taking a small step each day, trying to develop/work myself up to the point that I can work toward something that is important to me. Sorry if that's vague, but it's the most I can say right now. So far, I'm doing the goal every day, although I don't have much to show for it yet. Right now, it is just the practice (rather than the result) which is important. I'm trying to be patient with myself
What are some of your goals?
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thanks for the notes on sparkpeople & streaks - i added some goals. i would love to 'friend' you on sparkpeople; would you tell me your username?
GOOD LUCK.
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I like your fostering independence project. I'm doing something very similar with my girls, after realizing this summer that Sorcha is in her first semester of junior college/last semester of high school (she's doing them concurrently and graduating a semester early) and has NO real life skills. I've made her navigate college enrollment pretty much on her own the last few days, but tagged along as a pair of training wheels (and a checkbook) just in case she had an emergency.
We are pushing the "take college classes in HS concurrently, and consider a transfer guarantee program through a local community college to save money on the first 2 years/Gen Ed coursework." thing pretty hard with my girls as we have not saved enough for tuition either.
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I'm especially happy to hear about your secret project--I've got one of those too.:-D
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I guess my main goals can be categories into "Future", "Spirituality" and "Health".
Future: Selling our apartment and buying a house. Hopefully this will lead to Lars accepting that I'll get off the pill. I've already threatened him that I'll go off it at the very latest on my 30th birthday (October 6th, 2009) and he didn't run away screaming, so I take that as a positive sign. Finding a job that I'll feel comfortable doing while being a parent, because my current job ain't it. I enjoy it now, but the work hours are too irregular to subject a child to it.
Spirituality: Work on "praying unceasingly". I'm better at this than I was 2 years ago, but there's still SO much room for improvement.
Health: Become healthier. I've discovered I eat far too many snacks and too large portion sizes. I'm not overweight yet, but fear it's just a matter of time if I don't start watching myself. But it's more a matter of generally becoming healthier than loosing weight specifically. I'm hoping the 100 pushup challenge will help me to get into the habit of working out every/every second day, so I'll continue to do so even after the 6 weeks are over.
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- Get on a national taekwondo team (either the national team or the national collegiate team)
- Establish a $5,000 personal emergency fund
- Learn to speak Spanish
I have a good start on the first two, but I have no idea when or how I'll do the third. I guess I ought to start shopping for "teach yourself" books, because there's no way I'm going to be able to take a class, and I do have a lot of friends who are fluent... Last year's goal was to lose 30 pounds, which I did, and which has made such a difference in my quality of life that I can't even tell you. I use MyFoodDiary.com, which is a pay service (but everyone who does taekwondo with me uses it, which is worth it for me) - sounds like SparkPeople is similar.
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What I'm saying is - if nothing else, in future Fiona and Delia (and I!) will remember the importance of that emergency fund, and I'm sure that they're going to be very responsible with their money when they're older - since they've seen what can happen, just by luck, to throw your life into turmoil.
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There's a new social networking style site focused on language learning: one of my goals is to get my (rather poorly taught) high school French back up to reasonable fluency again, because I'd like to go to France with friends sometime in the next few years, and I know I'll have more fun if I get more fluent.
The site's http://www.livemocha.com/ - it's free, and helps connect you to native speakers of the language, but also has a bunch of exercises/lessons/etc. I haven't played with it a lot, but the stuff I've seen has been well designed.
The BBC language websites also have some fairly cool language courses.
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As far as postsecondary stuff goes, the undergrad program I work for in NYC is a free ride for those accepted, in some instances including housing. Everyone graduates debt-free, and they get all sorts of added benefits while they're here (extra money for research/study abroad, etc). I'm willing to bet that there are programs like it in other parts of the country as well. There are ways to make it happen.
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(Anonymous) 2008-08-19 10:49 pm (UTC)(link)no subject
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1.) Apply for law school, and get in somewhere.
2.) Keep a regular schedule with work so I don't go crazy. (Probably not a problem, since I have a full-time job.)
3.) Keep going to yoga, because it's also good for not going crazy.
4.) Get through this wedding mess without killing someone (esp. the fiance).
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Exercise: Running a 5K was a goal for a long time, but I can do that now, so I'm thinking ... maybe run 5 miles someday? I just did 4 for the first time 10 days ago, but that's not going to be a regular occurrence for awhile. I would like to have a stronger core and upper arms, but I haven't wanted it enough to actually take action until I saw your link to 100 Pushups so I'm hoping that goal can be attained.
Italy: I'd like to go for my 40th birthday (3 more years). I've always wanted to go. I'm not even entirely sure why, but everyone who's been there has said it's fantastic. It would be better if I could eat a wider variety of food by then but ... we'll see. In general, we'd love to take the girls traveling, but that gets trickier as school schedules rear their heads.
Work: Successfully hold down a job for more than a year or two, and like it reasonably well. Any job.
Parenting: Helping the girls become confident, self-sufficient, and willing to put forth their best effort in whatever they do.
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I work towards goal, but don't take it so structurely. Obviously, that works sometimes, sometimes it doesn't.
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I'm pretty happy with where I am right now, in relation to goals. The major ones now would be: 1)continue to maintain at least six months of living expenses in an emergency fund while continuing to build long-term savings; 2) try to move forward at work, in the sense of building skills and mastering more and harder challenges and also goof off less (like, er, now) 3) train hard enough that I don't embarass myself competing in World Masters Games in Sydney next year. 1) is frankly easy for right now, while living as an expat, but still be challenging if we take time off after this contract. 3) is tricky, especially when I can't get on the water much here and it's hotter than hell when I can. However, I've started a marathon training program (mostly on the erg, sigh) to improve my aerobic base, and since rowing is a power sport I'm seeing strength gains already. 2) is the hard one right now.
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Some of my goals:
Pay off credit cards!!! (this has been made extra difficult by the $2,000 I've needed to pay in car repairs and lots of moving costs.)
Unpack boxes
Lose 10-15lbs that I put on over the past year. This should be accomplished by exercising and eating better, as I put on the weight by ceasing to exercise and eat right.
Get better at managing my school work. I've gotten worse and worse about procrastinating.