Mark Reads begins The Lord of the Rings

[pegkerr]

Mark Oshira of Mark Reads has finished The Hobbit (sse his review, chapter by chapter, here) and he is beginning to read The Lord of the Rings:

In the first chapter of The Fellowship of the Ring, Bilbo Baggins arranges the most spectacular party imaginable in order to pass his wealth on to his nephew and heir, Frodo Baggins. Intrigued? Then it’s time for Mark to read The Lord of the Rings.

Oh, I am truly, truly excited to finally start this project. I had a lot of fun with The Hobbit, so I have less of an expectation to dislike this book. Instead, I’m actually super excited to get a chance to learn why so many millions of people (and all my close personal friends, who are flabbergasted I’ve avoided this for so long) are in love with J.R.R. Tolkien and The Lord of the Rings. The only thing I’ve allowed people to spoil me on is the opinion that this book is better-written and darker than The Hobbit, and I’m perfectly okay knowing this. You know why? Because this is what I’ve managed to retain from pop culture regarding The Lord of the Rings.

WHAT I KNOW ABOUT LORD OF THE RINGS

■You can’t walk into Mordor.
■There are twins?
■One of them likes potatoes a lot? I honestly am so stumped as to why this is a thing at all and what the fuck have you done fandom.
■Gandalf is in it
■There’s a hobbit named Frodo, and Elijah Wood plays him.
■I’ve heard that John Noble, who plays the brilliant Walter Bishop on Fringe, is in one or some of the movies! I don’t know who he plays.
■There’s a character named Legolas and Orlando Bloom plays him and his name was always distracting because I’m a huge LEGO fan and I’m like IS HE MADE OF LEGOS. He’s not and that upsets me.
■You know, I spent time intellectualizing LEGOS a couple weeks ago, especially since I’ve had a resurgence in my obsession (AKA I can actually afford like one set a month), and I realized that because my brain is spatially-challenged, LEGOs allow me to feel like I can build and construct things with my hands. I’ve always had a problem with arranging things in physical space, and I think that’s where my clumsiness comes from. I always feel so accomplished when I complete a model.
■WELL OKAY THAT WAS FUN. Um…Gollum is in this? I think?
■There’s a Shire.
■um
■well
■There’s a ring? And someone is lord of it? Is it the same ring that Bilbo took from Gollum?
■??????
■?????????
■??????????????

This is gonna be fun! Follow along here.