Changes

[pegkerr]

So, now we have entered a new phase, the Period of Unemployment.

This has all been like a very very slow motion crisis, sort of like, you've seen this train coming down the tracks toward you for the past two months and you're flinching in slow motion, because you know it's going to hit you in about another month. Which is very peculiar, when you think about it. We heard about the layoff two months ago and did our best to prepare. Now, he no longer works, but our money flow is roughly the same because of the severance check. In a month, severance stops and unemployment kicks in, so his income drops to sixty percent. In six months, unemployment stops. And then the tides of darkness sweep in.

Right now, I think, well, this isn't so bad, really. And yet I know, realistically, if he doesn't find a job, I can only look forward to things getting much, much worse. The anxiety would be so much easier to bear if I just knew the end of the story.

But right here, right now, it is unexpectedly pleasant, which given my underlying fear, seems so odd. Rob is home on the weekends. Do you have any IDEA what a luxury that seems like to me? Rob is there to make pancakes on Saturday morning, which was one of our most cherished family rituals, and I fiercely resented CompUSA for robbing our family of that precious, simple thing for so many years. Rob is there to help Fiona with math homework after school. Rob is available to take girls to karate. Oh. My. God. I am not doing each and every karate run. What a concept. It makes me fully realize what a burden it had been for me for so long, doing all the chaffeuring, and I didn't even entirely recognize it until now. He can take the girls to karate, and then I'll have a hot cooked dinner waiting for them when he brings them home again (which my picky eaters probably won't eat, but at least it's waiting for them. But I digress).

So I'm enjoying it. But I'm trying to brace myself. It's going to get harder as the money runs out. How much worse will it get? How long will we have to wait before he finds a job and so I don't have to fear the roof caving in financially anymore?

I have no idea. And although I am cautiously enjoying this (short) idyllic phase, I don't handle insecurity very well.

This is pleasant, and very hard at the same time. How strange.

(One definite drawback, however: the house seems even messier since he's home all the time. Argh.)

Comments

[firedragon9.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[silme.livejournal.com]

[silme.livejournal.com]

I went through this situation about this time last year when the company for which my husband used to work went bankrupt; he lost his job through no fault of his own. It was very sudden, and he wasn't even paid for the first two weeks of May. He still hasn't been.

It was right to unemployment, which was something like 40% of his salary. I was working throughout it all and still am, but I make less than he did/does. (Teachers in England are paid far less than teachers in the US, alas.)

Luckily, he was picked up a mere two months later as a consultant by two of his former customers who liked him and hated his boss (the one who drove the company to ruin). He's still freelance and the money isn't as timely as it used to be (not a regular pay day per se -- he's paid when he bills them), but it's coming in and we were back to normal by autumn. Thankfully.

Hang in there. I know how rough it is.

[naomikritzer]

I had a very similar experience last year when Ed was laid off. There was the long period of tension before the layoff (a two-month oncoming train is a great comparison) and then having him home was really pleasant. Not that Ed worked the crazy hours Rob worked, but I had to do this crazy routine with Molly's preschool where I'd drop her off, drive home as quickly as I could, try desperately to get Kiera down for a nap, then wake Kiera up and put her in the car to drive back to pick her up again. It was the nap thing that really drove me nuts. Anyway, Ed took over a huge chunk of the driving and it was so, so, so nice. We'd had a really horrible fall (his mother had died in October; prior to that, he spent about a month total away from home in New England, in two chunks) and having him home was like a vacation. A very low-budget vacation.

If I'd only known the ending of the story (he was rehired by HealthPartners in a new job that he absolutely loved and we wound up not only OK but better off) it would have been positively idyllic. As it was, there was the lovely relaxing "it's so nice to have you home, this makes my life so pleasant and easy!" part with the underscore of "OMG what if he can't find another job, what if the job he finds pays half what the old one did, what if we have to move, whatifwhatifwhatif" at the same time.

I wish I could just look in a crystal ball for you and reassure you that Rob will also be hired in a month into a much better job.

[jbru.livejournal.com]

If Rob's anything like me (let's see: geeky, messy ... it's possible) he'll get tired of sitting 'round the house within a month, if not sooner. Plus if he's been looking already, the wait will probably be shorter. I found that there seemed to be quite a few consulting type positions in the technical field and that might be a stop-gap for him if he's trying to get back into legal work.

[nmsunbear.livejournal.com]

For a second I thought you meant "legal work" as opposed to ILLEGAL work. :)

Hang in there, Peg. At least there are upsides.

[phoenixsong]

Having been on the sucky contract/unemployent merry-go-round myself, yeah, I'd enjoy the time off for about a month, and then the money anxiety kicked in hardcore.

Hopefully Rob's turn is fairly short, and lands him in a position with better, more regular hours.

[katakanadian.livejournal.com]

You guys have managed an incredibly busy life so far, I'm sure you will be able to sort your way out of this. It will be hard though. Take a moment to count your blessings.

*hugs*

[bohemianspirit.livejournal.com]

And then the tides of darkness sweep in.

Or maybe by then Rob has gainful employment. ;-)

This might be a good time to read some stuff about mindfulness and living in the present moment: a bit of Jon Kabat-Zinn or Thich Nhat Hanh, perhaps. It sounds like you are also seeing the bright side of this situation; you just need to not let your what-ifs and worries about the future crowd out your appreciation of the here and now.

Whatever happens, happens, and you WILL find a way to navigate it. Trust me. If, that is, you can trust a woman who has picked up the habit of saying HOOT. ;-)

P.S. - Don't do what I did, after I left a traumatic job situation a few years back, and read something depressing like (my selection) All Quiet on the Western Front. This is a time for reading uplifting stuff about hope and healing and happy endings.

[pazlazuli.livejournal.com]

Things will work out. Truly they will... In the meantime,the pancakes sound really good...

many hugs....
Paula

[brithistorian.livejournal.com]

Having been through the whole "unemployment" thing last year, I can definitely empathize with you about the uncertainty being terrible. Hopefully you won't have to be uncertain for too long, and hopefully when the uncertainly leaves it will be because Rob sound something better than CompUSA was.

[alfreda89.livejournal.com]

(One definite drawback, however: the house seems even messier since he's home all the time. Argh.)

Hand him a Grabit dustcloth and point him toward the bookshelves?

Pick up any item you have repeatedly asked to have picked up and put it away in a box. Costs .25 to get it out of hock. Money saved toward something fun -- either for entire family or for you!

[sarekofvulcan.livejournal.com]

Sounds familiar. Between the time I got fired from Microsoft (undiagnosed ADD and und. sleep apnea make a _bad_ combination) and the time the car got repossessed (ending the pizza delivery job, grrr), we got a lot of local travelling in, including our only trips to Olympic National Park and the Pacific Ocean.