I do get that you are tired of having to justify yourself.
I don't think a community called Parenting or Clutter or Workshare would have required any less self-justification, because, in my experience, any time at all that one puts up a necessarily-edited version of a situation, people will fill in the blanks using their own particular blinders, and you will get comments that seem to you, in your particular situation, ignorant, judgemental, and less than useful. And somebody might even, out of a similar situation, have started a community called Bad Parents or something, I don't know, but I don't think the rhetoric around it -- not specifically yours, I'm not really talking about anything you've said -- would have been of the same sort.
That is, I don't think your experience has to do with feminism, I think it has to do with the nature of an open community where people come for advice to strangers or near-strangers.
But the mix will be different, and maybe whatever clueless and ignorant remarks you get in the new place won't poke your bruises in the same way. That would be a win.
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Date: 2005-12-02 05:33 pm (UTC)I don't think a community called Parenting or Clutter or Workshare would have required any less self-justification, because, in my experience, any time at all that one puts up a necessarily-edited version of a situation, people will fill in the blanks using their own particular blinders, and you will get comments that seem to you, in your particular situation, ignorant, judgemental, and less than useful. And somebody might even, out of a similar situation, have started a community called Bad Parents or something, I don't know, but I don't think the rhetoric around it -- not specifically yours, I'm not really talking about anything you've said -- would have been of the same sort.
That is, I don't think your experience has to do with feminism, I think it has to do with the nature of an open community where people come for advice to strangers or near-strangers.
But the mix will be different, and maybe whatever clueless and ignorant remarks you get in the new place won't poke your bruises in the same way. That would be a win.
P.