A very bad night

[pegkerr]

5:15 Peg gets home. Talk with Rob. Fiona is at school. I ask Rob whether he is picking her up, and he says that he doesn't on Monday nights; she's driven home by her friend Corwin's Dad on Mondays. (Rob and Corwin's dad share car-pooling duties on Mondays and Tuesdays, when both girls have after-school activities.)

5:25 Rob and Delia leave for Delia's 5:40 karate class. The plan is that I make dinner to be ready at about 6:30, giving me 15 minutes to eat with them before leaving for my 7:00 sparring class.

5:30 Fiona calls. "Where's Dad? He's supposed to pick me up." Perplexed, I tell Fiona that Rob told me that he didn't think he had to do so. "But Dad always drives on Mondays." I tell her that either Dad or I will come to pick her up.

5:35 I call the dojo to see if Rob has arrived there yet. I am told that he isn't there but Delia is. I ask to speak with Delia. "Where is Daddy? Did he leave to pick up Fiona? Fiona called asking where he is." Delia replies, perplexed, "I don't know where he is. He just dropped me off without saying where he was going." I curse under my breath and tell her, "Then I have to go pick up Fiona and Corwin. If he gets back, have him call me on the cell."

5:40 I leave a note for Rob, telling him what's going on in case he gets home, and adding that we will get him a cell phone because it is driving me crazy that he doesn't have one. I get changed into my gi, kiss the prospect of dinner goodbye, grab my sparring bag, and head out to the high school.

5:50 On the way there, I get a call on the cell from Rob, who is calling me from the dojo (he'd briefly gone to the pharmacy to get a prescription, which is why he wasn't at the dojo when I called earlier). I pull over and take the call, tell him that Fiona is expecting him to pick her and Corwin up. "Oh. Oh, right. Mondays. Yeah, I do those. Okay, I'll go get them." I refrain from swearing at him. Barely.

6:00 Arrive back home. Look through the cookbooks. Start making corn and red pepper chowder, something I haven't tried before. I look at the clock. If I hurry, I can still get it done by 6:30.

6:25 Fiona arrives home with Rob. "I have to get something to eat right away and then Daddy's driving me back to the high school for a robotics meeting." I tell her that dinner will be ready in five minutes, and she can wait that long. "I don't have time to wait that long," she says. I lose my temper. "You can wait five minutes for me to get dinner on the table. The robotics meeting isn't going anywhere." Fiona stomps up the stairs, furious.

6:30. I call for Rob and discover he isn't in the house. Neither is Delia. I call up the stairs for Fiona, who descends in high dudgeon to tell me that Rob went back to the dojo to get Delia.

"You mean she wasn't with you?" I ask, surprised.

"No, Dad had to drive Corwin home. So he didn't have time to go back to get Delia before driving me home to get something to eat."

I groan and wonder why the hell Rob didn't get Fiona something at Subway, right by the dojo. "That means I'll have to drive you back to school. Which means I'll be late to my own karate class." I put dinner on the table, the corn chowder, and start eating. Fiona, still furious, barely tastes it. I roll my eyes and tell her to get her shoes on and go out to the car. "Where's your coat?" I ask her as we head out the back door. (It's January. In Minnesota.) She flies into a fury again. "It's in the back of Dad's car! Which I thought I was going to be getting in again in one minute, but instead he went off without me. Which is why I don't have my coat."

6:45 Leave home with Fiona. Drive toward the high school

7:05 Arrive at the high school and drop Fiona off. I give her the cell phone.

7:15 Arrive for my class, which started at 7:00. Kit up for sparring. It feels really, really good to hit things.

7:40 Sparring class is over. Use the dojo phone to call the cell phone that Fiona now is holding to see if her meeting is over yet. No answer. Apparently, there is no cell phone coverage in the high school. I call Rob, who tells me that Fiona hasn't called there, "but she said she'd come outside Door 3 at 8:00."

7:45 Leave dojo

8:00 Arrive at high school. Wait outside door 3.

8:20. Where the hell is she? I go inside the school and try to find the robotics meeting. The school is huge, and I don't know where the meeting is. I wander all over the school but cannot find her.

8:30 Come back outside again to see if she's emerged yet from door 3. She hasn't.

