I've been at our church for twenty years now (half my life!) but my husband grew up there and my mother-in-law has been a member for 44 years, so I'm somewhat privy to some info about church history. Back in the seventies the church went through a period when the congregation was split concerning the merits of the pastor and a large contingent were basically trying to get him to leave. He did end up leaving but rather than just allowing the congregation to hire an interim and put together a PNC (pastoral nominating committee) to look for a new person the Presbytery assigned as interim a young man whose specialty was helping heal rifts in congregations that had been undergoing upheaval. His presence was very helpful and led to the congregation being able to come together as a cohesive whole to search for a new pastor, the man who, with his wife, co-officiated at our wedding.
I don't know whether the ELCA has folks who come into troubled congregations to help with this sort of situation, but it couldn't hurt to look into it. Your local bishop may not even be aware that there has been a problem in your church. If there is such a person who can act as a mediator or someone who can spearhead a self-study of the congregation you wouldn't even have to take on that work yourself, although you would of course participate as a member in trying to work toward a happier and more fulfilling house of worship.
As for leaving the congregation--although that can be very hard, in the long run I think that whether you are with others you consider to be kindred spirits can play a huge role in whether you feel comfortable in your house of worship, and if all of the people who made you feel that way have left, you may start to feel like going to church is just another chore and an obligation, rather than a place that helps you to recharge emotionally and spiritually. In the long run you need to weight the reasons why you go to church in general (ideal reasons) with the reasons why you go to THAT church specifically. If it is not meeting your spiritual needs and causing you more emotional trouble than it's healing in you, I think the choice is clear.
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Date: 2004-09-18 11:52 am (UTC)I don't know whether the ELCA has folks who come into troubled congregations to help with this sort of situation, but it couldn't hurt to look into it. Your local bishop may not even be aware that there has been a problem in your church. If there is such a person who can act as a mediator or someone who can spearhead a self-study of the congregation you wouldn't even have to take on that work yourself, although you would of course participate as a member in trying to work toward a happier and more fulfilling house of worship.
As for leaving the congregation--although that can be very hard, in the long run I think that whether you are with others you consider to be kindred spirits can play a huge role in whether you feel comfortable in your house of worship, and if all of the people who made you feel that way have left, you may start to feel like going to church is just another chore and an obligation, rather than a place that helps you to recharge emotionally and spiritually. In the long run you need to weight the reasons why you go to church in general (ideal reasons) with the reasons why you go to THAT church specifically. If it is not meeting your spiritual needs and causing you more emotional trouble than it's healing in you, I think the choice is clear.