Random Sunday night notes

[pegkerr]

OMG, Fiona has HIT PUBERTY! I mean, everything is ANGST and WOE and OMG NOBODY UNDERSTANDS HER!!! Especially me. She doesn't understand herself, either, so at least I'm in good company. She is crying in the bedroom now, and she doesn't have the slightest idea why. Neither do I.

This afternoon, the girls and I went over to elisem's house and went upstairs to her magical attic where elisem makes art. Lois McMaster Bujold is right; it is rather like the attic in Vorkosigan House. She added the additional charms I had collected for my charm necklace (all the leaf beads are on now, Kij) and set up the girls' charm necklaces, too. And then we had tea and gingerbread. A charming way to spend an afternoon.

My house is a mess, and I have been lethargic about doing anything about it. I have been saying for, what, a month, to the girls "Clean up your room," and I try to help, but the task seems so enormous that everyone is ignoring me. I did not update the chore board. I did not plan the week's menus.

I did wash the shower curtain. And then scrubbed it by hand. Hurray for a clean shower curtain.

The girls passed their belt tests yesterday morning, did I say that? They are now red-stripe belts. They will go to one more lesson on Tuesday, and then we will be taking a break for the month of December. Fiona (and possibly I) will resume karate in January, and Delia will begin ballet.

My office is a mess, too. Where did all these papers on my floor come from?

Fiona is still crying.

Comments

[magentamn.livejournal.com]

Has Fiona literally hit puberty, i.e. gotten her first period? Has she had a rite of passage for this?

Elise would be a good person to talk to about rituals; I've helped with rites of passage, but probably more Pagan than you and your girls would probably feel comfortable with.

I don't know where the weekend went either. We put plastic on the inside of three windows. We didn't get to the Wallace and Grommit movie, or get winter clothes unpacked. The kitchen floor is horrible. Is it a virus, or is it pixies, messing up our homes. Do you think setting out bowls of milk might help?

Try bheer

[lsanderson.livejournal.com]

Then even if it's slugs, it might get 'em. ;-)

[peacockharpy.livejournal.com]

Oh, so many of my friends are going through this (they have daughters near your Fiona's age). Hang in there, it looks to be a bumpy ride.

The day with elisem does sound lovely, though.

[erzebet.livejournal.com]

I feel your confusion. I remember it well. It seemed that all three of my daughters hit puberty the minute, and I do mean the minute, that they turned 14 years old. Every one of them. Had nothing to do with biology that I could see. It was just the age. And it was awful, for all of us, but I can say from experience that this, too, shall pass. :)

[wilfulcait.livejournal.com]

Last week K, at 15, was sobbing on my shoulder because doing math at 9 pm. was a deadly combination. Sobbing and saying "and I don't even know why I'm crying!" in a very indignant voice. The hard part for her was realizing that when you become a teenager your sleep requirement goes up -- now when she's tired she'll put herself to bed early; last night she went to bed at 8:15.

[vass]

elisem has scalps?

Poor Fiona. Puberty sucks.

[la-belledame.livejournal.com]

Both you and Fiona have my sympathy. My Lucy was doing a full-tilt boogie into puberty all last year--in fifth grade! You'd say something to her and she'd either start yelling or burst into tears. It has since become full blown puberty, and she is only 11 and I'm still in a state of shock wondering where my baby girl went.

A couple of weeks ago, she was making tea for herself, my husband and me, and she called upstairs to ask which was my tea mug. Stephen started to get up. "She can't reach them." "What are you talking about?" I said. "Of course she can reach them. She's taller than I am!"

[psychic-serpent.livejournal.com]

I feel like coming up with a "You might be the parent of a teenager if..." list. And, of course, being a teenager really has very little to do with chronological age. When I recently said something to Gwen about Ben being a teenager soon (when we were in Salem it was about three weeks before his birthday) she said, "He's been a teenager for at LEAST a year and a half." (That was how long ago she stayed with us here in Philly and Ben was definitely doing the full oh-woe-is-me-no-one-understands-me routine.) She was right of course; I just meant that would become a teenager in the "formal", chronological age sense. :D

And, of course, Rachel has been a teenager at least since the age of nine, it seems. (They do say girls mature earlier.) She's got her ears pierced now, she has a boyfriend who asked her to the dance last spring and gave her jewelry for her birthday, she and her best friend squee over Daniel Radcliffe and Tom Felton (and her friend is also into Ashton Kutcher), plus she's already writing angsty H/G fanfic. She also has seen all seven seasons of Buffy at least twice (many episodes have been seen 5 or 6 times, especially the Halloween ones, which are always played for laughs), can quote liberally from the writings of Joss Whedon, is also into Angel, Friends, The Simpsons, Arrested Development... and reads young adults novels now much more than kids' books. (And some adult novels, too, having started reading Gregory Maguire's "Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister"). Oh, and don't even get me started on the bra issue...

I just hope she and her friends don't get all competitive over who gets their periods first. That was a really obnoxious part of adolescence I don't want her to have to live through. Honestly, the longer you get to wait for that to start the better (as long as you don't end up getting it for the first time at 17, like my sister, who, it turned out, had an eating disorder that screwed up her metabolism).

As it is, she recently attended a workshop on what constitutes sexual harrassment at her school because, now that the girls in sixth grade have 'developed' a bit, some boys' behavior has been, erm, less than appropriate. Yeah. Sexual harrassment in SIXTH GRADE. Which I do remember from when I was young, but we didn't have workshops about it. (The boys all reportedly giggled the entire time. Big surprise.)

That would be a fun one for the list, wouldn't it? "You may be the parent of a teenager if he or she is required to go to a sexual harrassment workshop..."

[volkhvoi.livejournal.com]

I remember reading, I think, A Distant Mirror, and realising that the Middle Ages, with all its angst, high romance and revenge, was run by teenagers. Suddenly, it all made ever so much more sense!

[mckitterick.livejournal.com]

Wow, it's happening earlier nowadays, isn't it? You both have my congratulations and sympathies.

Best,
Chris