Various thoughts: parenting and wit
Oct. 10th, 2002 09:40 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
pegkerrWrote about two paragraphs today that I consider good enough to keep. So. The writing of the book is officially underway.
I spent time tonight supervising handwriting practice for the girls, and then violin practice. Both of them have pretty abysmal handwriting, and I've agreed with both their teachers that I'd give them some extra time working on it. Since Delia's just in first grade, she's only just starting, of course, but both Fiona and Delia have the same problem at the root: they're too impatient to take the time to do it carefully. Delia has only just started the violin. Fiona has been playing about a year, but her sense of pitch is still very uncertain. Consequently, (let's be honest) they both sound dreadful. But, with both the handwriting practice and the violin practice, I keep going with the hope that if we keep practicing, they'll get better.
I was thinking about this today, feeling somewhat panicky about all the stuff we still need to teach them. Fiona is halfway to college already. (Good heavens.) There's so much you have to teach to civilize a child! Does she know her multiplication tables well enough? Are we giving them good guidance in learning about sex--enough information so that they'll learn enough to be happy and well-adjusted but not overwhelmed? Have I been teaching then enough about manners? They've been taking Spanish the last couple of years in the after-school program at school, but with the budget cuts there will be no after-school buses on Mondays when Spanish is offered. How can I make sure they keep up with their Spanish studies? Are we reading enough to them? Well, we're undoubtedly reading enough, but are we offering a wide enough variety of books? (Perhaps more non-fiction is needed?) Are we guiding them enough on how to do their homework--keeping them focused and on task, but not doing it for them?
I'm naturally a perfectionist, a tendency I continually fight within myself. I hope I know enough not to expect perfect children, but I really do want to be a perfect mother. Of course, I know, intellectually, I am doomed to failure, but that nagging voice still speaks to me in bed late at night (are you sure they both flossed their teeth tonight?)
Wish I could see them in a crystal ball about twenty years or so from now, so I could know that they turn out okay.
Have started Harry Harrison's Stainless Steel Rat series and am thinking more about smart-asses, and wit. Wit in the male protagonist seems to be humor combined with confidence and, in some examples, a sort of dangerousness. Perhaps that is why the combination is so irresistible to the female of the species.
This is making me think about something I've thought about before: how do you write a character who is rich is something that you suspect you (the author) lack? In this case, I'm thinking about self-confidence and humor. Well, I do think I have somewhat of a sense of humor, but it's not as nearly razor-sharp as that of other people I know. And self-confidence is really not one of my strengths.
It depends on what the characteristic you are trying to create in your character is. Lois McMaster Bujold always said she made Miles Vorkosigan so energetic, almost hyper, because she always wanted more energy herself. Yet I think that energy is something that would be easy to write even if you don't have it yourself. Wit and self-confidence, however, I think might be more elusive.
I did write a very self-confident character once, and I think I did pull it off pretty well: Lady Kestrienne in my first book. It's odd: I can think of so many situations where I can't think what would be the right thing to say. And yet if I imagined Lady Kestrienne in that situation, time and time I could easily come up with the right thing for her to say, something zingy and strong, that would stop everyone else in their tracks.
Huh. Well, I hope that it will work that way as I write Jack. Yes, we can always hope.
Cheers,
Peg
I spent time tonight supervising handwriting practice for the girls, and then violin practice. Both of them have pretty abysmal handwriting, and I've agreed with both their teachers that I'd give them some extra time working on it. Since Delia's just in first grade, she's only just starting, of course, but both Fiona and Delia have the same problem at the root: they're too impatient to take the time to do it carefully. Delia has only just started the violin. Fiona has been playing about a year, but her sense of pitch is still very uncertain. Consequently, (let's be honest) they both sound dreadful. But, with both the handwriting practice and the violin practice, I keep going with the hope that if we keep practicing, they'll get better.
