Vanity, thy name is woman

[pegkerr]

Thanks for all of those who encouraged me to attend my high school reunion. I have decided to go. I have also decided, out of sheer vanity, that I want to start a program to ensure that I look drop-dead gorgeous when I show up. Exercise program resumes tomorrow. No sweets until after the reunion.

I also need a killer outfit.

Comments

[minnehaha.livejournal.com]

How formal is the event?

B

[pegkerr.livejournal.com]

"Cocktail attire"

[minnehaha.livejournal.com]

That's easy: short and elegent. Think understated rather than overstated. Classic would be a simple black sheath, perhaps with a smattering of beadwork, and jewlery to match. Add a perfect pair of pumps or sandals and a matching evening bag, and you're done.

The "killer" part of the outfit is all in the details: the neckline, the drape, the accessories.

I'd start at Dayton's and then try Neiman Marcus.

B

[alisgray.livejournal.com]

you have a feeling for this sort of thing I see, B.

the more-formal parts of my college reunion were a great sea of small black dresses. sort of the opposite of the May Day/Garden Party celebrations, where everyone was expected to wear white. always there were a few colorful saris, etc. in the crowd.

[bohemianspirit.livejournal.com]

Heh. I'm glad that my 20th reunion was basically "business casual," i.e., dress comfortably and casually but not like a total slob. I didn't have to spend a dime, just wear something decent, and had a good time, all the same. It ended up being hotter than hell that day, so a lot of us were in shorts and casual skirts, anyway, but no tattered jeans or anything really gross.

[redbird]

Exercise is excellent.

Small amounts of chocolate or other sweets--or large amounts of sweet, luscious, summer fruit--will do you no harm. A happy, smiling pegkerr will do much better at knocking them dead than a grumpy one, even if the grumpy one is 3 or 4 pounds lighter.

[roadnotes.livejournal.com]

Check out Indian clothing shops -- I now own two salwar kameez sets, and even some of the reasonable-to-inexpensive ones can be devastatingly gorgeous.

[minnehaha.livejournal.com]

Whether that counts as "killer" depends a lot on the locale. What might be georgous and exotic in New York might fall flat in the Midwest.

B

[pameladean]

Lydy wears them to work, and she looks stunning.

I'm not sure there's a lot of point in going to a lot of effort to look gorgeous only to other people, anyway. If Peg likes how she looks, that ought to be plenty.

Pamela

[minnehaha.livejournal.com]

"I'm not sure there's a lot of point in going to a lot of effort to look gorgeous only to other people, anyway. If Peg likes how she looks, that ought to be plenty."

The phrasing Peg used was "killer," which requires a victim. The whole point is to make an impression on other people; otherwise the metaphor fails.

It's tricky to apply fannish aesthetic rules in mundane settings. While it is certainly possible to pull off georgeous by breaking the rules, it's not something I would recommend unless you supremely confident and experienced in it. (Of course there are exceptions, but still....) The risk is that you end up just looking fannish (although the mundanes will have less kind monikers for that sort of look).

B

[pegkerr.livejournal.com]

The phrasing Peg used was "killer," which requires a victim. The whole point is to make an impression on other people; otherwise the metaphor fails.

Yeah, yeah, and maybe I was just being careless with my words.

[minnehaha.livejournal.com]

In general, I think the metaphors people choose--especially the ones they choose unconsciously--are very important. Metaphors are how we relate to, organize, process, and understand abstract concepts.

B

[pameladean]

I should probably bow right out of this discussion. I hate mundane standards like poison and have hated them since long before I met fandom.

Pamela

[queerasjohn.livejournal.com]

Great! Go you!

For outfits, as minnehaha said, how formal is it? That black ensemble at Nimbus with the iridescent green wrap was elegant and gorgeous, for example. Perhaps work something along those lines?

Alternatively, we could start a Queer Eye for you. :D

[pegkerr.livejournal.com]

I agree that the green coat would be perfect, BUT that was what I wore to the 20th reunion, so I want something else.

[kijjohnson.livejournal.com]

That green floaty thing you wore last Sunday is breathtaking. Unless you're looking for an excuse to buy something new, in which case, no, I'm afraid it simply won't do.:g:.

[pegkerr.livejournal.com]

Thanks, I like that dress, too, and yeah, I think it's pretty flattering, but it's an everyday dress to me. Want something that I don't wear to work already--and if I do manage to lose some more weight, and I have two more months to do so, I'd like to have something that would show that off a bit.

