But not enough that Snape wasn't guilty of murder.
I do not hold Snape guilty of "murder" in Dumbledore's death. "Strategic euthanasia of a terminally ill man" is closer to the mark -- and when it came to the deed, Snape, as we recall, clearly hesitated, and it was Dumbledore who insisted he carry through with it. It was all planned as part of the ultimate war against Voldemort -- and if you call Snape's action murder, then every act of killing in that war, by every side, was murder.
I think the part of the book that broke my heart the absolute most was Snape telling Harry, "Look at me" as he lay dying, so that Lily's eyes would be the very last thing that he would see.
I think the impulse behind Snape's last words is even deeper and more heart-rending: While I find it very likely that there was a strong element of "I want to see Lily's eyes one more time," above all else, what Snape was saying was just what he said: LOOK AT ME.
Look at me. See me. Truly see me.
It is a cry of the heart from one who spent almost all of his adult life in isolation, in hiding, in presenting a persona to the world that masked anything that would risk the mission to defeat Voldemort. It is the final cry of a profoundly lonely soul for human connection, at the last.
And, I think, despite his sardonic words to Dumbledore -- how many tender hearts are covered by sardonic words?! -- Snape did bear some measure of, well, I don't know if "affection" is the right word, exactly, but yes, in spite of himself he had come to appreciate and care for Harry as the closest thing he would ever have had to a son. Of course he would say it was only because of Lily -- but there were hints in past books that suggested genuine concern for Harry's welfare, for his own sake.
Snape was someone who was capable of feeling deeply but damned lousy at expressing that side of himself -- even when he wanted to, which often he didn't, and more often he couldn't.
Ack. My heart wrenched for the man. He did the best he could, and was a better man than he appeared.
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Snape is even more poignant than that...
Date: 2007-07-23 11:50 am (UTC)I do not hold Snape guilty of "murder" in Dumbledore's death. "Strategic euthanasia of a terminally ill man" is closer to the mark -- and when it came to the deed, Snape, as we recall, clearly hesitated, and it was Dumbledore who insisted he carry through with it. It was all planned as part of the ultimate war against Voldemort -- and if you call Snape's action murder, then every act of killing in that war, by every side, was murder.
I think the part of the book that broke my heart the absolute most was Snape telling Harry, "Look at me" as he lay dying, so that Lily's eyes would be the very last thing that he would see.
I think the impulse behind Snape's last words is even deeper and more heart-rending: While I find it very likely that there was a strong element of "I want to see Lily's eyes one more time," above all else, what Snape was saying was just what he said: LOOK AT ME.
Look at me. See me. Truly see me.
It is a cry of the heart from one who spent almost all of his adult life in isolation, in hiding, in presenting a persona to the world that masked anything that would risk the mission to defeat Voldemort. It is the final cry of a profoundly lonely soul for human connection, at the last.
And, I think, despite his sardonic words to Dumbledore -- how many tender hearts are covered by sardonic words?! -- Snape did bear some measure of, well, I don't know if "affection" is the right word, exactly, but yes, in spite of himself he had come to appreciate and care for Harry as the closest thing he would ever have had to a son. Of course he would say it was only because of Lily -- but there were hints in past books that suggested genuine concern for Harry's welfare, for his own sake.
Snape was someone who was capable of feeling deeply but damned lousy at expressing that side of himself -- even when he wanted to, which often he didn't, and more often he couldn't.
Ack. My heart wrenched for the man. He did the best he could, and was a better man than he appeared.