8:40 I go back inside the school again and in desperation, ask to use the cell phone of someone else in the building. I call the cell phone. No coverage. I call the home. Rob says that Fiona said she'd be meeting in the wood shop. The man who kindly lent me the cell phone tells me that the school doesn't have a wood shop anymore. I barely refrain from tearing my hair out.

8:45 I run down a janitor who directs me to the robotics meeting. Inside I find Fiona. "We'll be done at 9:00," she tells me. With great self-restraint, I refrain from dragging her out of the meeting, tell her that I'll be waiting outside door 3.

9:00 Fiona finally emerges from the meeting and comes out door 3. Drive home. Rob reports that he ate two bowlfuls of the soup "even though it was pretty bland," but Delia barely ate any of the soup, either.

Rob and Fiona are getting cell phones just as soon as I can possibly arrange it. I don't want to go through an evening like this again anytime soon. Garraharhwwraaowaow.

Comments

[madlori.livejournal.com]

I'm tired, frustrated and furious just READING this.

*hugs*

[maribou]

What she said! Oy.

[cheshyre]

ditto.

You have my sympathies for having to deal with the situation.

[Stupid question, but do you keep any books onhand for when you're stuck waiting outside the school like this? Sometimes, I find losing myself in a book can keep me from stressing in situations like that. It won't help the overall problem, but might make that portion easier to cope with.]

[pegkerr.livejournal.com]

Ordinarily I do, but I didn't last night, since I was juggling all my sparring equipment, and I didn't expect I'd be waiting so long.

[naomikritzer]

Oh my GOD, what a NIGHT. This is my worst nightmare as a carpooler -- that I'll flake out. I worry about that much more than I worry about the other parent flaking out.

FYI, Virgin Wireless sells very cheap pay-as-you-go phones that are very economical for occasional use. (Mine cost $20. Ed lost his and was able to buy a refurbished replacement for $8 via their website. The minutes are expensive but if you use it only occasionally, it's the cheapest option I've found.) If Fiona would use up the minutes texting friends and then be unable to take your calls because she was out of minutes, there's a cell phone company that sells pay-as-you-go phones that have multiple "wallets" with restrictions you can designate. So for example, you could have a wallet that refills off your credit card that can make and receive calls to a set list of numbers (all family members, grandparents, emergency contacts, etc.) and a separate wallet that she has to buy minutes for that would be used for all other purposes. You can also set it to allow calls to/from only pre-approved numbers, you can set it not to work during school hours, there are all kinds of options. It costs more than a Virgin phone, though, I'm pretty sure.

That won't fix the "signal can't get into the high school" problem, though; that tends to be inherent to big, heavy, brick buildings.

[http://users.livejournal.com/anam_cara_/]

I'm so happy with Virgin Mobile for my teen (a great fit for him!!) that I've decided to go with them myself rather than being roped into yet another two-year commitment. They have monthly payments and by the minute plans and you can switch as you go according to need. It costs us only about $5 a month, and he's good at using it mainly for staying in touch with his growing independence, and the text messages are cheap and in moderation.

[eal.livejournal.com]

My "work" cell phone is a Virgin Mobile and I swear if it weren't for the fact that my entire family is on Sprint, I would go with them for my personal cell as well.

I would definitely endorse it for "light" users.

[http://users.livejournal.com/anam_cara_/]

Yes, I think that's another reason I'm switching to them, I've become a much lighter cell user, now that I have a convenient land line plan. I really like that the plan can be adjusted anytime. So if we go on vacation and we know we'll be using it a lot, then we change it for that month for monthly plan with 300+ minutes instead of a minute-to-minute plan.

I'm also a bit hard on my cell phone, so it's cheaper to replace a $20 phone than pay $5 a month for insurance on a phone that is supposed to last me for two years.

[mizzlaurajean.livejournal.com]

Oh my ghod I'd kill them! Well not really but I'd be really T'd off. That sounds so unfun.

[kijjohnson.livejournal.com]

gRRRRRRRRGTTRRRRRRRrrrrrr

You can call me if you like.

[http://users.livejournal.com/anam_cara_/]

Sounds frustrating to all involved! I hope the rest of the week goes better!

[dichroic.livejournal.com]

Sounds horrible. Might be worth getting Delia a phone too, to cover all bases. Hopefully the family plans will be manageable.

[whiskeychick.livejournal.com]

while reading this my husband happened upon me and said, "oh no! what's wrong? what did I do wrong."
hehe. the mad wife look.
/hugs.

