More agony

[pegkerr]

Fiona stayed up late late late to try to do the calendar all over again. She did a half way decent job, I guess, and so is off to school with only five hours of sleep under her belt. And overflowing with tears again--because with all the trauma over the lost calendar, she completely forgot the OTHER graphic design assignment that was due today, and hence will get a zero on THAT.

God give me strength.

Comments

[aeditimi.livejournal.com]

how frustrating! I can remember doing this about a zillion times when I was in middle school. I don't know how my mother survived.

if you find the calendar tomorrow night in her bedroom, i suggest burning it...

hang in there.

[next-bold-move.livejournal.com]

I did this a lot in elementary and middle school, so my teachers and parents made me write down my assignments on a sheet that the teachers then initialed to confirm for my parents that this was, in fact, the homework that I had for that night.

They made me into a compulsive list-maker.

[next-bold-move.livejournal.com]

Oh, and by the way: Icon LOVE.

[pegkerr.livejournal.com]

Thanks for a badly needed laugh!

[folk.livejournal.com]

You know, I wish somebody had explained how to manage my time and assignments when I was about Fiona's age. It'd have saved a lot of bother later in life.

Have you considered explaining, say, the Franklin Planner system to her? (You may well already have done this, of course...) It doesn't have to be an Official FranklinCovey Planner™, because those are darned expensive, but the general idea is (a) master task list (b) monthly planner (c) daily planner (d) daily, prioritised task list (e) space for all one's working notes.

The trick is to have it in a size and format that works for whoever's using it -- I know several people who make and xerox their own onto Letter or Legal size paper, hole-punch them, and stick them in a Trapper Keeper (or whatever the kids are using these days) because they want more than the regular template offers.

[pegkerr.livejournal.com]

She does has a school-provided planner, and she is required to use it. Things still drop entirely out of her brain.

I blame the genetics on her father's side; he is USELESS at remembering things.

[pegkerr.livejournal.com]

Fortunately, this is one of the things that the high school she will be attending really hammers on, to help kids prepare for college. I am sure it will take a lot of hammering with her before it will sink in.

I have been known to joke that my girls have the memories of gnats.

[sraun]

Hmm - maybe they should talk to iraunink sometime about bad memory and coping strategies? She's had years of practice! (I had her read this - she was agreeable to being volunteered.)

[folk.livejournal.com]

See, I never found the school-provided planners much use at all, because life was always about more than just school -- it was fitting in choir practice and travel and extracurricular stuff in that made them fall down for me, so I just stopped using them.

The key part of a good planner system is that it obviates the need for remembering things! That's what the master to-do list is for -- the minute you think of something you write it down so you don't have to remember it. It's picked up when you make your weekly/daily to-do list. Seriously, I used to be useless at remembering things, and this makes me so much more effective.

I'm in the brainstorming stage for a book called "The Disorganised Genius", can you tell? :D

[snippy]

Planners only work if you remember to look at them, though.

[folk.livejournal.com]

True! However, from the perspective of a parent (or a boss!) a "look at your planner; what's your priority and Carry List for the day?" is easier than "did you remember the calendar, your karate bag and your Chem books?"

[volkhvoi.livejournal.com]

And don't leave them on the top of a public telephone....

[elfundeb.livejournal.com]

I really sympathize with Fiona's crisis. Unfortunately, if genetics is the problem, no planner will help. I've tried many, many times to use calendars, planners, etc. to organize my life and I simply forget to consult them (though the act of writing something down does sometimes help me remember). In any event, planners don't keep me from losing things. (I've lost two cellphones; my children are appalled at my inability to remember important things.)

The only thing that ever worked was posting reminders on doors or writing notes on my hand.

[aome.livejournal.com]

Some of it is hormonal, too. I'm KNOWN for my good memory, and I forgot all kinds of school-related stuff - projects, where I put my keys, leaving my lunch at home, etc - during middle/high school. My brain cells came back. There's just too much going on in an adolescent's head. Hopefully things will improve for her as she gets older.

*offers calorie-free hot chocolate to all*

[dreamshark.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but she didn't forget to DO the assignment, she just lost it. All the planning in the world won't protect you from a moment of forgetfulness, or from dropping something accidentally. It's even possible that another kid stole her project for some reason.

[phoenixsong]

Augh! But yes, there are mean kids who steal things. I had at least two shoulder rests for my violin stolen from outside the cafeteria in middle school -- stolen, I'm sure, by people who had no use for them and just wanted to see me squirm.

[folk.livejournal.com]

Oh, yes, one of my teachers once tied my backpack to my leg for a day to teach me not to leave it behind anywhere. That actually worked quite well...

[snippy]

One of my sons had the problem in a different form: he'd do all his homework, stick it in his binder, take the binder to class, but forget to pull out the homework and turn it in.

Because he had other learning problems he ended up on an IEP and one of the things that made a difference because of the IEP was that he got help: he was reminded once a day while working with the special ed teacher to go turn in the homework in all of his classes. It was being reminded daily that helped.

Maybe Fiona needs more supervision on a daily basis. (Maybe nevertheless you aren't able to give her that because you're stretched in so many ways already.) Is there someone you could ask to help her with this? Have a daily time (after school?) to go over what homework was assigned, and when it's due, and check each day on her progress?

She might seem mature enough to handle this in other ways, but as she's obviously having trouble, put the training wheels back on.

When my kids were too old for daycare but a little young to be completely unsupervised, I made them call me as soon as they got home from school. We'd go over the homework assignments (just what they were, not actually working on them on the phone!) and I'd remind them to have a snack then work on homework till I got home. That daily routine helped them. That's not to say we didn't have our share of staying up late Sunday night to finish what got ignored all weekend.

[ann-totusek.livejournal.com]

Teenagers... can't live with 'em, can't kill 'em. Too much paperwork. I'm right in there with ya Peg!

[nmalfoy.livejournal.com]

Growing up isn't easy, is it? I feel for her, but the more painful the lesson, the better it sticks. So here's hoping she won't have to learn this lesson again! And she's learning coping strategies to deal with life's stresses too, and that's never easy.

*pours you a drink*

[psychic-serpent.livejournal.com]

Good. Lord.

:hugs:

[alfreda89.livejournal.com]

Hang in there.

Maybe the call you when they're home, tell you what their homework is for each class bit might work? Even if they just talk to your answering machine, it puts it up front in their heads, going over each class of the day?

[naomikritzer]

The notebook suggestions here reminded me of a scene in one of the later Miles Vorkosigan books where the former head of the secret police refers to his notebook as a "prosthetic memory." ITA about planners -- they're useful if you can get into the habit of really using them, but then if you lose it you are utterly and completely screwed.

I hope things went okay and the art teacher was not too nasty about it.