Oh, my god

minnehaha B, you have given me a hard time about not letting the girls off the block.

This happened at the park quite close to my house. And we've always considered it a pretty good neighborhood, too.

Now do you understand why parents get scared?

Shit. That poor kid. He's Delia's age. Those poor parents.

I am really distressed over this.

EDITED TO ADD: kiramartin JUST CALLED TO REPORT THE KID HAS BEEN FOUND. HE WAS AN OVERNIGHT RUNAWAY, WHO HAS RETURNED TO HIS HOME.

(Personally, if I were his mom, I'd probably be tempted to just about kill him.)

Delia's reaction to today's news story

"Mom, I'm not that stupid."

I should jolly well hope not.

A general response to comments on an earlier entry

This entry, I fear, is going to be rather impolite. Sorry. You have been warned.

I have attempted to draft replies to several comments left on the post I made earlier today about the false alarm of a child abduction in my neighborhood. Uncharacteristically, I realized that I just couldn't because I was getting much too angry. I thought about this most of the evening, wondering at my own reaction. The comments I was reacting to so strongly were made by people I really respect, including parents with more years of experience than me.

Look. As I told cakmpls I am perfectly well aware that stranger abduction is rare. But I am not willing to accept the judgment that my neighbors and I were "needlessly" upset, as if we don't have the intelligence and judgment to assess and accurately evaluate real-life risks. I truly believe that I was reasonably and responsibly upset. What some of you don't seem to be quite grasping is that this was personal for me. I do not make it a habit to watch television news just to scare myself with stories about awful things happening to children. In fact, I do not watch television news at all. I learned about this because a neighbor called me personally to tell me about something that was happening in my own neighborhood, at a park very close to my home that my girls go to all the time. Would I have preferred that she not call me, as if it was something I didn't need to know? Hell no. I was not merely reacting to a media-created amorphous threat Somewhere Out There. I was reacting to a call from a neighbor. This was MY park. This kid was the exact age of MY child. This kid went to MY neighborhood school. This kid was actually acquainted with MY neighbor. And from the information I was given (which turned out to be an error), an Amber Alert had been issued, meaning that an abduction was believed to have occurred.

Ladies and gentlemen, I want no more well-meaning comments directed at me explaining (as if I'm dense, as if I didn't know) that the risk of stranger abduction and harm is so low that I needn't worry about it. What I finally realized tonight was that the reason that these comments (which I understand were well-intended and meant to be reassuring) upset me so much is because both Rob and I have had childhood friends who were raped and murdered. By strangers, goddammit. The one I knew was the little sister of one of my best friends growing up. She was grown up when it happened to her--someone raped her and threw her over a cliff to die hundreds of feet below. But for Rob, it was a little girl, the first little girl he ever had a crush on. She was, I don't remember, ten or twelve or so when it happened. Her body was dumped along a lonely stretch of road like garbage. Neither murderer was ever caught.

From Rob's and my own personal experience, this threat is not just theoretical, not just a concern of scaredy-cat cowards or those easily cowed and manipulated by the media. To both of us, remembering Andrea and Ginny, it is searingly real. So forgive me if I reject well-meaning pats on the head. Forgive me if I seem rather defensive and emotional about this.

I think I have a right to be.

I'm making this a general post, because I don't want to be rude to anyone personally.