![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
pegkerrI have been mulling all day about the lively explosion of comments made to my post about The Giving Tree, particularly some very thoughtful ones made by ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
cakmpls, dreamcoat_mom, and liadan_m, among others. Yes, I value giving. Yes, I understand loving giving as part of my faith, and as a proper part of parenting. So what is it that bothers me so much about The Giving Tree? If I value giving and unselfishness (and I think I do), why does that book squick me so much, when it seems to extol exactly those things?
It occurred to me to come up with an example of a story about giving that doesn't squick me and see what the contrast suggested. The first that occurred to me, as I noted, was "Leaf by Niggle" by J.R.R. Tolkien. This story has a lot to do with other topics, too (Tolkien partly wrote it to examine subcreation, and to deal with his anxious fear that he would never finish his great work, The Silmarillion) but the story also throws some interesting commentary on giving, on the relationship between the giver and receiver (e.g., Niggle and Parish), and how that changes as the soul purges unworthiness from the heart and becomes purified for heaven.
And then I thought of another tale that seemed very similar to me to "Leaf By Niggle," and identifying it helped me pin down what I've been struggling to articulate all day: It's The Quiltmaker's Gift:
Why does this book (and "Leaf by Niggle") feel so different to me, so much more in tune with my own values and faith than The Giving Tree? I mean, it's the same message, isn't it? Give everything away!
It really does feel different to me. I find it interesting that both Niggle and the King wanted something themselves (the tree that Niggle was trying to paint, and the quilt that the King coveted) but they only "got" their desired object when they stopped striving after it. They began turning away from their pursuit of that desired object and starting giving away things instead (Niggle gave his attention to his tasks and help to his neighbor, Parish, and the King gave away all his possessions. Eventually, Niggle received the tree, a truly living beautiful tree, created by the Divine, and the King received the Quilt). How, then, is this different from the tree in The Giving Tree giving away all of her things?
I was struggling to explain this tocakmpls today, and I'm not sure I can quite do so. The giving that the tree did seemed (to me) oddly--empty, nonsustaining. When the tree gave her trunk away, it just disappeared. It didn't make compost for the forest floor around her. It didn't truly tie together the tree and the boy: once he had what he wanted from her, he abandoned her. And the tree seemed (to me) more and more barren and empty the more the boy took.
Niggle and Parish seemed to grow in interest, sympathy and understanding toward each other. When the Voices judge Niggle and ask him to speak for himself, Niggle has been changed so much in his preparation after the onset of his journey (in what seems to be clearly Tolkien's Catholic conception of Purgatory) that his answer to the Voices' directive to speak in his own defense is only a humble inquiry to know how is neighbor Parish is doing.
Aargh, I'm not expressing myself clearly here at all. One thing that struck me forcibly in today's discussion wascakmpls's comment (if I may summarize) that the fact that the tree was a stump at the end didn't bother her because that is what the natural end of trees must be. I said, half facetiously that a tree being cut down wasn't natural, that a more natural ending would be the tree trunk falling down, rotting away as food for grubs and shelter for foxes, and Mufasa would be there in the background singing "The Circle of Life." Yet cakmpls was getting at something true and real here: When we think about whether to be selfish with our time and possessions, it helps to remember that we will all be "stumps" in the end. We will all die, and be able to take nothing with us, so why hang onto things? Why not give them away? "Leaf by Niggle" is all about this journey into and after death, and I think The Quiltmaker's Gift is about it indirectly, too. I guess . . . what I'm struggling to articulate here is that in the course of giving everything away, Niggle and the King change in their relationship to their possessions, to their recipients of their possessions, and to themselves, in ways that fitted them for their journey toward death, and to fit them to meet the divine. I think that the way that they learned to give away was informed by some kind of divine grace so that it ennobled the recipients, too. We see this most clearly with Parish. We do NOT see this (at least I don't!) with the boy in The Giving Tree. (YMMV, of course)
I find The Quiltmaker's Gift website to be extremely interesting and suggestive:
*Sigh* That's the best I can do at explaining.
cakmpls, dreamcoat_mom, and liadan_m, among others. Yes, I value giving. Yes, I understand loving giving as part of my faith, and as a proper part of parenting. So what is it that bothers me so much about The Giving Tree? If I value giving and unselfishness (and I think I do), why does that book squick me so much, when it seems to extol exactly those things? It occurred to me to come up with an example of a story about giving that doesn't squick me and see what the contrast suggested. The first that occurred to me, as I noted, was "Leaf by Niggle" by J.R.R. Tolkien. This story has a lot to do with other topics, too (Tolkien partly wrote it to examine subcreation, and to deal with his anxious fear that he would never finish his great work, The Silmarillion) but the story also throws some interesting commentary on giving, on the relationship between the giver and receiver (e.g., Niggle and Parish), and how that changes as the soul purges unworthiness from the heart and becomes purified for heaven.