I was thinking about this today, feeling somewhat panicky about all the stuff we still need to teach them. Fiona is halfway to college already. (Good heavens.) There's so much you have to teach to civilize a child! Does she know her multiplication tables well enough? Are we giving them good guidance in learning about sex--enough information so that they'll learn enough to be happy and well-adjusted but not overwhelmed? Have I been teaching then enough about manners? They've been taking Spanish the last couple of years in the after-school program at school, but with the budget cuts there will be no after-school buses on Mondays when Spanish is offered. How can I make sure they keep up with their Spanish studies? Are we reading enough to them? Well, we're undoubtedly reading enough, but are we offering a wide enough variety of books? (Perhaps more non-fiction is needed?) Are we guiding them enough on how to do their homework--keeping them focused and on task, but not doing it for them?
I'm naturally a perfectionist, a tendency I continually fight within myself. I hope I know enough not to expect perfect children, but I really do want to be a perfect mother. Of course, I know, intellectually, I am doomed to failure, but that nagging voice still speaks to me in bed late at night (are you sure they both flossed their teeth tonight?)
Wish I could see them in a crystal ball about twenty years or so from now, so I could know that they turn out okay.
Have started Harry Harrison's Stainless Steel Rat series and am thinking more about smart-asses, and wit. Wit in the male protagonist seems to be humor combined with confidence and, in some examples, a sort of dangerousness. Perhaps that is why the combination is so irresistible to the female of the species.
This is making me think about something I've thought about before: how do you write a character who is rich is something that you suspect you (the author) lack? In this case, I'm thinking about self-confidence and humor. Well, I do think I have somewhat of a sense of humor, but it's not as nearly razor-sharp as that of other people I know. And self-confidence is really not one of my strengths.
It depends on what the characteristic you are trying to create in your character is. Lois McMaster Bujold always said she made Miles Vorkosigan so energetic, almost hyper, because she always wanted more energy herself. Yet I think that energy is something that would be easy to write even if you don't have it yourself. Wit and self-confidence, however, I think might be more elusive.
I did write a very self-confident character once, and I think I did pull it off pretty well: Lady Kestrienne in my first book. It's odd: I can think of so many situations where I can't think what would be the right thing to say. And yet if I imagined Lady Kestrienne in that situation, time and time I could easily come up with the right thing for her to say, something zingy and strong, that would stop everyone else in their tracks.
Huh. Well, I hope that it will work that way as I write Jack. Yes, we can always hope.
Cheers,
Peg
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(no subject)
Date: 2002-10-10 08:40 pm (UTC)Glad to hear the writing is officially started! I think once you get to know Jack, he'll give you all his best lines. ;) Your musings on self-confidence and wit reminded me of several guys I knew -- they exuded arrogance in spades, and were witty to boot, but they couldn't laugh at themselves -- and they never knew how to stop the performance. Fascinating people to be around, but ultimately very selfish/self-centered. So there's a fine line there between the attraction adn the reality. :)
(no subject)
Date: 2002-10-11 09:28 am (UTC)Wish I could see them in a crystal ball about twenty years or so from now, so I could know that they turn out okay.
I think if you saw them in later life you would work to change some particular facet that they had at that point, and perhaps change a facet you liked as well. I think the day by day effort has it's positive points.
(no subject)
Date: 2002-10-11 08:14 pm (UTC)My characters are always way wiser than I am. The advantage we as writers have is that we have all the time in the world to figure out what they, the characters, have to experience on the fly, in real time. I can take as long as I want to figure out whatever brilliant insights my character Harueme is having right now, and if I have to have the insight in little baby steps over a two-week period, hey, that's possible.
Similarly wit. All those times you said to yourself, "Why didn't I think of saying [insert smart comment here] when he said [whatever he said]?" Now you get to make it all work out just the way you wanted it to. The trick is to be able to put your finger solidly on what you wish you had said, and then extrapolate from that to general principles that will work in your conversation.
The other thing you can do is think of some wit you know and say, "If I overheard [Steve Brust/Mike Ford/whoever] having this conversation, what would he/she/it say?"
Good hunting, sweetie.
soccer_mom56 for president
Date: 2005-07-29 04:40 pm (UTC)