Anyone else out there in my situation?

[pegkerr]

I am curious: does anyone know of any other sf/fantasy working novelists who are also holding down a full-time job AND mothering young children, say, elementary school age? I know a lot of writers who are doing two of the three jobs, but not all three. Would be esp. interested to learn of others on LJ.

Comments

[cmpriest.livejournal.com]

well, you seem to have found me -- and though i do hold down a full-time job, i'm parent to nothing more complex or time-demanding than a fat black cat. ;-)

hello, by the way, and welcome to my LJ.
i'm always interested in finding other writers here online.

[pegkerr.livejournal.com]

Hi! I'm glad to have found your journal and look forward to getting to know you better. Other working writers on my friends list include kijjohnson, docbrite, sleigh, papersky, pameladean, blackholly, msagara, 1crowdedhour, naomikritzer, sartorias, desayunoencama, elizabethbear, matociquala, nihilistic_kid, oldmotherchaos, stephdray, writergrl--and, um, I'm sure there are a bunch of others that have slipped my mind! Those are mostly sf/fantasy writers; I have others who are nonfiction writers.

[cmpriest.livejournal.com]

yup -- and more than a couple of those guys are on my own friends list. you may also want to shout out to eugie and william_mize ... and probably a bunch more, but i just got to work, and it's friday, and my brain isn't exactly in fifth gear at the moment ;-)

[msagara.livejournal.com]

I have two elementary age boys, work out of the house 3 days a week, write -- so, no. I'm actually coming up short the minute I try to think of anyone else who has both full-time job and children.

sharing your pain

[kimwinters.livejournal.com]

Hey there, Peg. I've been lurking online for some time, feeling your pain, and identifying with your struggles to write when life conspires. If it helps at all, know that I wrestle with these issues daily.

Here's my current situation: I'm a full-time student these days (pursuing that degree I was considering way back when--the MFA in Writing for Children from Vermont College--and working on my YA novel as the creative portion of my degree). The program's been JUST what I needed to reclaim my life and writing self after we nearly lost our middle daughter Elena three years ago. But I tell you what, while the program's been a lifesaver, keeping writing a full-time priority has not been easy.

Phil and I parent three active girls, one a junior in high school, one in sixth grade, one in third grade. While the oldest is sailing through school, the younger two have learning disabilities requiring MUCH advocating on the school front, and significant, one-on-one homework help at home. One of the two, my miracle girl Elena (the sixth grader), requires one-to-one assistance with the simplest of tasks, round-the-clock meds, and twice weekly therapy sessions. Plus, since her immune system is now comprised after her illness, she gets sick easily, often actively sick for days at a time. (One of the biggest challenges I faced last year was how much time she was sick. She missed more than 25 percent of the school year.)

Since I'm pursuing the bulk of my master's from home, the majority of Elena's care falls to me. This means writing on little or no sleep during those weeks she's sick. This means forcing a connection with my characters when they don't want to connect. This means turning away from my current work in progress to shorter projects when I'm unable to wrestle my brain around a complete book.

Some days (mostly on the days Elena's actively sick and I haven't slept long enough to dream), I truly believe I'll never form another coherent sentence again. Other days, the process flows and I write for hours thinking only a few minutes have passed.

The other thing is that I've learned to work while the kids do their own thing in the other room. And the girls have learned not to interrupt me unless someone's bleeding or the house is on fire. Doesn't always work, but it does help immensely with getting into and staying with the flow.

Kim

[blackholly.livejournal.com]

I'm in Ohio right now, on tour, actually writing Valiant in the hotel room at night after doing interviews and trunk shows and signings during the days. The book is due in about a month and it is just not done. Although I can't help in terms of coping stuff, I can at least sympathize with being overbooked. My brain feels like it is stuffed full of wool, I hate my prose and I want to scream. There are so many things I want to do better in this book that I am terrified I am already doomed to doing worse.

will ask around

[earthquake1906.livejournal.com]

Greetings! You ask a good question...I will ask around the Readercon (http://www.readercon.org/) community (an imaginative literature convention that you are cordially invited to attend!! - having heard you at Nimbus I know you are so good on panels - but I digress). No one with your exact workload jumps to mind. I do know that childcare has become a huge issue for many sf & fantasy conventions ...

Alice Walker (a fiction writer whose work has some fantastic elements) has written feelingly about what it's like to be a writer and mom. But she only had one child at the time. And even then, the only time I ever spoke with her (to ask her to be on a panel, as it happens :) ) she said, "I'm going to have to say to you what Sojourner Truth once said: 'I am tired for the foreseeable future.'"

Anyway: lots of moral support from me as well as the others on your list! This year I've been helping take care of ONE 11-year old (who already has 2 parents, I'm just helping) and all I can say is those of us who don't have kids very likely HAVE NO IDEA...

Re: sharing your pain

[pegkerr.livejournal.com]

Kim: I'm glad you replied; it's always so good to hear from you! Please chime in more often. And glad to hear that you are working in a degree program that allows you to refocus on writing. Am sorry that Elena's health problems have been so difficult.

Eeven if you don't like to post in your own livejournal (although I sure wish you would!) I'd like to keep abreast of your progress. E-mail me sometime, if you like, to let me know about the book you're working on.