I don't want to quit

[pegkerr]

I went to karate class last night; it was the last class before pre-test for the next belt test. The thought of quitting at the end of December felt awful.

I don't want to quit. I don't. I'm going to look around for more options for gymnastics, and maybe I can find something cheaper. I think our budget is cut to the bone, but . . . geez. There has got to be a way.

Comments

I don't want to quit either...

[dreadmouse.livejournal.com]

I really hope you can find a way to continue. Karate is a wonderful way to exercise, so much better than most gyms. The sport is even potentially useful, and social, as well as a good workout.

My wife is 6 months pregnant with our first child, and I can feel the sand of my karate-time trickling away. I can't see any way of continuing to train at my current level with a newborn on the scene and it seems terribly selfish to continue to pay for lessons that I won't be attending, just so I can tell myself that I haven't quit.

Re: I don't want to quit either...

[pegkerr.livejournal.com]

Oh, yeah. You will be astounded at all the changes in priorities that happen when your baby arrives. I hope you'll be able to hang on to karate, too.

I can't remember whether I've told this to you before, but I have a couple of books to recommend to ANYONE who is about to have a first baby. These two books I found to be extremely interesting, practical and full of really good insights into the changes that take place in a couple's relationship when the first child arrives:

The Transition to Parenthood by Jay Belsky and

When Partners Become Parents: The Big Life Change for Couples by Carolyn Cowan and Philip Cowan. If you can't buy them, track them down from the library. Give them to your partner to read, too. You will learn so much from these two books.

Also, I really recommend instituting what Rob and I have done from the beginning: we have always made sure that each one of us gets one night out each week, no questions asked. His is on Thursday night, and mine is on Friday. Some couples get a babysitter each week so they get out as a couple, which is good, too, but for too many years we were too broke to do it. The night out is particularly important for your wife; so many women actually get their identity tangled with the baby in those first intense months of motherhood. I remember the time once when kijjohnson called and asked me how I was doing shortly after Fiona was born, and I didn't even realize until she pointed it out to me that I answered by telling her how Fiona was doing.

[callunav.livejournal.com]

I really really really hope you can find a way to keep training. Good luck.

[jcberk.livejournal.com]

How much does karate cost? I have no point of reference except $15-ish dance lessons. Is there any way Fiona and/or Delia can contribute to their lessons (babysitting, snow shoveling, etc.)?

[kiwiria.livejournal.com]

I really hope you can make it work! Are there any other karate classes nearby that might be cheaper? I know it'll be a bit of a hassle - but it might still be worth looking into?

[shalanna.livejournal.com]

You wouldn't be happy at a different dojo where the skill level might not be as high, so changing to somewhere that seems cheaper is not really the option to pursue, IMHO.

And I hate to be a big party pooper, but let me see if I understand this correctly. A counselor recommended that one of your daughters have something "all her own," and karate was settled upon. But then everyone else joined in and has surpassed her. This would seem to negate any benefits the counselor was aiming for, frankly, and I am thinking that it's really important to let her have something all her own this time. Of course my parents would have laughed their butts off at any counselor who suggested such for me (back then families were not child-centered so much but survival-centered), so I guess it's not so uncommon to use this as a learning experience for her, one that says you DON'T really ever have something of your own and you have to just appreciate what you have and learn to deal with life . . . I suppose it works both ways. However, I keep wondering whether there is not an intro to gymnastics at, say, the YMCA or the city recreation department. Here in Richardson (TX), we have two rec centers that both offer gymnastics by age group, and the semester is something like $40 or so. It isn't going to be Olympics-coach level stuff, of course, but it is gymnastics.

Maybe the school offers some kind of gymnastics thing after school as part of an after-school program?

Another idea comes to mind. Have you got any friends who have a specialty such as Middle Eastern Dance, Yoga, or whatever, and can you barter with that friend (bake a cake a week for her, write her resume, or something) to hold a class at her house for your daughter two afternoons a week? (Maybe while you are off at karate.) Gymnastics would be too dangerous without a spotter and more than one person watching, I think, but baton twirling or cheerleading or whatever (I am just grasping at straws here--I took baton, ballet, tap, and drama at various times and at various levels). Could she pursue playing the piano, even? That would put her in another venue entirely and would be non-competitive with other family members. Oops, piano would probably cost more than a class event, unless you could find a friend who would take her as a student in exchange for something you could barter. When I last took lessons, I paid nearly $100 for 45 minutes a week, but I am late intermediate/early advanced and was with a college professor from Russia (woo woo--you don't need that to start, just a nice neighbor who plays well.)

Barter is very useful with people who agree to it and who know in advance that some weeks may not feel as equal as others. My friend tutored a student in eighth grade math in exchange for learning how to knit. It worked well enough until after exam time, when the student was ready to slack off. (grin)

I don't know if any of this helps. Feel free to ignore.

[pegkerr.livejournal.com]

Delia is taking piano lessons with a neighbor already.

One option I'll have to think about is barter with karate: If I spend an hour and a half cleaning the dojo once a week, they'll cut a portion of the tuition price.