And then I thought of another tale that seemed very similar to me to "Leaf By Niggle," and identifying it helped me pin down what I've been struggling to articulate all day: It's The Quiltmaker's Gift:
 |
A wise and generous quiltmaker, with magic in her fingers and love for humanity in her heart, sews the most beautiful quilts in the world—and gives each one away for free to a needy recipient. A greedy king, his castle overflowing with riches and treasures, never smiles—and yearns for the one thing that will bring him laughter and happiness. As the story unfolds, the reader watches the king learn the most valuable lesson of his life. Under the quiltmaker’s guidance, the king is transformed as he gives away his precious things all around the world. He learns the true meaning of happiness by bringing joy to the lives of others. He finally begins to smile.The Quiltmaker tells the king he cannot receive one of her quilts unless he gives everything away. With each possession he gives away, she stitches another block of the quilt. The king, unlike the tree in The Giving Tree begins his giving grudgingly. Yet, the more he gives, the more he understands true generosity: he sees what joy his gifts give people, he learns more about what his own open-heartedness does for himself as well as for other people. He certainly becomes a better king and a more authentic human being. When he comes to the quiltmaker in the end, he is so changed that when she gives him the quilt, he suggests that she might like to have his throne, because it might be comfortable for her to sit in while making quilts. You can see that he has been changed, transformed by joy, by his own generosity, untrammeled by the worldly cares that used to tie him down.
Why does this book (and "Leaf by Niggle") feel so different to me, so much more in tune with my own values and faith than The Giving Tree? I mean, it's the same message, isn't it? Give everything away!
It really does feel different to me. I find it interesting that both Niggle and the King wanted something themselves (the tree that Niggle was trying to paint, and the quilt that the King coveted) but they only "got" their desired object when they stopped striving after it. They began turning away from their pursuit of that desired object and starting giving away things instead (Niggle gave his attention to his tasks and help to his neighbor, Parish, and the King gave away all his possessions. Eventually, Niggle received the tree, a truly living beautiful tree, created by the Divine, and the King received the Quilt). How, then, is this different from the tree in The Giving Tree giving away all of her things?
I was struggling to explain this to
cakmpls today, and I'm not sure I can quite do so. The giving that the tree did seemed (to me) oddly--empty, nonsustaining. When the tree gave her trunk away, it just disappeared. It didn't make compost for the forest floor around her. It didn't truly tie together the tree and the boy: once he had what he wanted from her, he abandoned her. And the tree seemed (to me) more and more barren and empty the more the boy took.Niggle and Parish seemed to grow in interest, sympathy and understanding toward each other. When the Voices judge Niggle and ask him to speak for himself, Niggle has been changed so much in his preparation after the onset of his journey (in what seems to be clearly Tolkien's Catholic conception of Purgatory) that his answer to the Voices' directive to speak in his own defense is only a humble inquiry to know how is neighbor Parish is doing.
Aargh, I'm not expressing myself clearly here at all. One thing that struck me forcibly in today's discussion was
cakmpls's comment (if I may summarize) that the fact that the tree was a stump at the end didn't bother her because that is what the natural end of trees must be. I said, half facetiously that a tree being cut down wasn't natural, that a more natural ending would be the tree trunk falling down, rotting away as food for grubs and shelter for foxes, and Mufasa would be there in the background singing "The Circle of Life." Yet cakmpls was getting at something true and real here: When we think about whether to be selfish with our time and possessions, it helps to remember that we will all be "stumps" in the end. We will all die, and be able to take nothing with us, so why hang onto things? Why not give them away? "Leaf by Niggle" is all about this journey into and after death, and I think The Quiltmaker's Gift is about it indirectly, too. I guess . . . what I'm struggling to articulate here is that in the course of giving everything away, Niggle and the King change in their relationship to their possessions, to their recipients of their possessions, and to themselves, in ways that fitted them for their journey toward death, and to fit them to meet the divine. I think that the way that they learned to give away was informed by some kind of divine grace so that it ennobled the recipients, too. We see this most clearly with Parish. We do NOT see this (at least I don't!) with the boy in The Giving Tree. (YMMV, of course)I find The Quiltmaker's Gift website to be extremely interesting and suggestive:
What value characterizes the work of quilters? Generosity! What keeps the cycle of generosity turning? People like you! Now Scholastic has decided to give back, too. Inspired by the powerful and personal response to The Quiltmaker's Gift, Scholastic, has donated $25,000 to organizations that exemplified the values and generosity portrayed in the book by the quiltmaker and the king...What the boy took in The Giving Tree didn't seem to me to be in that spirit at all. These charities chosen to honor the story of The Quiltmaker's Gift give me the feeling I was trying to pin down when I tried to rewrite The Giving Tree to be The Sharing Tree.
ABC Quilts
The Mission of ABC Quilts is two-fold, to send love and comfort to at-risk children -- particularly children who are HIV/AIDS-infected, alcohol/drug-affected or abandoned -- in the form of handmade baby quilts; and to use the process of creating these quilts as a tool for promoting awareness, informed choices and community service.
Like the generous spirit that informs the work of ABC Quilts, the King in The Quiltmaker's Gift comes to understand the value of reaching out and responding to those in need.
SOS Children's Villages-USA
SOS Children's Villages is the largest non-governmental child welfare organization in the world. For fifty years it has provided assistance to children in over 131countries. SOS Children's Villages-USA offers an innovative approach to the Foster Care system giving orphaned children stable, permanent homes in family-based communities.
In the course of the story, the King comes to understand something that is fundamental to the work of SOS Children's Villages — SA, that having a home is not about possessions, but about sharing love and giving attention where it is needed.
The Heifer Project International
The Heifer Project International helps impoverished families worldwide become self-reliant through the gift of livestock and training in their care. One of The Heifer Project's unique programs is called Read to Feed, a creative classroom teaching tool that motivates children to read books to help hungry people.
The spirit of self-reliance that The Heifer Project works to instill is the same spirit the King comes to exemplify. In the story he learns that the best gift is the one that keeps on giving — and bestows self-esteem and respect rather than dependency or material status. (Emphasis added)
*Sigh* That's the best I can do at explaining.