[mkaout.livejournal.com]

How was Rob's first day?

[pegkerr.livejournal.com]

Hasn't happened yet. They needed a little more time to process the paperwork. Should happen sometime this week.

[aome.livejournal.com]

Is it too late to go back to the dojo and hit things again? Ugh. I think what really took the cake for me is Rob going, "Oh, right. Mondays" when you had just talked to him about it and he should have remembered it was his turn THEN.

I hope today is better. *hug*

[johnridley.livejournal.com]

If they're not expected to be heavy cell-phone users, I suggest Virgin Mobile, if the Sprint PCS network is good around you (I suspect it is). I use my phone only for events such as you describe, my usage is typically less than 10 minutes a month.
$20 for a phone, no commitment, and if you use credit card auto-pay, you only have to buy $15 worth of minutes every 90 days. Unused minutes are retained; I now have about $110 in my account. They have a couple of plans, I'm on the 18 cent per minute one. We have 3 of their phones now.

So anyway, $20 up front and $5/month, gives you around 30 minutes a month which is probably plenty for the occasional "hey, go pick up X" or "what color foo did you want?" call.

There are other pay-as-you go companies, but most have issues like not carrying forward your unused balance, or charging $20/month, etc.

For us minimal cell users, it's a good deal.

Sorry about your frustration. I've had days when my brain spaced completely out as apparently Rob's did.

[johnridley.livejournal.com]

As someone else pointed out, text messages are really cheap; 5 cents to send, 5 to receive. If you go nuts on texting or commonly use more minutes, they have some ways you can pay a flat rate per month and get a chunk of free texts, or lower the per-minute rate to 10 cents. Depends on your usage.

[http://users.livejournal.com/anam_cara_/]

And sometimes text messages will get through with spotty reception better than redialing and redialing, so someone at least knows that you are trying to get a hold of them, and they can readily see the message without going to voicemail.

[slashkilter.livejournal.com]

*sympathizes* Wow, sounds like our household. My parents and my little brother all have mobile phones, but using them, that's a whole different story, which makes the whole thing even more ridiculous.

[wordswoman.livejournal.com]

Ohhhh, I do sympathize. On a similar evening, I made 3 trips round trips between home and the high school trying to locate my missing daughter--knowing logically it was just a case of crossed wires, but plagued by Deep Dark Fears all the while. When I finally located her, we went straight to the Sprint store to get cell phones for everyone in the family.

Hasn't solved every problem; Daughter #2 forgets to turn on her cell phone except when she needs to make a call, so I've had times when I needed to reach her and couldn't. But it's helped.

[eal.livejournal.com]

Oh my, that's a rough night. I'm so sorry and I hope today goes better.

Oh, and you might look into iwantsandy.com it's a clever little program that can help you keep schedules coordinated.

[romancoat.livejournal.com]

I like text messaging because they usually get through even when the signal is spotty.

It's interesting though how cell phones have become a necessity. Eight years ago, I was very adamant about not wanting a cell phone because I did not want people at work calling and disturbing me when I'm at home or having dinner with family/friends. Now though, I've changed my mind. Cell phones mean that if I have to take a conference call at 8pm, I don't have to stay at work that late. I can at least eat out with friends, and just excuse myself for fifteen minutes or so to take the call. If I'm at the grocery, I can call home and ask if there's anything they want/need. Instead of being unable to go on vacation because there are some things at work that I MAY need to be consulted on, I can take off, and they can call if they need something.

On the other hand, it also means I get woken up in the middle of the night because people have questions. And being late when meeting up with friends is more common, because they can just text/call and say they'll be late - it's less guilt on the part of the late person because the early bird can window shop or something first instead of sitting at a restaurant waiting.

[amandageist.livejournal.com]

Not to pass over your frustrations, which are many and justified, but...Corwin? Is a girl's name?

I got used to Madison, and Jordan, and Taylor--but "Corwin" is right there in the firmly male category for me, like "John" or "Paul" or "Robert." I just can't even make it have remotely female overtones.

Corwin.

~Amandageist

[pegkerr.livejournal.com]

Yep, it's a girl name. They may spell it Corwyn; I'm not sure.

[hobbitbabe.livejournal.com]

How funny, that never occurred to me. I just thought Peg's kids would be the kind of sensible kids who have friends of both sexes.