Still trying to think this through . . .

[pegkerr]

I had a long talk with Rob this morning. He has had a long-standing arrangement that he is supposed to get off Fridays by 5:00 anyway, because Friday has been my designated night out for years (although sometimes the manager "forgets" this and schedules Rob later on Friday, as he did this week, scheduling Rob until 7 p.m., and then Rob has get him to change the schedule again.)

I asked Rob what would be the chance that he could convince the manager to release him by 5 p.m. on Mondays, too. Rob was very doubtful that this would be possible, since there is another employee taking a night class and so can't close, so the manager has been scheduling Rob for close on Monday nights. But if Rob could get out by 5:00 p.m. on Monday and Fridays, then, possibly he could get to the dojo by about the time the girls are done with their class (at 6:20 p.m.)

Our karate dojo is in a strip mall, and there is a Subway and a quick-stop Mexican restaurant there. We are also driving our next-door neighbor kiramartin's daughter to class on Mondays and Fridays, and it would be a bit awkward to eat in front of her. But, if Rob can get off Mondays and Friday nights, he could hopefully pick all three girls up at a reasonable time and bring them home. He could pick up Subway to go and bring it home with him for him and the girls, or he could just bite the bullet and cook something when he gets there. I could grab a meal at Subway between classes and do my class at 7:00 on Mondays and Fridays. Maybe we could make a ritual for Monday nights, that we would have dessert together when I get home.

I would just kiss off the Wednesday class for myself. It is just too difficult to do with Fiona doing confirmation. But if Rob can get off Monday and Friday night, then I would get three of the four classes: Monday, Friday and Saturday. The girls would get home at a reasonable hour and at least have dinner with their daddy. We would still have family dinner on Tuesday, Saturday and Sunday. (Thursday is Rob's night out, Friday is mine.)

Rob is going to ask his manager whether this might be possible. We won't know until next week, since the manager is on vacation until then.

Gah. It's the best that I can do.

Comments

[cakmpls.livejournal.com]

You could also have dinner in the crockpot for them to eat when they get home. Can't either Rob or Fiona dish up dinner?

Also--but don't tell Rob this--it isn't absolutely essential that he be there by exactly 6:20, is it? The girls can wait around for 10 or 15 minutes if necessary.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Family dinners were important to me in my childhood, and they're important to me now. But sometimes that meant that we were all pulling together to make some tight bit of scheduling work, and everyone pulling together and being a little flexible to make dinner go was also a good family thing. If you end up with that choice, I hope that your girls see it that way.

Good luck figuring it all out.

[kishmish.livejournal.com]

I hope this works out for you. *crosses fingers*

[cakmpls.livejournal.com]

Also--I know all the studies about the importance of family dinners. But they aren't the only way to develop and maintain a strong and stable family. We gave up on them fairly early on, with the arrival of R, who as a toddler was not someone anyone would want to eat dinner with, and my mother, who was not always able to come to the table (almost always, someone went to her room to eat with her). But we've wound up with adult and teenage kids who are closer to us and to each other than many--dare I say, perhaps most--families are.

OTOH, my family of origin always had family dinners, and they were one of the worst parts of my days. Context, context is all.

[tanaise.livejournal.com]

If the manager can't let him have mondays off early, what about Wednesdays? Would that make it possible, or would it not help?

And while we had family dinners pretty much the whole time I was living at home, there is something to be said about spending extra time with just one parent--either parent, really, but one at a time, instead of as a whole family--so I don't think there's anything wrong with the girls having two nights a week that they eat with just their dad. When I was growing up, my mom went back to work at some point and wasn't home for dinner monday/wed/friday, which became nightly dinners with just my dad, and felt special for a very long time, even though I was old enough to know *why* it was the case, it just felt like a treat. (Compared to after the divorce, when dinner with my dad three nights a week felt like a horrible torture. :)

[hobbitbabe.livejournal.com]

You know, that's true. Whether the one parent chooses to keep the same dinner rituals or chooses to change some of the customs (our Dad used to make pancakes, order pizza, let the kids cook, eat in the living room or backyard, serve pop instead of milk, etc when Mum wasn't home, and I used to serve more reliably kid-friendly food and not stress about table manners on nights when I didn't have another parent backing me up), it's still time with a parent. It might be very valuable if you *don't* leave a crock-pot dinner on your karate nights - organizing Subway together might be more fun for all of them than serving up a dinner that you organized.

I like so much of what I hear about you being intentional in your parenting, including the example that all parents are entitled to "nights off" and interests of their own.

[minnehaha.livejournal.com]

It might help if you know if the class schedule will change, and when, if not precisely to what. I've found that asking for special scheduling works a little better if you can tell them that you only need it until the end of the semester, or whatever it is.

K.

[gamps-garret.livejournal.com]

Gah. It's the best that I can do.

Then it is what it is, and how the world can help you is up to the world. Congratulations on living a super-mom life on the grid once more. I'm really impressed.

[pegkerr.livejournal.com]

I received your tea! Thank you! I will have a cup tonight to help soothe the stress. It was so very kind of you to send it.

[gamps-garret.livejournal.com]

I'm so glad, and you're very welcome. Consider me a pass-it-on messenger -- another livejournaller sent me several varieties from that company some months back -- I ordered another sampler for myself, with the intention of passing on the particularly good bits. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

[trinker.livejournal.com]

*fingers crossed for you*

[leiabelle.livejournal.com]

*points up* What she said.

[leiabelle.livejournal.com]

Er, *she* being gamps_garret. I could've sworn I clicked on "reply to this" under her comment, but oh well.