Samhain Deathly Hallows Tarot Reading
Nov. 2nd, 2021 05:09 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
pegkerrJust as I did in 2018, I decided on Halloween to use my Harry Potter tarot deck to do a Deathly Hallows tarot reading. I like doing this spread on Halloween. As I noted in my post about the 2018 reading, Halloween is the anniversary of the awful day that Rob and I learned that the suspicious PET scan he had recently received was not lymphoma coming out of remission, it was leukemia (caused by the first chemotherapy he'd received) that would go on to kill him a little less than three months later.
Samhain, the day when the souls of the dead are said to approach as close as they ever do to the living, or Halloween, the day before All Soul's Day, seems to be an appropriate occasion to do the Deathly Hallows tarot spread.
1 2 3
1: The Elder Wand - something that is both winning and losing
2: The Resurrection Stone - what has been lost and will not, cannot, come back
3: The Invisibility Cloak - what you've come to accept
Here is the Tale of the Three Brothers and the Deathly Hallows:
I drew three cards.
1: The Lovers - Remus and Tonks
The book that came along with the deck explained that there are two traditional approaches for this card: either an established couple, or a man making a choice between two potential lovers. (In my Jane Austen deck, for example, the VI card shows Darcy sitting with Caroline Bingley but looking longingly out the window at Elizabeth Bennet). Remus actually fits both of these traditional approaches: he and Tonks were lovers, but a choice is also involved, because Remus lost faith in his relationship with Tonks and then chose to go back to be a husband and father again (after getting a scolding from Harry).
Three years ago, I drew the King of Cups card for the Elder Wand card, which I associated with Rob. I associate the Lovers card, of course, with Rob and myself. But it's a winning and losing card because while we were lovers, and our marriage grew stronger throughout the cancer journey, I of course lost Rob to cancer.
But this card can also represent myself and the new person in my life, Eric. I've lost Rob, but I have a new relationship. Yet, there is a choice buried in that fact, too. Do I cling to my old relationship, to my status as Rob's widow? Do I move forward into the new relationship, even to the point of marriage? I am trying to decide that. Is that winning? Is it losing?
Another way to think of the card is that it simultaneously reflects me losing Rob and winning Eric.
2: the Four of Swords - Truce
This card shows the moment when the trio tries to cross the chessboard but they are blocked by the crossed swords of the pawns. They have to pause and regroup and figure out what to do. Cards with the number four are associated with stability: four sides make a square, a very stable, balanced form.
If the card in this position in the reading represents something that I have lost forever, that, too, makes sense: I have lost stability. My married life wasn't always easy, but I knew what to expect. Now my life seems upended, and as a widow living through a pandemic, I have no idea what to expect next.
3: the Seven of Swords - Deception
This card depicts seven sword-like teeth of the Monster Book of Monsters. Traditionally, (as in the Rider-Waite deck), this card shows a man carrying away a pile of swords. There is an element of sneakiness to the card. Another traditional meaning to the card is "betrayal."
I thought about how this card and meaning applied, in terms of something I have come to accept. I mentioned that Halloween has been so hard for me the past several years, because it is such a painful anniversary. It was the date that we learned that Rob's lymphoma was now leukemia, the disease that would go on to kill him. He was betrayed by a sneak attack: the chemotherapy that was supposed to save him ultimately was what killed him.
But although I have suffered from this memory for the past several years, I am definitely coming to accept it. I had fled the celebration of Halloween every year since Rob's death--turning out the lights, leaving the house, unable to bear the parade of cheerful children in costumes. Halloween was just too painful.
Until this year. I carved pumpkins and put them out on the porch with lit candles. I bought candy and handed it out. I lit all the candles in my living room, curled up with a cozy blanket, and again watched the movie Coco. For the first time since Rob's death, I actually enjoyed the holiday. And that makes me genuinely proud of myself.
Samhain, the day when the souls of the dead are said to approach as close as they ever do to the living, or Halloween, the day before All Soul's Day, seems to be an appropriate occasion to do the Deathly Hallows tarot spread.
1: The Elder Wand - something that is both winning and losing
2: The Resurrection Stone - what has been lost and will not, cannot, come back
3: The Invisibility Cloak - what you've come to accept
Here is the Tale of the Three Brothers and the Deathly Hallows:
I drew three cards.
1: The Lovers - Remus and Tonks
The book that came along with the deck explained that there are two traditional approaches for this card: either an established couple, or a man making a choice between two potential lovers. (In my Jane Austen deck, for example, the VI card shows Darcy sitting with Caroline Bingley but looking longingly out the window at Elizabeth Bennet). Remus actually fits both of these traditional approaches: he and Tonks were lovers, but a choice is also involved, because Remus lost faith in his relationship with Tonks and then chose to go back to be a husband and father again (after getting a scolding from Harry).
Three years ago, I drew the King of Cups card for the Elder Wand card, which I associated with Rob. I associate the Lovers card, of course, with Rob and myself. But it's a winning and losing card because while we were lovers, and our marriage grew stronger throughout the cancer journey, I of course lost Rob to cancer.
But this card can also represent myself and the new person in my life, Eric. I've lost Rob, but I have a new relationship. Yet, there is a choice buried in that fact, too. Do I cling to my old relationship, to my status as Rob's widow? Do I move forward into the new relationship, even to the point of marriage? I am trying to decide that. Is that winning? Is it losing?
Another way to think of the card is that it simultaneously reflects me losing Rob and winning Eric.
2: the Four of Swords - Truce
This card shows the moment when the trio tries to cross the chessboard but they are blocked by the crossed swords of the pawns. They have to pause and regroup and figure out what to do. Cards with the number four are associated with stability: four sides make a square, a very stable, balanced form.
If the card in this position in the reading represents something that I have lost forever, that, too, makes sense: I have lost stability. My married life wasn't always easy, but I knew what to expect. Now my life seems upended, and as a widow living through a pandemic, I have no idea what to expect next.
3: the Seven of Swords - Deception
This card depicts seven sword-like teeth of the Monster Book of Monsters. Traditionally, (as in the Rider-Waite deck), this card shows a man carrying away a pile of swords. There is an element of sneakiness to the card. Another traditional meaning to the card is "betrayal."
I thought about how this card and meaning applied, in terms of something I have come to accept. I mentioned that Halloween has been so hard for me the past several years, because it is such a painful anniversary. It was the date that we learned that Rob's lymphoma was now leukemia, the disease that would go on to kill him. He was betrayed by a sneak attack: the chemotherapy that was supposed to save him ultimately was what killed him.
But although I have suffered from this memory for the past several years, I am definitely coming to accept it. I had fled the celebration of Halloween every year since Rob's death--turning out the lights, leaving the house, unable to bear the parade of cheerful children in costumes. Halloween was just too painful.
Until this year. I carved pumpkins and put them out on the porch with lit candles. I bought candy and handed it out. I lit all the candles in my living room, curled up with a cozy blanket, and again watched the movie Coco. For the first time since Rob's death, I actually enjoyed the holiday. And that makes me genuinely proud of myself.
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Date: 2021-11-02 11:03 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2021-11-02 11:12 pm (UTC)