Continuing to transition

[pegkerr]

Me, to Fiona : “So, IF I started thinking about dating again, what sort of guy do you think—“
Fiona (adamantly): “No.”
Me: “No, really, I just wondered—“
Fiona: “No. I’m not going there.”
Me: “Fiona, this is purely theoretical. You’re a mathematician, right? You can deal with the theoretical. Think of it like, um, pairing numbers.”
Fiona: “I happen to dislike even numbers.”

At which point, I cracked up and abandoned the conversation. No dating advice will be forthcoming from my daughter. (And it’s really true. She likes odd numbers better than even numbers. She likes prime numbers best of all, bless her nerdy heart.)

In other news, I donated 460 books to the Friends of the Library yesterday. They were mystery hardbacks, a genre I hardly ever read (except for a few selected authors). Many of them Rob BOUGHT at the Friends of the Library book sales over the years (he would go at the end of the day and bring home grocery bags full of books that he'd gotten for $1 each--uncaring of my shrill complaints: "Where are we going to PUT them all?") I hope to consolidate three of the remaining bookcases into the open shelves, which would allow me to remove bookcases that are sitting in the archway between my living room and my dining room. Then I can go shopping for new furniture.

Rob loved his books so, so much, and I did, too, but the number that he collected was excessive. It is incredibly painful to get rid of some. And hopeful. I sent the Snapchat below to the girls, and Delia called me up to console me and tell me that she was proud of me. And I am, and yet...ugh. I slept badly last night.

Comments

[jenett]

When I did the big book purge before moving to Maine, I told myself firmly that I was letting the books go find people who would also love them.

(Library school is very helpful in teaching you how to evaluate "Is this book still actually useful sitting on this specific shelf right now?" But emotionally, the "This book can find a new home" helped a lot.)

[(Anonymous)]

Well, that's genuitely hard. Because it will be good to have more space and less clutter, literally good for your mental health. And yet you can only do it because Rob is gone. It's bad that he's gone, but that can't be helped and a small incidental benefit is a house more like what you wanted all along and less like the inevitable compromise that all marriages require. But you can only do it because of badness. I wouldn't have slept either.

But there are lots of mystery fans out there who haven't filled up their bookcases yet who will be really happy about those books.

P.

[aome]

I think it's a positive step that you were even willing to consider donating anything of Rob's - or even utter the word "date." I think the mixed feelings are entirely normal. And I'm sure some mystery lovers will be delighted to give those books a new home. :)

Tell Fiona that my favorite number is 47. It's because of where I went to college, not because of a particular fondness for prime numbers, but since it is a prime number, perhaps I can spread around the 47-love. :D

[pru]

That must have been so hard to do as a booklover even for a genre you don't read. Good on you.

[lapin_agile]

That is a such a significant thing to have done, and though I’m sure it was hard to do, it is tremendous to have carried through and given them. Well done, Peg.

[tassie-gal.livejournal.com]

Mum and my late Dad has similar arguments about his "finds" at the lifeline book sales. After he died my job was to clear out the bookshelves in his office - I couldnt do it. I kept crying. Mum managed by ruthlessly dividing the books into "work stuff", "game stuff", "I have NO IDEA" stuff. She kept two or three of the work books, and gave the rest away to Dads colleagues. She kept most of the game stuff (well I said we HAD to), and some of the no idea stuff...but I know how it feels to let it go... it hurts.