I managed to stay calm

[pegkerr]

You really would have been proud of me, friends list. I managed to stay extremely calm when Delia tearfully informed me that she couldn't find the envelope stuffed with cash and checks for Girl Scout cookie orders (totaling, oh, $400.00+) that was due tomorrow. "I put it right there!" she exclaimed, her finger quivering with indignation as she pointed to the table, and then she collapsed, weeping like a Victorian heroine, on the couch. So, instead of going to sparring class, I spent about a half hour breathing deeply and methodically tearing apart the living and dining room. I even called Rob, who had gone to a book signing, to tell him to come home to help look.

I finally found the envelope, kicked underneath a couch. The same couch that Delia was baptizing with her tears.

I'd really wanted to go to sparring class. But I am quite pleased that I did not yell or even raise my voice in the slightest. More importantly, I am extremely relieved that we don't have to cough up the money ourselves.

Rob then was sent to Walgreens to buy posterboard for Delia's project that was due tomorrow. Which she had forgotten about entirely. This was not how he had intended to spend his evening, either.

Sometimes it is really quite difficult to be the mommy and/or the daddy. Not to mention murder on your blood pressure.

I believe that I am entirely justified in eating a bowl of ice cream without worrying about the calories.

Comments

[haddayr.livejournal.com]

phew!

[naomikritzer]

*offers whipped cream to go with the ice cream*

I'm glad it turned up!

[jbru.livejournal.com]

Seems your retreat is having some lasting effects.

(Remember, ice cream comes in those devilishly convenient single-serving containers.)

[cussedness.livejournal.com]

Ice cream was my refuge while I was raising Sovay. In fact, after having a very stressful weekend, I made a coke float, sucked up the froth from the ice cream bobbing in a glass of coca-cola and enjoyed it.

[kchew.livejournal.com]

You burned off a lot of calories looking for the envelope (adrenalin, and all that). You can *definitely* have a bowl of ice cream with no worries. :)

[corinnethewise.livejournal.com]

I'm very proud of you. I do not think I could have remained that calm. I'm very impressed (and very happy you found the envelope).

[kiwiria.livejournal.com]

I believe that I am entirely justified in eating a bowl of ice cream without worrying about the calories.

I totally agree.

I'm glad you found the money.

[mayakda.livejournal.com]

Mmm ... ice cream.

[malinaldarose.livejournal.com]

I dunno...I think you could find justification for an entire pint of ice cream at that point. With whipped cream. And sprinkles.

[pokeystar.livejournal.com]

and a long soak in the tub, too!

Is calm always the best route?

[amandageist.livejournal.com]

I'm really not trying to be difficult, but this seems to be one of the things we all accept without question, and looking at it objectively--why is not raising your voice a good thing in this instance? My husband and I don't fly off the handle at every little thing the kids do, but we use our own reactions to show the children that their actions cause reactions and affect other people. My children would interpret my simply finding the envelope for them, with no raised voice or other behavior to indicate I was extremely upset and disappointed in them, as a free pass--confirmation that it hadn't been that big a deal.

Probably we just convey "upset" to our kids in different ways--but even when they were smaller and something they did unthinkingly hurt me--I'd be visibly hurt. It helped them get from "unthinking" to "thinking." Letting them know that their actions affect more than themselves.

Just pondering.

~Amanda

Re: Is calm always the best route?

[pegkerr.livejournal.com]

There is more here than meets the eye. In this case, getting upset absolutely would not have helped. Specifically, Delia has been working very hard to regulate her moods in the past year, and needs to learn how to do so particularly in a stressful situation. And this was very stressful: she knew perfectly well that if the money wasn't found we would have to pay it--and she also knows how dreadfully strapped our household is right now. She was terrified. My job (aside from finding the envelope) was to help keep her from being totally swamped by panic by projecting/modeling calm myself. I was glad that I was able to do so.

Re: Is calm always the best route?

[amandageist.livejournal.com]

There's always more to the story--thanks for the extra detail. This has been a fence I've walked all my years of parenting--shaping my reaction to best fit what they need to learn. Sometimes you have to pick one lesson from the menu of a given situation. Sometimes it's a long menu.
:)

Dittos on the ice cream, by the way--but isn't it *cold* up there still? Don't you mean hot chocolate with lots of whipped cream (and a shot of something in it..)?

Re: Is calm always the best route?

[pegkerr.livejournal.com]

Dittos on the ice cream, by the way--but isn't it *cold* up there still? Don't you mean hot chocolate with lots of whipped cream (and a shot of something in it..)?

I actually resorted to an old favorite: take a banana, slice it up, then microwave it for a minute. Top with vanilla ice cream. I love the heat of the baked banana. Mmmm . . .