Lovely Friday night out

[pegkerr]

I stink of cigarette smoke, and I'm tired and full and somewhat manic. I went to Kieran's Pub tonight. Didn't go with any friends this time; just took some old favorite books along. Sat in a corner and gorged on their inimitable pot roast sandwich (with a Guinness-laced gravy that would have made cardboard delectable) as I read and listened to excellent live Irish music. Had Irish coffee, and several hours later, after the pot roast had settled a bit, I ordered chocolate cake, with a drizzle of an Bailey's Irish Creme sauce, dense as plutonium. Kieran's wasn't as crowded as usual, and for a miracle, there weren't any smokers near me for hours, so I was free to just enjoy the music.

Then a table settled right next to me, and about six of them lit up cigarettes. I cursed quietly and then moved to a different table. Then: strangeness. The guy at the next table started flirting with me. Blatantly. I was stunned.

You have to understand, it's been years since a stranger has tried to flirt with me. Seven or eight years, I think. Which is kind of sad. I don't think I look particularly loathsome, but I am getting older, and in our youth-oriented culture, I have been exquisitely aware that my flirt-value in the opinion of most males of the species vanished years ago. This guy wasn't particularly smooth, and he told so many obvious lies that I found myself wondering whether he was so bad at it and scored so rarely that he just flirts with anything that crossed his path, even someone as nondescript as me, out of sheer desperation. The whole experience was rather interesting in a this-is-weird sort of way.

On the other hand, I wonder if guys have flirted with me, and I've just been oblivious because of my naturally monogomous mindset.

I remember one time I was at a convention, talking with a group of friends about sexual mores. I glanced around the circle--there were seven or eight of us--and I suddenly realized that everyone else was either gay or polyamorous. I pointed out that I was the only married heterosexual monogomist present, and eileenlufkin responded with a smirk, "Yes, and we'd really like you to explain your strange and deviant lifestyle to us."

Anyway, it added an interesting frisson to the entire evening. I finally settled my bill, overtipping the waiter handsomely, and left close to midnight, stinking of cigarettes, and very happy. I haven't felt so much pleasure in quite a while. A good sign. I should arrange to feel pleasure like this more often.

Comments

[jbru.livejournal.com]

I'll just chime in with the note that you've still got flirt value.

Who was the act at Kieran's? And how were they?

If we're not careful, you deviant, married, monogamous people will start taking control of everything!

[pegkerr.livejournal.com]

*blushes* You're kind!

The main act was Clairseach (Ann and Charlie Heymann), and they were, of course, super excellent. I didn't get the name of the gentlemen who followed 'em.

[davidschroth.livejournal.com]

I'd say jbru is more telling the truth than being kind. You were eminently flirt-worthy when I first met you, and you don't appear to have lost any worthiness in the ensuing five or so years...

[nahkasiipi.livejournal.com]

Oh, that sounds like a fun evening. :) I've been considering going to an Irish pub here, just to listen to the music and maybe have a drink or two, but I've always turned the idea down because of the drunken people who are always harrassing others. Hmph.

[aome.livejournal.com]

You know, could the rich detail you've used to describe this evening be turned into a scene for your book?

Aside from the smoke, it sounds absolutely wonderful.

Oh, and if you want to have more fun with flirting, as an esteem booster, I highly recommend contra dancing, which is very social and gets a sort of natural flirting as part of the process, which no one takes seriously. Much fun!

[peacockharpy.livejournal.com]

*nods* I was just thinking about how Solveig would react to being in the same situation (being flirted with).

Our favorite Irish pub closed. :( It's since reopened somewhere else, but I'm told that it's more of a restaurant and the ambience isn't the same. Wah!

[roadnotes.livejournal.com]

As a datapoint from a happily partnered poly person who's about your age, it's quite likely that people have flirted with you, and you've been oblivious. I'm oblivious half the time, it seems: it takes a really clumsy or really blatant person to get my attention.

[lcohen]

you're a lovely, lovely woman, peg and i bet you get flirted with a lot more than you realize. but it's also possible that you usually give off "don't flirt with me" vibes. i recall you having a fairly serious demeanor except at points during the LJ party. that's not about how toothsome you remain, it's about how approachable you seem.

various responses

[splagxna.livejournal.com]

adore ann heyman. had no idea she was in the msp area.

i have too many friends who talk about going to kieran's. it makes me jealous. miss minnesota.

contra dancing - yes, lots of flirting. ditto for dancing (or doing much of anything) in the sca... which i recommend to most people on general principle anyway. :-D

[corinnethewise.livejournal.com]

Yay for a wonderful evening!

[cakmpls.livejournal.com]

On the other hand, I wonder if guys have flirted with me, and I've just been oblivious because of my naturally monogomous mindset.

Likely. Depends, perhaps, on the definition of "flirt."

If you define it as I do--"to make apparent by words and/or body language that one is romantically/sexually interested, though possibly only theoretically (as, under other circumstances, such as our not both being monogamously attached, etc.)"--I'm sure you have been. I still get flirted with occasionally--using that definition--and I'm 56 and a plus size besides.

[avengangle.livejournal.com]

Are those your kids? I haven't seen this avatar before. They're adorable!

Incidentally, my friends and I tried to go to an Irish pub last night but we couldn't decide on one (they all seemed to have sports on TV, rather than actual music) so we ended up at a gay bar instead which was just as fun. (And yes, there are Irish-type pubs in Cleveland.)

[marykaykare.livejournal.com]

Naturally monogamous mindset. Heh. Yeah I used to think that too. Then at the tender age of 49 I discovered I had fallen in love with someone else without it affecting how I felt about my husband in the least. It was -- interesting.

MKK

[eileenlufkin.livejournal.com]

"I pointed out that I was the only married heterosexual monogomist present, and eileenlufkin responded with a smirk, "Yes, and we'd really like you to explain your strange and deviant lifestyle to us." "

I hope it was clear that I meant to be funny, not obnoxious. Actually I hope I at least achieved not obnoxious.

[daedala.livejournal.com]

I can hear you say it, too. Was I there? I don't remember. It's so Eileen.

[pegkerr.livejournal.com]

I thought it was exceptionally funny! I've always smiled whenever I've remembered that conversation.

[til-midnight.livejournal.com]

A year or so ago, a total stranger asked my mother to marry him at the gas station. My mother is nearly 50 and had three children in the car with her. She was flabbergasted.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

I was unaware of my physical attractiveness until I came out of the closet at 31, I guess I just couldn't acknowledge it. Then, for the first time, I noticed women looking at me, too. The other day I got a long look from a teenage girl in the park; I wasn't sure what it meant, but it wasn't loathing. It was kind of freaky-amusing.

[rysmiel.livejournal.com]

fwiw, you are definitely someone with whom I would be motivated to flirt were circumstances such that it were appropriate.

[pegkerr.livejournal.com]

*blushes* What an elegant compliment! Thanks.

[rysmiel.livejournal.com]

Oh good, I'm glad that sentiment came out right - not always an easy one to express. At least in this medium you got it without the stuttering and other shyness-related incoherencies and imprecisions.