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Nov. 25th, 2008
Something ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
kijjohnson said in our weekly telephone call really jumped out at me, maybe because it has the ring of truth. "You worry more than anybody I know."
I've been thinking about that statement ever since. Really, I'm quite embarrassed about it. Come on, Peg, you know that you're undermining your own health by always worrying so much. And how unnecessary it all is, really! I've been analyzing, trying to understand myself. How much of my worry is innate to my character, to the fact that I tend to be a depressive person (always seeing the glass half empty, Peg?) How much of it is integral to the structures within my marriage? Rob is adamantly NOT a worrier--and I have become, in a sense, the designated worrier of the family. It performs a function, but can slide into codependency, and really, when you look at it that way, getting off the worry hook (and maybe sticking HIM onto it) can only improve my marriage. How much of it is simply peculiar to my situation (layoff, money, some medical issues, etc.) such that any reasonable person in my position would worry the same amount?
Yes, I do worry too much. I agree. Way too much. How much can I change that? I do certain things that theoretically could help: regular exercise, including walking in sunlight, spiritual connection, antidepressants, support system. Yet I seem to be simply marinating in my own stress; my mind turns over and over on the well-worn ruts of low grade panic.
I'm sick of it.
My psychiatrist told me today that someone in my situation should be worried, yes--if I weren't, it would indicate a serious breach with reality. But the level of worry I cope with every day is so hard on me, my family, my body. There's also a part of me that thinks it's also a spiritual malaise--although I am REALLY wary of falling into the trap in which I suffered for so many years, of believing that the reason I was depressed was that I didn't have enough faith.
Still. Is it possible to change? How? I have been thinking about experimenting with meditation.
Have you managed to get a grip on worry and change yourself and the way that you deal with anxiety to the point that you think you have made a real difference in your life? What prompted the change? What did you do? How did it work for you?
kijjohnson said in our weekly telephone call really jumped out at me, maybe because it has the ring of truth. "You worry more than anybody I know."I've been thinking about that statement ever since. Really, I'm quite embarrassed about it. Come on, Peg, you know that you're undermining your own health by always worrying so much. And how unnecessary it all is, really! I've been analyzing, trying to understand myself. How much of my worry is innate to my character, to the fact that I tend to be a depressive person (always seeing the glass half empty, Peg?) How much of it is integral to the structures within my marriage? Rob is adamantly NOT a worrier--and I have become, in a sense, the designated worrier of the family. It performs a function, but can slide into codependency, and really, when you look at it that way, getting off the worry hook (and maybe sticking HIM onto it) can only improve my marriage. How much of it is simply peculiar to my situation (layoff, money, some medical issues, etc.) such that any reasonable person in my position would worry the same amount?
Yes, I do worry too much. I agree. Way too much. How much can I change that? I do certain things that theoretically could help: regular exercise, including walking in sunlight, spiritual connection, antidepressants, support system. Yet I seem to be simply marinating in my own stress; my mind turns over and over on the well-worn ruts of low grade panic.
I'm sick of it.
My psychiatrist told me today that someone in my situation should be worried, yes--if I weren't, it would indicate a serious breach with reality. But the level of worry I cope with every day is so hard on me, my family, my body. There's also a part of me that thinks it's also a spiritual malaise--although I am REALLY wary of falling into the trap in which I suffered for so many years, of believing that the reason I was depressed was that I didn't have enough faith.
Still. Is it possible to change? How? I have been thinking about experimenting with meditation.
Have you managed to get a grip on worry and change yourself and the way that you deal with anxiety to the point that you think you have made a real difference in your life? What prompted the change? What did you do? How did it work for you?
