A structure for decision making
Oct. 4th, 2006 01:51 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
pegkerrI can't remember where I read this recently (hmm, was it an article in a magazine?), but someone, somewhere suggested evaluating a decision by thinking about how you would feel about the results ten days from now, ten months from now, and ten years from now. (Edited to add: It was an article in the September issue of Oprah's magazine, and it's actually supposed to be ten minutes, ten days and ten years.)
So . . . if I decided to go back into karate, paying my tuition by cleaning the dojo . . .
Ten days from now, after resuming karate studies, I would probably be feeling rather sore. I would also be feeling the stress of my time being rearranged. I would be using more gasoline, and putting in more trips to the dojo. We would have to look at the apportionment of family responsibilities. Perhaps girls would take over cooking one night a week? Would the house get even messier? I think I would be happy about getting back into it, but I would be feeling doubts (again) about my physically being able to hack it. I would have started sparring again, and this might be a little emotional: when I quit last year, I really did not like sparring, and in fact cried a couple of times during sparring class. I would enjoy the fact that it is something I am sharing with the girls. Edited to add:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
tanaise sensibly points out that I need to also think about not just what the karate will bring to my life, but what will it mean for me to spend all that time cleaning. Hmm. It might mean dishpan hands! I think I would use my iPod to listen to audio books and podcasts, so it might be a very contemplative time. Peaceful. It might be annoying and exhausting, too, for all I know. The girls really wouldn't be able to help with the cleaning. It would have to either be in the morning, which would be inhumanly early (they have to be at the bus stop at 7:00 a.m.) or in the evening after the dojo closes at 9 p.m., and since their school start time is so early, we try to get them in bed at about 8:30 p.m.
Ten months from now: I would be in better shape, physically. I would be in the upper belt classes, which would mean (I hope) that my balance would be much better, and I would have more power in my kicks. Hopefully, I would be used to the time schedule by then. I would have a better-shaped butt (let us not scorn life's little rewards). I would like the feeling that I had when I was taking karate last year, the feeling of being a woman who is willing to push herself a bit beyond the usual. I liked being the sort of woman who didn't just hop on the elliptical to keep in shape. No, I would be in that class above and beyond, a woman who dares to put on pads and helmet and get in the ring and kick butt. Several times a week. On the other hand, my house might be somewhat messier, for lack of time. I think it would be even less likely that I would get back to writing, although who knows? Perhaps physical exertion might blow the cobwebs out of my mind?
Ten years from now. If I kept with the karate all through those ten years, I would be, let's see, perhaps a fourth degree black belt. Well, I don't know if I am willing to go that far in my studies, but still . . . I would be fifty-six years old, like one of our senseis, Ms. Angeles, who is in her fifties, and a fourth degree. I admire her tremendously. The girls would be out of the house, and so there wouldn't be anything in my schedule that would interfere with attending class. Sometime in those ten years financially it might be tight if I am stopped cleaning for time reasons and was still paying for lessons, as we would be putting the girls through college, but ten years from now, the girls would (hopefully) be out of college and on their own. I would be in great shape, much better than the average fifty-six year old, with excellent balance and flexibility.
And even if I stop somewhere in those ten years, say finishing up with just black belt first degree, I would have a black belt. That is really a super accomplishment. I would feel more confident as I grow older, less afraid that I might be a target as I age. Having better balance would protect me from the sorts of injuries that are so dangerous for women as they grow older. I would be continuing to interact with people who are interested in physicality, many of whom are much younger than me. One of the things I fear as I age is that I would let myself become stultified, more timorous, less willing to try new things. If I kept on with karate, I would always be meeting new people. Heck, if I am a fourth degree, I might even be teaching karate.
