Cooking for Ingrates Episode 35,148

[pegkerr]

Dinner tonight: taco pie.

Cook two cups of rice, mix with one beaten egg and some parmesan cheese, press into an oiled pie dish and bake in 350 oven for ten minutes. Fill with a mixture of ground beef mixed with taco seasonings, salsa, black beans and corn, bake in oven, topped with shredded cheddar cheese, until the cheese melts.

Side dish: winter squash. Hah, Peg, you never learn, do you, you stupid bitch.

Verdict: Rob ate the pie, asked for a second helping. He took one bite but otherwise snubbed the squash. Both Fiona and Delia refused their entire dinner. Delia was actually hypoglycemic because she'd just come from karate class, but she would not would not would not eat the pie because it had beans in it.

"Fine," I told her. "Then make yourself a piece of bread with peanut butter."

She spread the bread with peanut butter and then stared at it for ten minutes, her hands shaking, until I lost my temper. "Eat the damn bread. You're hypoglycemic, for God's sake, and you're just going to get worse until you choke something down. I don't care if you think you don't want it: eat the goddamned bread."

Whereupon she burst into tears and I left the dinner table.

And came up and did this entry.

I hate cooking for my ungrateful family.

The leftover pie and squash will be my lunch tomorrow.

Comments

[aome.livejournal.com]

The winter squash debacle reminds me of a recipe I tried recently, that I thought you might like as food-for-Peg. Halve an acorn squash lengthwise, and seed it. Cut off a tiny bit of the outer shell so it lies flat (without being all tippy), cut side up, on the baking dish. Mix together a bit of softened butter, honey and dijon mustard (I think it was something like 1Tbsp honey and butter, 1 tsp mustard for each whole squash, but I found that to be too much butter, so adjust to taste). Spread the honey/mustard/butter mixture over the well in each squash, bake in oven until done - very tasty as a side dish. For Peg, anyway. :)

Hope you can find a few choc chip morsels or a cup of cocoa or something, to help mend your (understandably) frayed nerves.

[pegkerr.livejournal.com]

I just this moment finished a banana, baked in the microwave with chocolate chips, topped with vanilla ice cream.

[lauzeta.livejournal.com]

Oh man. Kids these days. You have my sympathies.

[rachet.livejournal.com]

*frowns* I think it sounds delicious. Especially the squash.

If I was there, you'd have no leftovers.

[tassie-gal.livejournal.com]

Sounds yummy!

[kijjohnson.livejournal.com]

Yum! Good for you. Rob can get her to eat something.

You're not a stupid bitch. I love you, and I don't love either stupid people or bitches.

[satakieli.livejournal.com]

Sounds delicious. I shall have to try that.

[dichroic.livejournal.com]

Your kids may not like the taco pie, but I think it sounds awfully tasty, and less messy than normal tacos. (However, regular tacos or fajitas may work better for your family: put out rice, beans, beef, chopped lettuce, grated cheese, diced tomatoes and onions, and salsa in separate bowls. (Any or all of these are optional; you could also add sour cream or guacamole.) Provide hard taco shells or tortilla and let everyone make her own at table.

Two questions: when you say "oiled pie shell" do you just mean a pie dish, or a premade pie crust? (The former seems more likely but if I used the phrase "pie shell" I'd mean the latter.) Also, does the rice get really eggy or does the egg just help it stick together better?

[pegkerr.livejournal.com]

Oh! I meant a pie dish of course. I used a glass one. I'll correct the entry.

[penmage.livejournal.com]

I'm not a squash person, but that taco pie sounds unbelievably delicious. If I could think of a successful way to replace the meat or the cheese, I'd be all over that in a flash.

Funny story: my dad is a really, really picky eater. He is also macrobiotic, which makes cooking for him hard. He also claims that he hates all things squash, even if they only have a little bit of squash as an ingrediant. He claims he can taste it, like the princess and the pea.

One week a few years ago, my mom made squash latkes. I also do not generally like squash, but I tasted them, and they were really pretty good. So we made a pact, she and I, that we would not tell my father what was the main ingredient in those latkes.

He ate them, and loved them. He still loves them to this day, and still has no idea what is in them. I really think that if he found out, he'd suddenly stop liking them.

