Where is your heart?

[pegkerr]

I have been feeling strongly Elinor Dashwood-like lately, a feeling of outer reserve plastered over an interior sense of--well, never mind.

What is inside isn't pleasant. But I feel incapable of talking about it. So I feel tongue-tied and dull in this journal. Urgh.

I'm continuing to exercise (I did a mile and a half on the elliptical, beside the karate class today), but am also resorting to an unusual amount of unhealthy eating, sort of in a seeking-comfort-temper-tantrum kind of way: I'm pissed at my body for refusing to lose weight, despite all my efforts, and so the last three days, I've been like, screw it, I'll eat crap. This is really rather uncharacteristic of me. (Sign of stress?)

Perhaps I'll feel a little closer to normal in a day or two. Be patient with me, please, and I'll try to be patient with myself.

Comments

[sartorias.livejournal.com]

Could it be cycle related, at all? I ask this rhetorical question only because both my daughter and I experience 'eat crap' phases of our cycles. (Even now that I am into menopause, I still get it in weird punches)

[mayakda.livejournal.com]

I've always felt more of an affinity for Elinor than for Marianne. (did I spell her name right?)

I don't know if this applies to you but here's what I've found. I've been low-carbing for around 2+ years, and at times during the weight-loss phase I'd stall. Then if I cheated (ate crap) for a day or two, then went back to the approved food, the whoosh fairy would come in the night and take a pound or two off. Strange.