Suspicions about glassware

[pegkerr]

I am deeply suspicious about the oh-so-innocent glassware tumblers we have in our house. They seem to emit a brain-dampening wave that depresses conscious thought. That is the only explanation that occurs to me. Remember in Tam Lin how Janet discovered she wasn't able to think about the ghost who threw books from her dormitory window, as long as she [Janet] was at school? Yeah. Exactly like that.

I have made several variations on the following little speech to my offspring three or four times this past week: "My darlings, I can't help but notice a teensy little problem whenever I come home from work. Specifically, it seems that every single glass in the house seems to end up, not in the cupboard, in a shiny, pristine, squeaky-clean state as I'd expect, but instead they're filled with Kool-aid and/or Fresca and/or milk and/or what have you and spread out all over the counters. This is a problem, my loves, because it is very difficult to cook dinner when there isn't a spare inch of counterspace, not to mention the irritation of not having any clean glasses when it comes time to serve dinner.

"So do you think you could possibly, possibly pick up the sponge and wash out your own glasses and put them in the drainer throughout the afternoon?"

They gave me stunned, blank, and slightly guilty looks.

"I know it never occurs to you to do so, ordinarily," I said even more sweetly (as sweetly as Dolores Umbridge). "But it really isn't that difficult. So could you try? Please? For me?"

"Yes, Mommy," they chorused, looking ever so angelic.

"Thank you, my precious poppets."

But you guessed it. I come home from work, and there are all the glasses, spread out over the counter again. What could it be? Despite their earnest promises, it seems that whenever that dirty glass is in their hand, the girls make their way, lemming-like, to the kitchen and deposit it on the counter. As if they are absolutely unable to engage their brains to command their hands to clean that glass as long as they are holding it. Despite repeated promises.

It's uncanny. It's perplexing.

I dunno . . . could the glassware be planning something nefarious? Is that why they are loitering in such a suspicious manner on my counters--and mysteriously shutting off my family's higher cognitive functions?

Comments

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

My mother got me to do this by sending me after my grandfather about it. She complained about his glass-leaving tendencies, and so I prowled around waiting for him to finish the last drop in his glass, and he would clutch it to his chest declaring that it was still perfectly good and he had every intention of refilling the glass with water and like that. But it got me thinking about the glasses and their state of cleanliness; it broke their evil spell.

[maribou]

Did you ever see the movie Signs? Maybe it's in your best interest to have half-full glasses everywhere ...

[bekkio.livejournal.com]

Wow, I'm feeling envious. My glassware gets no where near the kitchen sick. They're glued to the dining room table, or the ledge between the entryway and the living room.

[auriaephiala.livejournal.com]

At least you don't have to go looking for the glasses all over the house...

But, really, how many seconds does it take to wash a glass? I guess they need to be trained that finishing with a glass and washing it are an indivisible operation.

[peacockharpy.livejournal.com]

We have a similar problem with Meg's cups, except she doesn't take them to the sink -- recently, she has started just dropping them when she's finished with them, no matter where she is at that moment. Maddening.

And this despite the fact that we've instated a "use one cup per day" rule, so when she wants something to drink, we make her go find the cup she was using.

Maybe you just need

[dragonet2.livejournal.com]

to hold the line and let the glasses pile up. and not wash them. And tell the girls if they want a clean glass they must wash them out.

Or just let it go for a while. I know this is difficult, my kitchen and bathrooms are the hot spots as far as housekeeping goes (if they're dirty, I'm not a happy housekeeper). BUT in terms of getting dishes washed, I let people know that I'm not going to hunt for dishes/glasses. Then again there are only adults in my house, not children under 18.

just a thought.

[minnehaha.livejournal.com]

Take all but three of the glasses out of the kitchen and put them in a box in the basement or garage. Except yours, which you can keep in your office.

K.

[aome.livejournal.com]

This was my thought, also.

[pegkerr.livejournal.com]

Now that is the first truly practical suggestion I've heard!

But I'd have to take out all the coffee mugs, too. They resort to those when the glasses are all dirty.

[minnehaha.livejournal.com]

Sounds like a plan.

B

[alicebentley]

They've probably got you outnumbered! Reduce the effect by shutting almost every glass in a box, leaving one one precious device per person (even better if each person chooses the glass they wish to have Lordship over), and then they won't be able to gang up on you.

[schnoogle.livejournal.com]

Be thankful it's just glasses - in my house it was all maneer of plates and cutlery too, from when people would get toast and such.

[pegkerr.livejournal.com]

No, the plates and cutlery are a problem, too.

I'm just trying to tackle one problem at a time. *sigh*

[schnoogle.livejournal.com]

(I hope my first comment didn't come off too snarky! It certainly wasn't meant to be, but when I reread it it didn't seem to have quite the tone I'd hoped...)

Best of luck to you! I know that it really annoys my father, and as far as I know he hasn't managed to stop my sisters from doing it. (I've moved out for college.) If you figure out the secret, pass it along. ^^

[musicbearmn.livejournal.com]

Oh dear, its sounds like we need to do an intervention at your house. The not-so-innocent glassware are taking over the world!

[huladavid.livejournal.com]

If your girls' minds work like mine (I hope not, for your sanity and theirs...) maybe you need to post a sign (or 6,000...) on the counter that read, "Wash 'em up!" or the like.

Which reminds me of when I moved to Linden Hills from Sue Grandys' old place on Lyndale Ave. Since I'm pretty darn forgetful (ask me about my sign name sometime) I posted a big sign in my work cubicle with "You Don't Live There Anymore!" on it.

[nmsunbear.livejournal.com]

That's what I was thinking, only my thought was a couple dozen multi-colored sticky notes, so it would be impossible to leave a glass on the counter without putting it down on or right next to a "wash it, please" note. :)

[diatryma.livejournal.com]

I considered it a victory for cleanliness when I started filling my nightly chocolate milk glasses with water instead of leaving them to dry overnight. Good luck with it.

[cakmpls.livejournal.com]

The one that drives me crazy is the pop cans on the counter, when the recycling bag is five feet away.

[irinaauthor.livejournal.com]

Put the glasses in their beds. Then they'll remember. Hee. But, seriously, whenever my mom wanted me to put something away, she'd leave it in a place that was inconvenient for me, pretty much forcing me to do something about it.

[littlecatfeet.livejournal.com]

My mother used to try that, but about half the time it ended with me sleeping in an awkward curled up position in my bed, huddled around piles of laundry and textbooks, or just stepping over piles of art project stuck in front of my bedroom door.

It's unfortunate that laziness and stubbornness can take one so far into the realm of ridiculous.

[irinaauthor.livejournal.com]

It's unfortunate that laziness and stubbornness can take one so far into the realm of ridiculous.

That's for sure. The rule was my parents wouldn't take me to school until I'd made my bed, and I actually went through a phase when I was nine where I slept on my bedroom floor in a sleeping bag, right next to my made bed, because I didn't want to have to make it in the morning. This went on for about two months before I got tired of it, but my mom and dad never said a word.

[volkhvoi.livejournal.com]

I like the pack it all away solution (assuming you can find a place to hide it all that they won't find and just pull glasses out of).

What about washing only the set of dishes and utensils that you will use for dinner, forcing them to either eat out of dirty plates or wash them?