[pegkerr.livejournal.com]

Are you vegan? If not, you can use that crust for quiches, i.e., fill it with beaten eggs mixed with various vegetables.

I hate to say it

[dragonet2.livejournal.com]

but maybe you need to give Delia a loaf of bread, a jar of peanut butter and a spreading knife, and tell her if she wants something else she can eat what is set in front of her.

And ignore any protests to the alternative. Except maybe to force her to eat a slice of bread or drink a glass of orange juice if she is acting hypoglycemic.

My parents were pretty good about stuff because the had the 'test child' way before us and forced an eating incident that caused, urm, untoward results at the dinner table. But if we got adamant about it, that was the answer. "we've got bread, we've got peanut butter, you won't starve, suck it up."

Since I cook for all adults, I'd just go f-you, fix your own f-ing dinner if you're going to be so f-ing picky.

Re: I hate to say it

[pegkerr.livejournal.com]

Well, that's what I did, isn't it? Without the f-language.

But I was sure thinking it.

I said in a comment to kijjohnson's LJ tonight that I was thinking of drop-shipping my kids to Siberia.

[romancoat.livejournal.com]

It sounds fantastic to me. And I guess things are just different nowadays? When I was younger, the deal was that we had to eat whatever my mom placed on the table. If we didn't like it, we cook/make our own meal. I would've been in such big trouble if I'd refused the entire meal.

[pegkerr.livejournal.com]

If we didn't like it, we cook/make our own meal. Well, that's essentially what I told her to do.

[liadan-m.livejournal.com]

I think I may steal your taco pie recipe. Though my family would be confused since we have a version of our own- cooked hamburger and frozen corn mixed with taco seasoning, pour a layer of cornbread over it, bake for 45 min.

I am beginning to better understand your troubles. Samantha will not eat tomatoes or potatoes and those are two staple ingredients at my house. We've decided that any night where she refuses to eat what I've made her, she owes me 30 min of doing whatever I need done. It's worked well.

[msavi.livejournal.com]

Food is supposed to be a happy thing. I feel badly on your behalf when it isn't for you.

[brigidsblest.livejournal.com]

I would have loved having you as a mother. Peanut butter as an alternative to meals I didn't like?

I never got that choice, and that included some pretty awful 'experimental' meals, including tuna fish salad chow mein, chili mac quiche, and that old army favorite, sh*t on a shingle (but with the hamburger replaced with potted meat, and the gravy replaced with pickle relish). Ew.

Nonetheless, as bad as all those were, I still would have eaten them before letting my blood sugar get so low I passed out and had to be taken to the hospital (and I'm diabetic as an adult, so I'm achingly familiar with how bad low blood sugar can feel).

[morganmalfoy.livejournal.com]

I keep telling my mom to read your journal, because I feel like she would totally relate from when my sister and I were kids. She always tried so hard to make homemade, healthy, meals, which I never appreciated at the time. I don't think it was until college, or maybe even after, that I began to appreciate that, not because I had to cook for myself all of the sudden, but because it's just so tiring to work all day and cook something, and be on a budget, and then for it to go unappreciated. Hell, I only make things I like and it's sometimes not worth the effort. In fact, I'm going to e-mail her this post. You did all the right things, and I think you know that, but that doesn't make it less frustrating to have sullen kids, and especially to have one of your kids physically in need and to stubborn to take your help. And probably also frustrating that the things you love about your kids can make them total pains in the ass at times.

Edited to add: I e-mailed my mom and I was thinking of a header, and I remembered that in our dinner time arguments and complaints, my mom always said "Why can't you just say "Gee whiz, thanks mom, for giving us dinner????" Title: Gee Whiz, Thanks Mom.

[dreamshark.livejournal.com]

It sounds delicious. And one of your picky eaters (the grownup one) actually loved the main dish that you slaved over. One out of three ain't bad.

I must confess, I don't understand why you are so intent on cooking interesting food for kids who don't like anything except peanut butter sandwiches. Your girls are old enough to cook, and Rob should have plenty of time for cooking while he's out of work. Why not take turns making dinner? On your nights to cook, make food you love and save the leftovers (of which there should be plenty!) for lunches later in the week. If everybody else eats bananas and peanut butter on those nights, so what? More for you!

[cathellisen.livejournal.com]

Wow, I think the pie sounds scrummy. And I love wintersquash, just dot of butter and a sprinkle of sugar, and I probably would have eaten the whole lot.

