Why did the chicken cross the road? (LOTR)

[pegkerr]

shirebound started it here.

Boromir: To defend Gondor against its enemies
Gandalf: I thought I told everyone to stay off the Road.
Sam: Look, Mr. Frodo! The roast chicken we've been waiting for!
Legolas: It has heard the Sea, and will now be ever restless.
Pippin: Did someone say chicken?

grimnir1 added:
Galadriel: It passes the test. It will diminish, and cross the road and remain a chicken.
Eowyn: It doesn't want to stay in a cage behind bars any more until all chance of doing great deeds is gone beyond recall or desire.

ethereal_hobbit:
Boromir: It's a strange thing that we suffer so much fear and doubt over so small a chicken . . . such a little thing."

sorrowful_eagle:
Gandalf: It's not a chicken. It is one of the Nine, disguised as a chicken, and the other eight are following close behind. I warned you that the Dark Lord had many servants - beasts, birds - that includes chickens.

green_ghost:
Smeagol: What's chicken precious? What's chicken, eh?
Gollum:: Because it doesn't have any friends. Nobody likes chicken.
green_ghost then added: Actually, it never got across that road. Gandalf wouldn't let it pass.

anna_burrows:
Gandalf: The chicken is never late, nor is it early. It crosses the road precisely when it means to!
Bilbo: It needed a holiday, a very long holiday, and didn't expect to return. In fact, it meant not to.
Boromir: It better not have gone to Gondor. Gondor has no chicken. Gondor needs no chicken.
Sam: If the chicken takes one more step, it'll be the farthest from home it's ever been.

myladylyssa:
Treebeard: Don't be hasty, young chicken. It is likely that you go to your doom. The last march of the chickens.
Bilbo: It was quite ready for another adventure.
Gamling: It leaves because there is no hope.
Theoden: It leaves because it must.

clever_hobbit:
Bilbo: Frodo, tell me again, lad- where was it going?
Arwen: I wish... I could have seen him... one last time...
Elrond: Take it by the safest road. A bus lies on the other side to carry it to KFC. The last journey of the chicken.
Eomer: What business does a chicken have in the Mark? Speak quickly!
Faramir: Is this what you wish? That I had crossed the road and the chicken had not?
Frodo: There was no other way.
Gollum: Clever chickenses to walk so far!

lilybaggins:
Denethor: Bring wood and olive oil. We're having roast chicken.

slightlytookish
Orcs: Chicken? Why can't we have some chicken? We've had nothing but maggoty bread for three stinking days!

elanor1013
Merry: All the other chickens have crossed. It would be ashamed to be left behind.
Eowyn: Why can it not cross for those it loves?

wordsworthy:
Frodo: I will take the chicken, though I do not know the way.

Comments

[jade1x2.livejournal.com]

OMG. *rolls* thank you. I needed a laugh. I'm still giggling.

[mizkit.livejournal.com]

*HOWLS OF LAUGHTER*! *HOWL*! Those are WONDERFUL! *LAUGH*

[mizkit.livejournal.com]

*HOWL*

My husband adds:

Sauron: "One chicken to rule them all, and on the road to bind them."

[cavlec.livejournal.com]

Elrond: Chickens are weak. Our list of crossers grows thin.

[mechaieh.livejournal.com]

Most of these are brilliant, but this one's where I had to put down the laptop because I was laughing too hard.

[peacockharpy.livejournal.com]

Arwen: But what if the chicken doesn't want to cross?

[foxe.livejournal.com]

eeeeh! *is broken with laughing too much* We may not know each other, I found this through vassilissa's LJ. But thanks anyway! Can I link to this in my LJ, to share the hilariousness with my friends?

[pegkerr.livejournal.com]

Oh sure, be my guest! You might send them to shirebound's journal, because there are many more such entries there.

[kaolinfire.livejournal.com]

Most excellent =)

More

[mavarin.livejournal.com]

Gandalf: It met someone it did not expect. Does that comfort you?
Frodo: the chicken jumped over the Moon...
Barliman: How should I know? It's welcome to go where it will, so long as it gets caught and cooked in the morning.
Strider: There have been scorching flames here. I guess that it was attacked upon this hill-top.

I forgot one

[mavarin.livejournal.com]

The Shiriffs: Crossing the road is not allowed.

[kishmish.livejournal.com]

LOL:) I love this one:
Gondor has no chicken. Gondor needs no chicken.

How about:

All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are chicken

[a-blue-moon-cat.livejournal.com]

Denethor: Roast it, quick! Here, I'll do it myself. (Allusion to the MRAP musical comedy, 'The Return of the King and I', from Dragoncon 2004)

Theoden: If this be our last chicken, may he die well!

Aragorn: Do you think the chicken has cross the Road?
Gandalf: What do you feel in your heart?
Aragorn: I think he's reached the other side.

(All these courtesy of mikrophone )

[a-blue-moon-cat.livejournal.com]

Actually, that's

mikerofone

*blushes*

Galadriel's Guard

[surielle.livejournal.com]

Galadriel's Guard: The Chicken breathes so loud, we could have shot him in the dark.

Re: Galadriel's Guard

[kd5mdk.livejournal.com]

Was that actually Haldir?

Barliman Butterburr: "Why did the chicken cross the road? Why I plain forgot."

Re: Galadriel's Guard

[surielle.livejournal.com]

Yes.. I think it could have been.. I couldn't remember the name, if I ever knew it... :) I think it was the same fellow who led the elves to Helm's Deep in the movie.. I don't have the books here to check the accuracy or names :) But I still love that quote :)

courtesy of my sister...

[zzinnia.livejournal.com]

gandalf: fly, you fowl!!

[shalynn-j.livejournal.com]

still giggling, mind if i add you to my friends?

[pegkerr.livejournal.com]

Sure, and welcome to my journal!

[sine-que-non767.livejournal.com]

Here via your comment to calliope14...classic stuff. :D