Whine, whine, whine

[pegkerr]

Am in an utterly foul mood. Definitely orcish.

My house is . . . ugh. I won't embarrass myself by describing it. I feed my kids badly. Tried to help Delia with her homework tonight and became wild with impatience. Shouldn't she know that if she's in second grade? So I felt guilty that somehow we're screwing up her schooling, and I made her cry. Hundreds of e-mails in the in-box on HPEF stuff I need to wade through. And I just don't wanna. We're moving at my office and I don't wanna to go to the new location, away from the bookstores and the coffeeshops and the stores where I can run my errands. Still felt queasy today. Tried to exercise but gave up after ten minutes; it was too much after being so sick. Nothing is going on with the book. Imagination is dead. Nothing but bills in the mail. Well, and a few Christmas cards, which reminds me I need to send out my own. Haven't started Christmas shopping at all.

Graorroowwooorrooowww.

Comments

[fairestcat]

*hugs*

I know you can't believe right now that it'll all be better tomorrow. But it will be. Or at least less frustrating and easier to deal with.

Until then, good thoughts coming your way.

[mangosong.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

Totally sympathize with working in a location far away from bookstores and coffeeshops and stores. Last place I worked was in a pretty grim neighborhood and the Burger King across the street was the only close lunch spot. I still cannot eat BK to this day.

[aome.livejournal.com]

Ali, what a perfect icon to use for a situation like this. I need one.

Peg, feeling similarly overwhelmed here (mess, Christmas, raising kid, other demands), I totally sympathize. Aside from your kids, are there people you could just make cookies for or get bookstore gift certificates for, just to make things marginally easier in the gift department?

And make Rob help with the cards.

After that - just take a deep breath, try to get some sleep, and do the best you can to take care of yourself. *hug*

[corinnethewise.livejournal.com]

::hugs::

[pinkfinity.livejournal.com]

The hpef stuff is neither bad nor terrible pressing, other than one communications-team document, so don't overstress about it.

Hugs!

[shellefly.livejournal.com]

Holiday cheer.
Shopping and cards and obligations and pressure.
Plus an office move too?
Super yich.

I hope you get a break soon.

[oracne.livejournal.com]

Of course you feel bad, you;re overwhelmed after you've just had a major stress. Take a little time for yourself somewhere in there, read or something if you can't exercise. Things will get better.

[cakmpls.livejournal.com]

Do you want any advice from an experienced (read: old and tired) parent? I won't offer any unless you want it.

[pegkerr.livejournal.com]

I'll take all the wisdom I can get. Spill.

[cakmpls.livejournal.com]

OK, here goes. This isn't wisdom--I don't fool myself that easily--and a lot of it isn't even advice. Some of it is just fact, some is highly opinionated, er, opinion.

1. House: I think the most important factor is, why does this matter? If it's any other reason than "it isn't the way I want it" (because I doubt very much that it's "if the health department sees it they'll condemn it"), let it go. If someone else wants it different, let that person do the work. If you're trying to meet some societally imposed goal, remember that you are intelligent and confident enough to pick your own goals, thank you very much.

If, however, the reason is "it isn't the way I want it," I don't have anything helpful to say. I've never known anyone who lived with others, who cared what their dwelling looked like, and who was totally satisfied with it, except for a couple of dominating folks whose families feared them, hated them, or both. One of little evils that society has perpetrated is making people believe that "other people's houses don't look like this." Most of them do, most of the time, if they do anything with their lives (outside of work, maybe) other than clean house. And to the extent that having interests makes one an interesting person, the most interesting people have the messiest houses (especially if you count kids as "interests").

2. Feeding the kids: Sure, it would be great if all parents gave their children perfectly balanced, organic, appropriately caloric, regularly scheduled meals all the time. Maybe someone can do it. I've never met her/him, however. Some put more time and energy into in than others, true. But everyone has a finite amount of time and energy (not to mention money). Would your kids be better off if you gave up the time and energy you spend on doing something else to concentrate on perfectly healthy meals? Would you? Would your marriage? Would your family life as a whole? Unless you get a majority of "yes" answers there, you're making a justified trade-off. We all make them.

3. Educating your kids: Just by being you and Rob being Rob, just by being able to help with homework--by being available and sufficiently educated and by reading and writing English, just by having a house full of books and art supplies, you contribute more than a lot of parents can.

Helping kids with schoolwork is tough. Sometimes they don't "get" things that are so obvious to you (and maybe that were so easy for you back in the day) that you want to bang your head, or their heads, or both, on the desk. Sometimes they don't learn in the style that you tutor in. Sometimes they don't want to be there, doing that. It's often a thankless task (unlike the rest of parenting--HA!), but you're doing it. That's a big contribution you're making.

And if it hasn't happened yet, it soon will: you'll switch from "Shouldn't she know that by now?" to "Ohmygod, they learn that already? We didn't have that till ______" and then to "I'm sorry, dear, but that didn't exist when I went to school."

Christmas cards: This one is easy--don't do it.

Just don't.

See how many cards you get. See how many you care about. Send those people a nice letter (computer-generated, with a bit of personalization) sometime after the first of the year, when you don't have all the other Christmas stuff to do. Enclose cute kid pictures from Christmas morning as a subtle excuse for the timing.

Keeping in touch at least once a year is a good idea. Doing it at Christmas, with all the other stuff to do, is a bad idea.

Just. Don't. Do. It.

[cat-mom.livejournal.com]

I just wanted to say that I LOVE your icon.

[cakmpls.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I got it from maybethemoon. I used to have Minnie Mouse, so it appears that you and I have an interest in common.

[cat-mom.livejournal.com]

My daughter set me up in lj when we got back from Nimbus 2003. I thought Mickey as the sorcerer's apprentice was very appropriate!
I am also in the "straight but not narrow" club and I always appreciate positive messages like your icon.

[kishmish.livejournal.com]

*hug*
Take a little break from it all. Maybe a nice long bath would make you feel better?
You need to take care of yourself^_^ You spend enough time worrying about everyone else.

[minnehaha.livejournal.com]

Hope you're doing something fun tonight. (I'm on an airplane.)

B

[cat-mom.livejournal.com]

OMG why do we let the holidays do this to us? It almost makes Bob Cratchet's life look appealing. cakmpls gave you some very good advice and I'll add my two cents if you don't mind.

HOUSE - After I turned fifty this year and started working more hours I did something for the first time I never thought I would do - I paid someone to clean my house! What liberation! I justified the expense by working more but god I wish I would have done it once in a while when my girls were at home, esp. at the holidays. My advice is to pay someone to do a thorough clean to get you through until the new year. That can be your present to yourself (or from your husband).

CARDS - I never missed a year sending cards, even the Dec. in 1981 when we moved from New Orleans to Dallas with a 19 month old, I was 6+ months pregnant and we had a house full of relatives 2 weeks after we moved in. Last year my husband and daughters and I spent the holidays in Iran (um...long story) and I had every intention of sending cards out in January when we got back, with pictures and a letter and everything. Well, it never happened and the world didn't crumble.
I have a friend who sends her cards out in January every year (on purpose) because Dec. is so busy and frankly Jan. is a dud of a month. I think it's a wonderful idea.

EDUCATION - You love your kids, you spend time with them, you care about how they do in school. ENOUGH SAID!

FOOD - I agonized over my kids diet when they were growing up. I felt guilty if I gave them Kraft macaroni & cheese for dinner. My youngest daughter (that would be shakespearechic) has survived four years of college on bean burritos and sweets. It's a cruel world.