Fiona sounds like my one daughter, who is five, so I'm hoping we can beat it out of her discourage this tendency.

Seriously though, I understand your frustration, it's a truly horrible feeling when you've worked hard to make a nice meal for your family, and then people say, without even tasting it, "I'm not eating that."

I've told Noa she can choose two things she doesn't eat - peas, tomatoes, whatever, and I won't make her eat those, but the rest she eats. It has to be the same two things, because everyone has something they just can't stomach (tripe, for me - ha, pun).

Things are getting a little better, but it's an uphill battle, so you have my sympathy.

[loup_noir]

I think that sounds fabulous. I'd eat it...but then I'll eat almost anything except for bacon (which I'm allergic to) and most beef. Winter squash, in most of its variations, is great.

You really are a very good mother and wife.

"I hate cooking for my ungrateful family."

[mizzlaurajean.livejournal.com]

Then why do it?

Re: "I hate cooking for my ungrateful family."

[pegkerr.livejournal.com]

Because I love cooking (or I would if anyone would appreciate it). Because Rob, comparatively is a much worse cook than me, and if it were up to him, they would eat very badly indeed. Because these are the prime years for them to lay down the calcium in their bones that they will need when they are old to prevent hip fractures. Because Delia is rather underweight and I'm worried about her growing properly. Because if they don't get breakfast, they do badly in school. Because when Delia becomes hypoglycemic her mood becomes so monstrous that the whole family suffers for it. Because if no one tries to teach them how to eat right, how will they learn about how to read labels, and what foods have the vitamins they need, and why they should eat multigrains and avoid trans fats?

Because I'm genetically programmed to look after them and nurture them and care for them.

Because I love them, and preparing food for them is a way of showing love. Which, I suppose, is why it bothers me so much when they refuse it.

[ann-totusek.livejournal.com]

Same problem here. Picky teen, vegetarian AND picky husband, 7 year old that follows slavishly in daddy's footsteps. I've quit cooking- the teen can cook for her own darn self, and since daddy has encouraged the 7-year old's food fussiness, he can cook for the little one too. I got sick and tired of cooking healthy meals that no one would eat.

[pazlazuli.livejournal.com]

Yay for you! Laying down the law I mean - after a few more times, she will probably end up eating the PB bread without the tantrum. (Yes, I'm a tough love mom *grin*) In the meantime, your recipe sounds wonderful and I am going to try it this weekend. And since I love squash, I would love to know how you fixed it (I'm sure it was wonderful).

[pegkerr.livejournal.com]

Oh, I was in a hurry, so I just steamed it in the microwave. Sliced it up into wedges, threw it into a glass bowl, put in about two inches of water, covered the bowl with Saran wrap and microwaved it for about eight minutes. Sometimes, I'll microwave it in orange juice and add brown sugar, but this particular squash was sweet enough that I didn't have to do that.

[morganmalfoy.livejournal.com]

Also, my mom's response (via e-mail) "reassure her is that it happens in every home in America. She is not alone. I am just grateful that I have no bitterness to anyone for not embracing my cooking. As it is I have no desire to cook for anyone and that is probably years of negative reinforcement. I can live with that."

[adrian-turtle.livejournal.com]

Hypoglycemia is really hard. I lived with a hypoglycemic for 5 years, and she truly could not function when her sugar crashed. It's not that she was trying to be uncooperative, it's that her body was being so uncooperative with HER that she had a hard time taking care of herself. She didn't feel hungry, she was past hungry to feeling queasy. Or sleepy. Or angry.

Fortunately, we could get her to drink 2 ounces of orange juice just by putting it in her hand and saying, "You need to drink this. It will make you feel better." (If it was already bad, you couldn't send her to the fridge to pour the juice herself. She'd get distracted or lost.) And the juice would fix the hypoglycemic symptoms for half an hour, turning her back into a perfectly reasonable adult who could make sensible decisions about preparing and eating meals.

[pegkerr.livejournal.com]

Oh, I know that. I get hypoglycemic, and I know what it's like to have a sugar crash and not be willing to eat. I've used orange juice in those situations and had others force it on me, too.

I didn't think of the orange juice that night; I'm afraid I was a bit distracted at the time what with getting dinner on the table.