Fever

Delia's fever has been bouncing around today, between 100 degrees and 104 plus. Tylenol helps drop it down, but then it will creep back up again. I took her to the clinic and had her tested. She doesn't have strep.

I sat in her room and kept her company while she dozed for awhile today. Her face was red and her eyes heavy-lidded. When I came over and took her hand, the heat pouring from her fingers was startling. Sprawled there under her bunny blanket, holding her teddy, she watched me, as if to make sure I wouldn't leave, and then her eyelids would lower and she would sleep for awhile.

She sleeps badly at night when she's feverish, stirring once every couple hours or so with night fears. When she whimpers, I go to her and run my hand lightly over her back, and then she'll be quiet again for a while.

I hope she is better soon. But although it seems odd, I must admit it. There is something that is satisfying for me, deep down, about nursing a child who is sick. She wants me, only me. She opens her eyes just to check that I am there. She wants nothing else. Not food, not water--I have to push fluids on her. Not entertainment, not music. Only me.

I am glad to be there for her.