52 Card Project 2022: Week 32: Hyperfixation

[pegkerr]

Here's a secret about me that isn't really a secret.

I hyperfixate. I mean, I SUPER hyperfixate, to the extent that sometimes I feel I have to hide the extremity of my obsession with things.

Hyperfixation periods can last a week, several months, or sometimes for years at a time. Sometimes I drop one object and then take it up again for another extended period several decades later.

This was a matter of extreme bafflement to my family of origin. I don't think any of them quite understood this pattern, and although they generally tried to remain polite about it, I suspect that sometimes my behavior quietly freaked them out. For all I know, they may have questioned my sanity at times. "How many times have you seen that...whatchamacallit. That Star Wars movie?"

Thank heavens I found a love who understood hyperfixation to the core of his being, and that was one of the joys of our marriage, that we could get excited about the same things. And our two daughters took after both their mommy and daddy, and suddenly I had a WHOLE FAMILY WHO UNDERSTOOD ME.

Here's an interesting article on hyperfixation, which notes that it can be associated with depression and anxiety disorders.

It's probably served me well as a writer, come to think of it. I mean, I don't know how anyone can get through the writing of a book without being at least somewhat obsessed.

Hyperfixation has given tremendous joy to my life. But it CAN be problematic, sometimes interfering with the functioning of daily life.

I wonder what percentage of the population has a mind that works like this?

Since I've had a tendency toward hyperfixation for decades, and the family that Rob and I made together all understood it (and sometimes we hyperfixated on things together, which was terrific fun and a source of family bonding), I've been comfortable with it for the most part. It was also why we found a firm home of friendship in the SF/Fantasy fandom community. EVERYBODY there understands fandom obsessions.

Sometimes, when interacting with others in the mundane world, I have felt the necessity to hide from others how incredibly deep and intense the vortex can get. For example, I don't generally admit to people that of the 200+ books I've read this year, probably close to 90% of them are retellings/variations of Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice. Seven of them in the last week alone. I mean...why do I do that?!

I don't know. But at this point, I don't have any intention of stopping.

Do YOU hyperfixate? How do you feel about it? Has it presented problems for you in your life? What gifts has it given you?

Image description: A fire tornado against a darkened landscape. Fandom symbols are caught in the vortex: Harry Potter, Dragonriders of Pern, Narnia, Star Wars, Star Trek, Hamilton, Alternity, JRR Tolkien, Jane Austen (at the base of tornado). Lower left: Peg looks through a magnifying glass at "Jane Austen" with a fixated intense expression.

Hyperfixation



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Comments

[pameladean]

I love that card a lot.

I used to hyperfixate, and I miss it. I think the change is probably attributable to one of the blood pressure medications I take (the beta blocker, which does weird things to one's adrenaline response), but that's just speculation.

P.

[minnehaha]

The only thing I've heard about beta blockers that's any good at all is that they do control one's blood pressure. So many complaints about them otherwise, and so varied.

K.

[pameladean]

If you have inexplicable tachycardia, they will control that too, if you're lucky. They can also work as a migraine prophylactic. So I get those benefits, too. But yeah, they are basically just weird. I don't get all the possible weirdnesses, at least.

P.