This is an interesting thought exercise.mayakda raised a good question: if I am going to do this, what will I take the time from? Well, the first thought is "sleep," which probably isn't wise. Realistically, however, it would probably be taken from "time I spend in front of the computer." Which isn't writing time, as I am not writing at all now, but "time trolling through websites." It might be a good thing to cut back on that sort of thing anyway.
mayakda and others have also realistically asked, couldn't you find another, cheaper dojo which doesn't use long-term contracts? Well, perhaps I could. But we like this dojo. It is close and convenient. The teachers are really great, and we've been studying here for years. I'm not keen on going to find another dojo which is farther away and starting all over again. And our next door neighbor's daughter is also working towards her black belt, and that means car-pooling, which is a big, big help.
Upon looking over my responses here, it looks as though I am leaning towards doing it. I can't help but be reminded of how much I agonized over my decision about quitting graduate school. It feels like there were some of the similar dynamics (oh, I can't afford to continue). And ten years later, yes, it still stings that I gave up and never got that degree.
I also think of that classic letter to Ann Landers by someone who wrote because he was having difficulty deciding whether or not to go to medical school. "If I go to medical school, I'd be fifty years old by the time I finished, seven years from now." Ann replied, "And how old would you be in seven years if you hadn't gone to medical school? You'd still be fifty years old--except without the degree."
Edited to add again: There is another sensei that I think I should speak with to ask her about her experience. She, too, got her black belt right before age fifty, and she financed her studies partly by cleaning the dojo, since her kids were studying, too, and they couldn't afford to pay tuition for all of them. She's a second degree now. I think I will ask her about how she felt about it.
So . . . if I decided to go back into karate, paying my tuition by cleaning the dojo . . .
Ten days from now, after resuming karate studies, I would probably be feeling rather sore. I would also be feeling the stress of my time being rearranged. I would be using more gasoline, and putting in more trips to the dojo. We would have to look at the apportionment of family responsibilities. Perhaps girls would take over cooking one night a week? Would the house get even messier? I think I would be happy about getting back into it, but I would be feeling doubts (again) about my physically being able to hack it. I would have started sparring again, and this might be a little emotional: when I quit last year, I really did not like sparring, and in fact cried a couple of times during sparring class. I would enjoy the fact that it is something I am sharing with the girls. Edited to add:
tanaise sensibly points out that I need to also think about not just what the karate will bring to my life, but what will it mean for me to spend all that time cleaning. Hmm. It might mean dishpan hands! I think I would use my iPod to listen to audio books and podcasts, so it might be a very contemplative time. Peaceful. It might be annoying and exhausting, too, for all I know. The girls really wouldn't be able to help with the cleaning. It would have to either be in the morning, which would be inhumanly early (they have to be at the bus stop at 7:00 a.m.) or in the evening after the dojo closes at 9 p.m., and since their school start time is so early, we try to get them in bed at about 8:30 p.m.Ten months from now: I would be in better shape, physically. I would be in the upper belt classes, which would mean (I hope) that my balance would be much better, and I would have more power in my kicks. Hopefully, I would be used to the time schedule by then. I would have a better-shaped butt (let us not scorn life's little rewards). I would like the feeling that I had when I was taking karate last year, the feeling of being a woman who is willing to push herself a bit beyond the usual. I liked being the sort of woman who didn't just hop on the elliptical to keep in shape. No, I would be in that class above and beyond, a woman who dares to put on pads and helmet and get in the ring and kick butt. Several times a week. On the other hand, my house might be somewhat messier, for lack of time. I think it would be even less likely that I would get back to writing, although who knows? Perhaps physical exertion might blow the cobwebs out of my mind?
Ten years from now. If I kept with the karate all through those ten years, I would be, let's see, perhaps a fourth degree black belt. Well, I don't know if I am willing to go that far in my studies, but still . . . I would be fifty-six years old, like one of our senseis, Ms. Angeles, who is in her fifties, and a fourth degree. I admire her tremendously. The girls would be out of the house, and so there wouldn't be anything in my schedule that would interfere with attending class. Sometime in those ten years financially it might be tight if I am stopped cleaning for time reasons and was still paying for lessons, as we would be putting the girls through college, but ten years from now, the girls would (hopefully) be out of college and on their own. I would be in great shape, much better than the average fifty-six year old, with excellent balance and flexibility.
