Men and women

[pegkerr]

This made me laugh out loud. I saw it on somebody's Sparkpage over at Sparkpeople:

Five tips for a woman....

1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.
2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.
3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to you.
4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you.
5. It is important that these four men don't know each other.

Below that, she had:

Serenity prayer:

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I had to kill because they pissed me off.

Comments

[eeknight.livejournal.com]

That is cute. Reminds me of Russel Crowe's toast in Master and Commander:

"To our wives and our sweethearts. May they never meet."

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

In Mpls fandom it's a lot more likely to be, "To our wives and our sweethearts. May they finally manage to schedule that dinner we've been trying to plan for the last two months."

[redbird]

Indeed. (And yours all live in the same city.)

[dd-b.livejournal.com]

I'd never have had any idea what the name of the actor was who said it in the movie. It's a real period classic, though, so I suppose credit isn't particularly due to Patrick O'Brian for writing it into the book, either.

[hobbitbabe.livejournal.com]

That's actually one of the classic Royal Navy toasts - the Saturday night one. (The modern Canadian Navy uses "our families".)

[rachet.livejournal.com]

Aaaaaamen!

Reminded....

[markiv1111.livejournal.com]

I heard a disc jockey say once in between songs, "I've been in love with the same woman for 20 years. And if my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me."

Nate

[rysmiel.livejournal.com]

Reminds me of the story about the young vicar taking advice from the old vicar about how to hook people's attention at the start of a sermon, and the old vicar recommending as an example opening a sermon with the lines "Some of the best times of my life were spent in the arms of another man's wife. *dramatic pause* It was my own dear mother."

So the young vicar opts to give this a try, and stands up in front of his congregation, and says "Some of the best times of my life were spent in the arms of another man's wife." And gets a suitably shocked look for the congregation, and is flustered, and the pause hangs and hangs, and finally he says "Oh dear, I've forgotten who she was."

[mayakda.livejournal.com]

There's this, not as funny, but on the numerical theme:

The nine ages of man:
1. Not old enough to know better.
2. Old enough to know better.
3. Not old enough to know.
4. Old enough to know.
5. Not old enough.
6. Old enough.
7. Not Old.
8. Old.
9. Not.

[diatryma.livejournal.com]

In one of the Sweet Potato Queen books, the author says that every woman needs five men in her life: a man to fix things, a man to dance with, a man to pay for things, a man to talk to, and a man to have wonderful sex with. It is very rare to find all five in the same man, but one advantage is that four of the five can be gay.