La Quinceañera

[pegkerr]

Today, Fiona gets on a bus and starts the two day drive to Mexico, where, along with a contingent of people from my sister Betsy and sister Cindy's church, she will spend a week working at the Casa Hogar Elim orphanage in Nuevo Laredo on the U.S./Mexico border. Here is the church's 2008 Mission Trip booklet, which includes pictures of the children and the orphanage and outlines what to expect on the trip.

Fiona's birthday is on Sunday, which means she will be turning fifteen just as she crosses the Mexican border.

Mexico, of course, like many of the other Latin American countries, makes a special celebration of a girl's fifteenth birthday, La Quinceañera. It seems to be a melding of Spanish and native cultures, perhaps even harking back to Aztec customs, and is both a religious occasion and a chance to throw a great party. Since there is a religious component (often a special Mass), the godparents are heavily involved in the celebration. Our next door neighbors are originally from Mexico, and we watched them prepare for months for their daughter's La Quinceañera.

The instructions for preparing for the Mexico trip included to bring a special outfit because the orphanage would be celebrating the La Quinceañera celebration for six girls while the group is there. I wonder if they will tell them that Fiona has just turned fifteen, so she might get a little honor, too. It makes me sad to be apart from her for such a milestone birthday, but I'm proud of the work she's going to do, and my wistfulness is leavened by the fact that my sister Betsy is also on the trip. She shares Fiona's March 30 birthday and was present in the delivery room at her birth, and she is Fiona's godmother. So. . . a godparent will be with her at her La Quinceañera.

La Quinceañera is understood by many to be an acknowledgment that a young girl is now becoming a woman. Last weekend, at Minicon, Rob was sitting by the pool with Greg Ketter (owner of Dreamhaven books). Greg watched as Fiona swam with the rest of the kids, cavorting in the water like a happy, lithe otter, utterly oblivious, no doubt, to the rather stunning effect caused by the intersection of her swimming suit with her blossoming figure. "You know," Greg said, turning to Rob and remarking in a deadpan voice, "you are in sooooooooooo much trouble."

Happy birthday, my darling Fiona, growing up so fast and turning out so beautifully. And I offer up, for what seems like the millionth time, a prayer of heartfelt thanks and gratitude for Dr. Loie Lenarz, who saved your life before you were even born (a million blessings be on her head). I can't imagine what my life would have been like without you to show me the many joys of motherhood.

Comments

[ozarque.livejournal.com]

Lovely. Thank you for posting this.

[aome.livejournal.com]

This is such a lovely tribute to your daughter - and to the wonderful job you've done parenting her, too. I hope Fiona gets at least a little taste of a Quinceanera on her journey, but just the mission trip itself will a gift in its own way. (Although ... ugh to a two-day bus ride!)

I didn't know you almost lost her before her birth. Thank goodness for modern medicine.

[pegkerr.livejournal.com]

I could have sworn I'd told you the story. I know I've mentioned it before on this journal. I almost unknowingly aborted her before her birth, and she was a very wanted baby, too--she was only saved by my doctor taking a precaution and running another pregnancy test.

What happened was, I became pregnant, and we were overjoyed. But seven weeks later, I started spotting. Panicking, we went to the hospital, and they did an ultrasound. I was told that that apparently the baby had died in utero, that I had, in fact, miscarried. The ultrasound technician was, in fact, wrong--Fiona was just still too small to be seen on the monitor. So I was told to go home and wait for the tissue to pass.

So I went home and bawled; we were both just overcome with grief. And waited. I cramped fiercely for eleven days, but nothing further happened. I kept calling the doctor's office, and they finally said, "Well, this must be what we called a 'missed miscarriage,' where the baby dies but for some reason the tissue doesn't naturally pass. In situations like this, we have to do a D&C.

Well, fine, I decided, let's just get this over with. It was horrible to walk around for over eleven days thinking there was this dead baby--this dearly wanted baby--inside of me. I wanted it out.

The procedure was that I was to go see my doctor, who would give me an injection to open my cervix, and the following day, I'd have the D&C. So I went to see my doctor. "You haven't seen any tissue pass at all?" she asked me, frowning.

"No." Tears welled up in my eyes. "Please, let's just get this over with."

"Well, I'm just going to run another pregnancy test," she said. "I just want to be sure."

She came back in, ten minutes later, with the most extraordinary expression on her face. "Your pregnancy hormones are elevated up ten times from where they were on the day that you went into the emergency room."

Rob and I looked at each other and I burst into tears. "What does that mean?"

"It could mean you have cancer," she told me bluntly. "Or you could have an ectoptic pregnancy, where the fertilized egg lodges in the Fallopian tube instead of the uterus, in which case we'll have to operate immediately. Or . . . you could still be pregnant. I want you to go back to the hospital for another ultrasound."

So we went back, and we held our breath as the technician manipulated the wand and there--oh, there! There was my lost and bitterly mourned baby, astonishingly alive after all, her heart beating away like a miracle.

She is the one true instance in my life to which I can point and say, Yes, I experienced a miracle.

And I came so close to losing her. I came so close to killing her myself, unknowingly, even as I mourned her.

It was my doctor's hunch that saved her life.

[aome.livejournal.com]

Oh, wow. What an incredible story. And no, I hadn't heard it before - thank you for sharing.

Gak!

[mplsvala.livejournal.com]

What an exciting business this reproduction turns out to be, huh? So glad it worked out this way.

[wild-patience.livejournal.com]

One of my co-workers recently returned from a mission trip to Mexico like this. He gave a presentation for us. It was a wonderful experience for him and he plans to go back.

[pegkerr.livejournal.com]

This is actually Fiona's second time going; she went on the same trip last year.

[pinkfinity.livejournal.com]

Happy birthday to Fiona!

Peg, I will be in Mexico on Wednesday - in Cozumel, but still. I'll throw a birthday message into the air for her while we're in the same country, if you want.

[pegkerr.livejournal.com]

Hurray! Thanks!