Hmm. *Must think more on this*

[minnehaha.livejournal.com]

If you want to do a walk around the lake some evening with some company, feel free to call. Or a bike ride; I have two bikes if you don't have one.

K.

[pameladean]

I thought the whole point of good exercise was that you didn't have to do all the awful "no sweets" stuff.

Frankly, while I am sure you could stand to be more fit, it really upsets me to see somebody as beautiful as you getting all fussed about weight.

Pamela

[candytaiyo.livejournal.com]

Knock 'em dead, Peg. ^_~

[bohemianspirit.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you decided to go, but don't waste too much energy on trying to impress people. ;-) An occasional scoop of Sebastian Joe's is more important than what other people think of how you look. Anyway, if the comments of people who know you in person are anything to go by, you are probably already quite fine as you are! Go to enjoy yourself and have a good time.

[(Anonymous)]

Not that I'm exactly a Fashion Queen myself, but I wanted to add a couple of thoughts.

1. Susie Bright suggests that for class reunions, rather than trying to crash diet down to a certain weight, you wear a corset. Quite seriously. They're uncomfortable, of course, but much less so than dieting, and less time-consuming. Also, you can shop with a better idea of your precise size (rather than buying clothes that are too small and swearing that you'll starve your way into them by reunion time). I have no idea where one would buy a corset, though. Well, unless you count control-top pantyhose. I had a tummy that stuck out even before my first pregnancy, so if I want to wear a dress made out of stretchy fabric (while not pregnant) I use control-top pantyhose to make it look like I have a flat tummy. I'd bet a lot of money that 90% of the time that you see someone over the age of 18 and think, "she must do 800 situps a night," she's wearing "shaping" underwear of one variety or another.

2. As Pamela said, you are a beautiful woman already. (You are also quite thin; exercise is always a good thing, but you really don't look like you need to lose weight.) If you really want to knock people dead, go find an outfit that you think looks fantastic on you _now_ -- something that you look into the mirror and feel beautiful in. Because really, a woman who feels confident in her own attractiveness is going to turn a lot more heads than a woman who is, by almost any standard, prettier, but is thinking, "if _only_ I'd managed to lose just five more pounds!" (And remember, if you DO see some classmate who looks like she could still fit into the jeans she wore senior year -- SHE'S probably wearing a corset, even if you aren't.)

3. For shopping, I'd encourage you to select a store to browse based on the level of confidence it will give you. If you will feel more beautiful in a dress from Daytons or Neiman-Marcus, that's where you should go. (I really like Daytons. I had a fall wedding to go to a few years back and realized the week before that I really needed a new dress, because the dress I'd planned to wear was way too warm for the weather we were having. I took my sister and we went and tried clothes on at Daytons for a while. I found a really stunning formal occasion dress for under $80, I think. I still love the way it looks on me -- or at least I did before I got pregnant, right now I'd have a heck of a time getting it zipped up.)

If it just makes you nervous to wear expensive clothing, you could get a basic black dress and then check out Savers for something to dress it up. Cost entirely aside, Savers is the best place in the world to buy funky blazers. Here's my usual procedure: I get a cart and head for the relevent section of the store (Blazers, Women's, Large ... or Dresses, Women's ... or whatever). I go through the rack and put _everything_ that catches my eye into my cart. Even if I don't initially think it's my style. Then I go try stuff on. Some items don't fit me well: those go right back on the "not getting this" rack. Some items look instantly terrible, and those go back, too. But sometimes I'll realize that something I didn't really think was my style, looks really excellent on me. I put all my "maybes" in a pile and then try them on again, checking for stains, missing buttons, etc. (since this is Savers, after all). Then I buy everything I liked for about $20. (I LOVE Savers!) The thing is, the normal clothes often really look used and kind of worn and scruffy. The blazers often look like they haven't been worn more than once (if that).

4. Regardless of where you go to shop, you might bring along one of your favorite pieces of jewelry and look for clothes that really show it off. You have a lot of really neat pieces of jewelry.

5. Before your reunion, have some pictures taken of yourself in your full ensemble and post them up so that all your LJ fans can tell you how absolutely drop-dead gorgeous you look.

--Naomi

[minnehaha.livejournal.com]

I agree with all of this advice.

B

[debellatrix.livejournal.com]

You go girl.

Heck, from what I saw at Nimbus, you *already* look fabulous.

[mark356.livejournal.com]

Same here!

[lcohen]

i thought you looked drop-dead gorgeous when i met you. i also thought that dark green was a fabulous color on you.

naomi had great advice--especially the part where you post pictures of whatever outfit you choose to wear.

i hope you have a great time!!