And even if I stop somewhere in those ten years, say finishing up with just black belt first degree, I would have a black belt. That is really a super accomplishment. I would feel more confident as I grow older, less afraid that I might be a target as I age. Having better balance would protect me from the sorts of injuries that are so dangerous for women as they grow older. I would be continuing to interact with people who are interested in physicality, many of whom are much younger than me. One of the things I fear as I age is that I would let myself become stultified, more timorous, less willing to try new things. If I kept on with karate, I would always be meeting new people. Heck, if I am a fourth degree, I might even be teaching karate.
This is an interesting thought exercise.
mayakda raised a good question: if I am going to do this, what will I take the time from? Well, the first thought is "sleep," which probably isn't wise. Realistically, however, it would probably be taken from "time I spend in front of the computer." Which isn't writing time, as I am not writing at all now, but "time trolling through websites." It might be a good thing to cut back on that sort of thing anyway.mayakda and others have also realistically asked, couldn't you find another, cheaper dojo which doesn't use long-term contracts? Well, perhaps I could. But we like this dojo. It is close and convenient. The teachers are really great, and we've been studying here for years. I'm not keen on going to find another dojo which is farther away and starting all over again. And our next door neighbor's daughter is also working towards her black belt, and that means car-pooling, which is a big, big help.Upon looking over my responses here, it looks as though I am leaning towards doing it. I can't help but be reminded of how much I agonized over my decision about quitting graduate school. It feels like there were some of the similar dynamics (oh, I can't afford to continue). And ten years later, yes, it still stings that I gave up and never got that degree.
I also think of that classic letter to Ann Landers by someone who wrote because he was having difficulty deciding whether or not to go to medical school. "If I go to medical school, I'd be fifty years old by the time I finished, seven years from now." Ann replied, "And how old would you be in seven years if you hadn't gone to medical school? You'd still be fifty years old--except without the degree."
Edited to add again: There is another sensei that I think I should speak with to ask her about her experience. She, too, got her black belt right before age fifty, and she financed her studies partly by cleaning the dojo, since her kids were studying, too, and they couldn't afford to pay tuition for all of them. She's a second degree now. I think I will ask her about how she felt about it.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2006-10-04 07:22 pm (UTC)I've never seen that 10 days, 10 months, 10 years structure before. Looks really useful! *steals*
And it looks like you've made up your mind! Cool!
(no subject)
Date: 2006-10-04 07:49 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-10-04 07:56 pm (UTC)Along with that I was wondering--is this cleaning hour based (ie, exactly 1.5 hours), is it job based (one job which should take 1.5 hours) and also, is it something that you would have to do by yourself, or could your daughters help (which, assuming they didn't act like they were being tortured might be nice for bonding and such)? For that matter, a lot of my friends clean to get rid of writer's block, so what could you *gain* from the time you'll spend cleaning?
(no subject)
Date: 2006-10-04 08:26 pm (UTC)As to what I would gain from the cleaning, hmm. Dishpan hands! I think I would use my iPod to listen to audio books and podcasts, so it might be a very contemplative time. Peaceful. It might be annoying and exhausting, too, for all I know.
There is another sensei that I think I should speak with to ask her about her experience. She, too, got her black belt right before age fifty, and she financed her studies partly by cleaning the dojo, since her kids were studying, too, and they couldn't afford to pay tuition for all of them. She's a second degree now. I think I will ask her about how she felt about it.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-10-04 09:55 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-10-04 11:04 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-10-05 02:40 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-10-04 10:42 pm (UTC)I'd go for it, but see if you can't run the trial period with the cleaning.
But that's just me :)
(no subject)
Date: 2006-10-04 11:58 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-10-05 01:13 am (UTC)