Apr. 14th, 2007

pegkerr: (Peg and Kij color)
We got up at what is an absurdly early time for Kij, but then I'm still on Minneapolis time. After breakfast, we lounged around for awhile. Kij made a quiche (FILLED with onions, hurrah) and a strawberry-rhubarb pie and I borrowed her copy of Naomi Novik's His Majesty's Dragon and read about half of it. I am SO getting my own copy, and then going on to all the sequels.

Then, after a fortifying stop for coffee and scones, we headed for the Hiram M. Chittenden Locks, a place as important to Kij as the Stone Arch Bridge is to me. We watched a boat pass through the locks and then went down to the building that has a glassed in viewing area overlooking the fish ladder, where the salmon pass by the dam to go upriver to spawn. We watched for salmon--the steelhead are supposedly spawning now, but we didn't see any. We didn't mind, however, but simply stared for a long time at the water, mesmerized at the hypnotizing patterns made by the bubbles, rising up through the swift current, glittering like mica, as we talked quietly.

Then we head for The Stone Gardens, Kij's rock-climbing gym. Kij has been intensely into climbing for a year now (and as I've noted before, it has re-made her body amazingly) and I knew she was eager to show it to me, just as I was eager to experience something so important to her. I've never boulder-climbed before, and have only done rope-climbing once, and hardly distinguished myself. I was almost absurdly worried that I would shame myself before her by doing poorly, because the one time I'd rope-climbed, I was only good for about twenty minutes. She offered me the rope climbing, but it was the bouldering I wanted to try. After two or three tries to find shoes that fit (my feet are much bigger than hers), we went to a back wall which offered some beginning routes.

And I liked it. I loved it. I remembered from my last experience how much the forearms can hurt when you try it cold, but I really didn't have nearly as much trouble this time. Perhaps I am just so much stronger and more in shape. I managed a VB and then a V1. Kij and I alternated climbs, so she showed me how to handle each route. She is a joy to watch; I was just in awe. She said that it wasn't one of her best climbing days, which is certainly understandable since she was mostly concentrating on babysitting me, but I loved watching her working her way across the wall, mentally planning her next move as she shifted weight, heaved herself up and reached.

Then we switched to traversing, and that really got me excited and interested. The object is to work yourself sideways across the wall, following the hand-holds all marked with one particular color of tape, but choosing any of the footholds you please. I liked it because it wasn't very far off the ground, so I never got scared, but I could try trickier stuff like going around corners. We climbed for almost an hour, and as I got more tired, I was only able to manage five or six transfers of weight before I would miss a handhold or my foot would dislodge off a foothold. "I want to try one more route and finish it before we leave," I said, a little ruefully, wiping more chalk on my hands.

"Here's a nice little VB route, why don't you try that?" She swarmed up the wall and then jumped down again, and I gave it a try.

I was tired. Perhaps there was something mental that was happening because I knew this would be my last route and I both was at the end of my physical strength and determined to master it. I failed the first time, and Kij showed me again.

I made my way through the beginning of the route rather quickly and then paused on the second to last point of the route. The last handhold was just beyond my reach. "Shift to that foothold on your right," Kij told me. "You can do it--or not," she added quickly. Maybe she didn't want me to feel badly about myself if I failed. "You can jump down from there."

"I am GOING to do this," I said through gritted teeth. "I will NOT give up."

Kij laughed. "You're the most stubborn girl I know."

What happened next felt most peculiar. Time slowed, and I was suddenly conscious of the smell of my own sweat, with a musky tang that seemed a little different. Was it fear? I wanted that handhold, I wanted that handhold, I wanted it. I breathed hard like a bellows and then roared, hooked my knee over a projection, a move I hadn't tried before, and lunged for the handhold, using a leg strength I didn't know I had. My fingers seized the top projection and Kij broke out in a cheer. "You did it!"

"I did it!" I looked around a little frantically for the way down--my muscles were at their limit, I was higher than I liked, and for the first time I felt afraid. I managed to put my feet on two footholds on my way down before I fell. I fell on my feet and then slammed down on my back--unhurt--and looked up at the ceiling and began laughing in wild exhilaration. I get this. I get why she loves this. I was afraid I wouldn't understand this, but I do. I do.

I was so proud of myself. And so overjoyed that I understand.

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