Shakespeare and the users manual

Here's something delightfully silly. Lois McMaster Bujold sent me this a while back.

The Washington Bleep, as G. Gordo refers to it, has a weekly humor
contest. Here's one:

"Rewrite some banal instructions in the style of some famous writer."
The winner was:

O proud left foot, that ventures quick within
Then soon upon a backward journey lithe.
Anon, once more the gesture, then begin:
Command sinistral pedestal to writhe.
Commence thou then the fervid Hokey-Poke,
A mad gyration, hips in wanton swirl.
To spin! A wilde release from Heavens yoke.
Blessed dervish! Surely canst go, girl.
The Hoke, the poke -- banish now thy doubt
Verily, I say, 'tis what it's all about.

-- by William Shakespeare
(Jeff Brechlin, Potomac Falls)"